Lover Transformed
by Lady Babette
Summary: This is my take on what happens with Blay and Qhuinn after the events of Lover Mine. Also has a lot of V and Butch too. The rating is mostly do to language. And of course this is male/male.
1. Chapter 1

**I do not own any part of the Black Dagger Brotherhood. All of that greatness is the work of the amazing J R Ward.**

**As of 5-22-12 the wonderful GothicBelle has beta'ed this for me. Hopefully this is now easier to read.**

**I hope everyone enjoys.**

**Chapter One**

Blaylock re-entered his bedroom from the balcony. _Qhuinn is such an asshole_, he thought. _Take care of myself, like I don't know what that means, a real fucking asshole._

Blay was seething with anger for the person he loved. Even after today Qhuinn held his heart. It sucked that that old cliché 'What the heart wants,' was so heart wrenchingly true. When Blay had told Qhuinn that being with Saxton had 'Felt right,' he hadn't been exactly truthful. The truth was though it had _felt_ right to be with a male, so much better than any of the females in his past; it also felt very wrong because it was the wrong male.

The bathroom door opened then and Saxton walked out already dress for the evening. "I am going to go spend the time before First Meal in the library." Saxton headed for the hall door.

Blay felt awful. "I'm sorry." He didn't know what else to say. He was sorry. Not just for Saxton, but for himself. What kind of male did this to himself? What kind of male belittled a person as he had, especially during sex?

"It's not all your fault, you know," Saxton said turning to him. "I knew your feelings for him and I knew this would be hard, if not impossible for you. You love him deeply. I respect that."

"I don't deserve your respect. I'm a terrible person. Please understand I really do want to move on, get over him and stop this masochistic behavior of mine." Blay knew he now had tears in his eyes. Saxton was a male of worth _and_ of the same sexual persuasion as him. Why couldn't he be attracted, attracted to him and not his selfish fucking shithead, asshole of a cousin?

"You love him. There is nothing wrong with that. Qhuinn is a male of worth; whether or not he believes that. I'm his cousin, I love him too, you know. I wish I could make him see himself for what he truly is. But that family of his really warped his perception of his self-worth. If you had not been at his side all these years, I do not believe he would have survived." Saxton had crossed to Blay and was now holding the young warrior as he cried.

"What have I done?" Blay managed to whisper between sobs. He was still furious with Qhuinn but was even more mad at himself for being so weak. Real males of worth didn't bawl on another's shoulder like a baby.

"_We_ did, Blay, we did." Saxton said as he rubbed the other males back feeling ashamed of what had taken place in this beautiful room during the daylight hours. It had started so wonderfully, just lying on that gorgeous bed with the young Blaylock in his arms. Then they had just laid together and kissed for what seemed like hours. He should have left it at that, but no, he had wanted more.

Saxton was so ashamed. He could see the nervousness in Blay's eyes but he had pressed the warrior on. He knew that Blay's actions where a direct result from Qhuinn's rejection, and he should have backed away and given the situation more time. Blay was trying to force himself to move on in one day, one moment even. He should have waited for Qhuinn to come to his senses and realize what he saw between the two young males. It may have taken time but Saxton knew Qhuinn would have figured out there was no substitute or replacement for a male the caliber of Blaylock. Saxton had rarely seen two beings more suited for each other, their love so obvious.

The beauty and innocence of Blaylock is what had done Saxton in. He could not control himself. He had wanted Blay with every bone in his body. Blay was beautiful inside and out. He was a true warrior, a fighter to the core, but he also had a huge heart and a gentle soul. He was a male of worth who would protect their race to the death.

Saxton had seen the way Blay's eyes burned with passion at Qhuinn when he thought no one was watching and he had wanted that for himself. His actions of the day were the single most selfish of his life. He now wished to take it back and that was a first.

Saxton had not come to his senses until it was too late. He had slowly directed Blay to his will and at the height of the passion they had created together Blay had called out Qhuinn's name. That had stopped Saxton instantly and he had turned his back to the male. His heart filled with disgust for himself and what he had done. In reality, he knew it had been both their decision, which still did not make it right.

Even with Qhuinn's refusal of reality, Saxton felt he and Blay had both betrayed a male of worth they each loved deeply.

Saxton pulled himself away from his thoughts and back to Blay. "Hey, we are going to fix this, Blaylock. I am going to leave you so you can prepare for First Meal. I will be in the library. Okay?"

"Okay, thank you."

"After First Meal I am going to seek an audience with the King. I want to stay here. You need a friend right now and I want to be that friend." Blay looked at him with worry in his brilliant blue eyes. _How could Qhuinn be so ignorant as to refuse those eyes?_ He thought, and then said aloud, "Just friends Blay, like I should have done in the first place. Let me help you, besides I am sure there are things that I will be able to help the monarchy and even the Brotherhood with. Our laws can be quite hard to navigate at times. I am sure I can be put to use."

"Thank you," Blay said in a still shaky voice. He was still so confused. Confused about Qhuinn, about what had happened with Saxton, and mostly confused with himself.

As Saxton opened the door he said, "The three of use are going to work this all out. It will just take time." He gently closed the door.

Not knowing what else to do and still feeling far too overwhelmed Blay moved to the bathroom. He hoped by the time he was showered and dressed he would have himself prepared for First Meal.


	2. Chapter 2

**I do not own any part of the Black Dagger Brotherhood. All of that greatness is the work of the amazing J R Ward.**

**As of 5-22-12 the wonderful GothicBelle has beta'ed this for me. Hopefully this is now easier to read.**

**I hope everyone enjoys.**

**Chapter Two**

Qhuinn sat on the floor of his room in the dark with his back against the outside wall. He was talking out loud to himself, because. . . well it just hurt even worse to say and have to hear it than just thinking it. And his pathetic sorry ass deserved all the pain it could find.

"What is broken in me that makes me say things like that to Blay? At the very least he's my best friend. He's always been there for me. I can't believe I gave him the sorriest fucking kiss off line I have. Like he doesn't understand that one. He's probably heard me say it like a thousand times. I'm a terminal asshole, the biggest piece of shit to ever take up space. I've hurt him again. I just told the most perfect fucking creature on Earth to fuck off."

He slammed his head into the wall a few more times thinking eventually he might knock some sense into himself.

"Well, maybe, Blay ain't that perfect anymore. He did fuck that POS cousin of mine just hours ago. 'It felt right.' Fuck, damn, fuck. I could so fucking kill Sax right now." Qhuinn stood and headed for the door.

"Shit," He stopped short. "Isn't this what I wanted? I'm the one that wanted Blay to move on, to forget this attraction. I wanted him to find a male of worth and Saxton is a male of worth. Blay deserves no less than the highest male of worth. Not a society reject with a defect like me. Blay is better off. This is what he needs, a male that will love him, treat him right and most of all never hurt him. All I'll ever do is hurt him."

Qhuinn threw himself across his bed. He laid there trying to calm down. "Happy thoughts," he said aloud, "Think happy fucking thoughts." He saw Blay smiling at him, that smile that was his alone; the one Blay gave him when he thought no one was looking. That loving, perfect smile with those perfectly kissable lips. "Shit."

"Not fucking helping one damn bit." Qhuinn hissed through his clenched teeth. The image of Blay expanding to fill his mind. He could see the way Blay's fiery red hair fell just so on his beautifully smooth forehead. Those brilliant blue eyes with long thick lashes. He remembered the gorgeous blue glow of them when they had kissed. They reminded him of the sky on a bright sunny day. Those eyes held so much warmth and love and passion. _I could look into those eyes forever_, he thought to himself.

"Fuck, fuck, fuck." That was his problem. He couldn't think of his best friend without thinking of fucking him. Qhuinn thought of Blay's perfect lips again and of his mouth and wonder what it would feel like to have his cock in it. "Shit." Now he had a hard on.

"What the fuck is wrong with me? My whole life I have dreamed of finding a female of worth and having my own family." Now it was a possibility thanks to Layla and Blay was all he dreamed of. All that mattered in this shithole that was his life. He had to quit this. He had to stop thinking and dreaming of Blaylock, but he couldn't stop himself now.

"I am so totally fucked beyond all reason." He said heading for the shower. First Meal would be soon and he defiantly had to take care of this problem before he joined the others.

…

Saxton had paused at Qhuinn's door with every intention of just taking a second and moving on, but then he had heard his cousin ranting at himself. He couldn't help but listen.

His dear cousin actually knew his own heart better than Saxton had thought. Still in a bit of denial though. Saxton reached for the door knob thinking he could help and needing to apologize.

"I wouldn't do that if I were you," a somewhat menacing voice said. "I've seen what happens and no one fairs well."

Saxton turned and saw the Brother Vishious. "What? How?"

"He's not ready yet, this is a big decision. Qhuinn needs time." V said.

"He loves Blay."

"Doesn't matter. If we push, things will only get worse."

"I have to do something." Saxton insisted.

"Then help Blay. Qhuinn needs time and Blay needs someone who understands." V was worried about the warriors too. Saxton guessed that Blay and Qhuinn had not hidden their feelings as well as they thought. "I can read minds." Vishious said walking off towards the stairs.

Saxton followed on his heels. That was amazing. "So that is how you know about them?"

"Mostly, but since Qhuinn left his bonding sent on Blay the other day, just about every male knows. We're giving them space." At the bottom of the stairs V headed for the pool room where Butch was waiting. "See you at First Meal."

Saxton stood there a minute not sure what to do, then headed for the library. He really needed to think.

…

Butch had just finished racking the pool balls when he caught sight of V and the male Saxton at the foot of the stairs. Whatever was going on V was not liking it. Butch moved to the bar to pour them drinks.

"V, man, what's doin' with the suit?" Butch asked from behind the bar.

"Seriously, you're ragging on his threads?" V asked flashing a small smile at Butch.

"Threads, pot, kettle, black. Sure. Occupation, total suit. Sorry it's the cop in me." He came around the bar and handed V a glass of Goose, not letting the brother distract him. "Answer the question."

"I was saving Fritz from having to remove blood stains from a few walls and ceiling," he said waiting on the cop to finish racking the balls.

"Deets, man, deets." Butch was giving V the universal come on hand wave.

"Had a vision, stopped it. Less talk, more play." V broke, sinking two solids.

Butch just shrugged his shoulders. "Fine, you don't want to spill now, you can later at the Pit, but you will tell me." He pointed at V's chest with his drink hand.

Vishous thought of refusing him but in the end he would wind up telling Butch or Jane or both. "Later, cop. It's heavy and First Meal is in minutes."

"True?"

"True." V said, not really thinking this was going to be such a great topic to be discussing with Butch given their past. Then again who knows?


	3. Chapter 3

**I do not own any part of the Black Dagger Brotherhood. All of that greatness is the work of the amazing J R Ward.**

**As of 5-22-12 the wonderful GothicBelle has beta'ed this for me. Hopefully this is now easier to read.**

**I hope everyone enjoys.**

**Chapter Three**

Fritz was having a hard time adjusting to a few of his new duties as head of the Brotherhood's _doggen_. Thus far the hardest thing for him was the simply over see First Meal. He had very little to do except stand in a corner and observe all that was taking place, of course from time to time he would correct a _doggen_ or slip from the room to give an order. He preferred to serve his Masters and their _shellans_ himself, but his Majesty insisted he now had better things to do.

This evening for the first time Fritz actually found himself interested is the goings on of those dining. There was an odd tension at the table this evening. The addition of the civilian male Saxton had stirred something up.

He knew that Master Blaylock had brought the male to the mansion because he had been severely injured the previous night by human attackers. He also knew from the other _doggen_ that Master Blaylock had stayed with Saxton in his room through the day. '_Good for Master Blaylock_, Fritz thought, _perhaps this male will help his obsession with Master Qhuinn.'_ Not that Fritz saw anything wrong with Master Qhuinn, but until the young male was willing to accept himself as the male of worth and stopped with the self-destructive behavior, he was a massive hazard to Master Blaylock's heart.

Fritz and the other _doggen_ were well aware of the troubles of the young males, even if they, themselves, were not. The society they lived in was harsh for those who were different. Fritz had known many couples of the same gender in his society class, he preferred males himself, but the whole of the vampire society were not as accepting. They coveted pairings and matings that were traditional and Fritz understood. Procreation was hard for civilians and the _glemera_; mortality rates of infants and mothers were extremely high. _Doggen_ did not have that problem, births where easy for their females.

Master Rhage and his lovely Mary where the first to the table as usual. They took their usual seats to the right. The Beast was always hungry and the kitchen _doggen_ couldn't be more happy. _Doggen_ lived to serve and Master Rhage's near constant hunger brought much fulfillment to them.

Next came Master Zsadist with his precious Nalla in his arms and Mistress Bella followed with the Chosen Cormia. Master Zsadist was looking quite well this evening. His brilliant yellow eyes focused on his young. The tiny female was exquisite; she was the perfect combination of all that was beautiful of her parents. The ladies separated as they rounded the table; these days they always made sure that their _hellerns_ sat side by side. There was a wonderful contentment between the two these days. Fritz was very happy at the changes in them. The _shellans_ of the Brotherhood were very good for their males.

His Majesty, King Wrath, was next with the Primale deep in conversation. Fritz had heard that a few of the Chosen were wanting to visit the mansion. Some of the ladies were wanting to find males to mate with and were sadly under the impression Blaylock and Qhuinn were available. Fritz had thought that the Chosen Layla would have warned the others.

Queen Beth entered next with Dr. Jane and Lady Marissa. The three looked as beautiful as ever. Still everyone looked a bit weary. The females took their seats.

Master John Matthew and Xhex entered hand in hand. Several of the others looked up and flashed them grins. The two were still radiating with love. The ceremony last night had been wonderful even without the Scribe Virgin. Master Tohrment had entered on their heels, most likely hoping no one would notice him that way. Five more and Fritz could ring the bell to start the servers. Tonight King Rehvenge and his _shellan_ were eating out.

The Brothers Vishous and Butch came in a few minutes later, quickly followed by Saxton. Saxton paused in the doorway and waited, looking at the opened seats. Fritz noticed that Master Vishous had Dr. Jane move a chair down. This left a seat between him and Master Butch. The two always sat next to each other. The room became eerily quiet as the others also notice the empty seat. Master Butch looked Master Vishous, a silent question in his eyes. At the same time Master Vishous eyed Saxton and nodded to the chair.

Fritz had to keep himself from grinning. The Brother must be more aware of the younger generation's problems than the old _doggen_ had thought. Though when one reflects, Master Vishous would be the Brother closest to understanding the situation. Masters Vishous and Butch had a unique relationship of their own that has not been fully resolved to Fritz's knowledge. The egg shells were really starting to pile up on the mansion floor, soon everyone would be tip toeing about.

Fritz watched as Saxton rounded the table and took the seat Master Vishous had chosen for him. He also caught the look the King gave the Brother, a questioning look. Master Vishous just nodded back with a little grunt that could mean anything. Fritz assumed that it would be discussed further at a later time.

Saxton seemed a bit nervous to Fritz. The male kept looking from his plate to the door. He kept quiet even when the volume of voices in the room rose to a dull roar again. Masters Phury and Zsadist played with Nalla as she sat in her father's lap. Most of the females were discussing the remodel on the second floor. Queen Beth and Mistress Bella were redoing a set of adjoining rooms for the new family. Mistress Mary joined in on the debate of colors and curtain fabrics.

Lady Marissa and Master Butch and Master Vishous and Dr. Jane went over their plans for their evening. Dr. Jane would be going to Safe House with Mistresses Marissa and Mary tonight. There was a new family coming in and they needed to be processed and placed quickly. The females liked getting the needy vampires settled as soon as possible. Fritz thought Safe Place was a true miracle and was thankful to his Majesty and the Lady Marissa everyday for this haven.

The Brothers Vishous and Butch were off duty tonight. They would do weapons inventory and paperwork down at the training center. Then spend the rest of the night at the Pit waiting on their _shellans_. The rest of the Brothers would receive their assignments later at the evening meeting in the King's parlor. Business as usual.

Fritz checked his watch; they were ten minutes behind schedule. He had given the two remaining warriors plenty of time. Just as he started ringing the diner bell Master Blaylock entered and quickly sat beside Mistress Mary, which left the chair between him and Master John Matthew for Master Qhuinn. Fritz watched as Master Blaylock glanced at the empty chair then met Master John Matthew's stare. There was far too much sadness in the young warrior's eyes.

Fritz knew first hand you didn't chose the one you loved and not having that individual could be heart wrenching. Fritz was lucky to have Tolliver, though they had been separated since Master Darius went into the Fade. Fritz came here to serve his new Master, the King and the Brothers, and Tolliver had gone to a safe house with their pregnant mistress. Fritz met with the lady's other _doggen_ Eva once a month, but Tolliver had steadfastly refused to leave the female and her young unprotected and for safety reasons Fritz was not allowed to know their location. He deeply missed his lover, but Master Darius's orders were to be followed. And Eva generously passed letters between the two. Fritz was snapped out of his thoughts as the dining hall went silent; Master Qhuinn had entered. Fritz rang the bell.


	4. Chapter 4

**I do not own any part of the Black Dagger Brotherhood. All of that greatness is the work of the amazing J R Ward.**

**As of 5-22-12 the wonderful GothicBelle has beta'ed this for me. Hopefully this is now easier to read.**

**I hope everyone enjoys.**

**Chapter Four**

A few minutes earlier…

Blaylock had returned to his room to shower and dress for First Meal not long after Saxton had went down stairs. Looking in the mirror Blay seriously thought about skipping First Meal. However, he figured firstly that his absence would only draw more attention to the events earlier in the day. And secondly, his absence would be disrespectful to both his king and to Saxton. Still he hoped that Saxton would not feel the need to sit beside him at diner. It was going to be hard enough for him with both Saxton and Qhuinn in the same room.

He had been delaying, not wanting to face Qhuinn or Saxton on his own. He was afraid of himself. He was hurt and angry and just so damn confused. Now though, he figured it might be best if he spoke to Saxton ahead of time. Maybe convince the male to ignore him all together and leave the mansion as soon as possible. Saxton staying on as he wished was only going to cause more problems. Learning to live without Qhuinn returning his love was going to be hard enough. Saxton would just be added pressure.

Blay straightened his collar and cuffs one more time and headed down stairs. He couldn't delay any longer. He couldn't even look at Qhuinn's door as he passed. He felt angry and guilty and so very tired of it. '_Why can't you love me, you selfish bastard?'_ Blay knew the thought was unfair as soon as he had had it. Qhuinn couldn't help the way he felt anymore than Blay could. '_Life is so fucking unfair.'_

He couldn't help but think of all the crap all the Brothers had gone through for love. The _lessers_ had almost taken Beth from Wrath. Death had almost claimed both Mary and Jane. Butch had almost died during a force transition just to be with Marissa. And Phury and Zsadist had to over come their demons. Blay knew he would have done any and all of that and more for Qhuinn's love. '_Damn, I'm such a fucking loser.'_

At the top of the stairs he was pulled out of his thoughts by the sounds of voices drifting up from the dinning hall. On his way Blay noted that the pool room and the library were already empty. '_Damn_,' he thought, '_looks like I am last.'_ Blay slowly made his way into the dinning hall. There were two chairs left. He wasn't last, Qhuinn was still missing. Blay caught V's eye and took a seat. '_Sometime's I think he knows way more than he lets on.'_

Blay deliberately left the seat between him and John empty for Qhuinn. Qhuinn belonged at John's side. Just another sign that Blay's heart was doomed. Now that Xhex and John were mated Blay no longer had a place at his friend's side. At this table or in the field. John no longer needed him and Qhuinn never did. '_Where does that leave me? Just one more problem to solve.'_

He needed a new place in the Brotherhood. A place of his own within the fold. He needed to separate himself from Qhuinn. He needed to bury his feelings for the male and move on, alone. Alone. Starring down at his dinner, Blay realized that he needed to find himself, figure out who he really was. He wasn't going to accomplish much of anything until he had a little more faith in himself. He needed a plan, a set course of action. And he knew just how to start.

…

Qhuinn waited a good fifteen minutes after dinnertime before heading down stairs. The shower had helped and getting back out in the field tonight would help even more.

The sexual crap had to stop with Blay. No more fantasying about him. No more sappy ass day dreams. No more dreams period. Dude was totally off limits. Blay had found himself a male and now maybe Qhuinn could have his best friend back. Things could get back to normal. Normal… normal was good.

When Qhuinn entered the dinning hall he was surprised to see that Blay and Saxton were not together. In fact they were on opposite sides of the table. Blay looked down at his plate as Qhuinn took his place by John.

Something just wasn't right. On the surface everyone seemed okay. Well as okay as it could be with things as they were. It was good to see V at the table; Qhuinn had thought the brother was refusing to leave his sister's side. But Doc Jane had brought in another doc to take care of Payne and the last update had been that she had made it through surgery and now they were just waiting for her to wake up.

In fact Payne seemed to be the current topic of conversation at the table. Qhuinn caught John's attention and signed, "_We hitting the streets tonight?"_

"_Think so, Xhex is in, but Wrath wants everyone upstairs after the meal. So we'll have to see,"_ was John's answer. Good, then they just needed the King's okay and all would be right in his world.

Qhuinn turned to his BFF. Blay was still starring at his plate pushing his food around.

"Hey, man you up for hunting tonight?" he asked.

"Not tonight." Blay answered. Qhuinn was a little shocked. He hadn't expected a negative. He was only asking to get the guy talking.

"Okay," Qhuinn couldn't help glancing at Saxton. _Fuck._ Qhuinn wanted things back to normal and here Blay was skipping out on him and his duty to hang with his cousin. _Fuck._ He knew his temper was rising. _Fuck. _He stabbed hard at his lamb, too hard he realized as he saw the worry in Blay's eyes. _Fuck._ He took a deep breath and then ate a few bites before talking to Blay again.

"You sure? You already missed out last night. I mean Sax is fine now, good to go. He can pop on home and you can go out with us tonight." He was probably pushing it, but Saxton was going to have to learn sooner or later that the Brotherhood came first. Blay was a soldier and had a job to do.

"I am not planning on going out tonight," Blay said. Qhuinn noted the male's voice was tense. '_Oh hell no, he was not going to be pissy with me over Sax. I already told him I was okay with the fucker, but I'm not letting him come between us or our duties,' _he thought clenching his fist on the table.

…

Blay knew the look in Qhuinn's eyes and the set of his jaw. The male was ready to fight and from the way he was eyeballing Saxton across the table someone was going to get hurt.

Blay lowered his voice, well aware they were in public and not wanting to draw any more attention that necessary. "Qhuinn," he spoke as quietly as possible. "It's not about him. I just have a few things to take care of, besides you'll have Xhex with you. You three will be just fine without me, hell you're probably better off."

Even if he didn't need to talk to the King tonight, he wasn't up to fighting at Qhuinn's side. He was too hurt and angry with him to keep his head straight.

"Blay, man, we've always had each other's backs. Nothings changed." Qhuinn had raised his voice and the others at the table had stopped talking to watch the two. '_If only Qhuinn's words were true_,' thought Blay.

"Qhuinn," Blay calmly said placing his hand on the male's fist. "Let's not fight. This isn't the place, besides you do not know if the King will even let you go tonight."

Qhuinn started to speak again, but Blay raised his hand to stop him. "Later, Qhuinn. Your Majesty, may I be excused?"

…

"Of course," Wrath answered. He did not like what he was sensing from his warriors. Like the others he was somewhat aware of the situation with Blaylock and Qhuinn. Who couldn't be after smelling Qhuinn's bonding scent all over Blaylock a few nights ago? At first he had hoped it was just from proximity, knowing the two males were rarely separated. He had even heard from Rhage that the boys often shared females after their transitions.

However, V had set him straight on the boys as they had waited together outside of the operating room last night. V had thought it important enough to relay the facts he knew to the King. The boys were important to them all. They were an important part of the next generation.

Honestly Wrath wasn't all that surprised that Blaylock was gay. Not really a news flash, he had often smelled the emotions coming from him when the two were together and Wrath could care less. He didn't care what shit went on in the guy's bedroom. Hell, he had worked with V for years knowing he had males when he wanted. Plus he and a few of the other Brothers had often wondered about Phury over the years. In Wrath opinion, as long as they knew their places and performed their duties he didn't give a flying fuck.

Hell for months he'd worried about V pining away for Butch and that had all turned out just fine in the end.

V had told him that Qhuinn knew Blay was in love with him and told him he wanted a female in his life, he planed on a _shellan_. Problem seemed to be that while the boy talked the talk, it didn't appear that he could walk the walk. None of them had laid eyes on anything, but Wrath knew there was more going on there then they were sensing.

He had been hopeful when Blaylock had called requesting aid for Saxton that the male had decided to move on from Qhuinn. If Qhuinn couldn't commit that would be best. But then this morning a grave Saxton had requested a private meeting for this evening. Not a good sign. He really did not need this with all the shit going on with Payne.

"Meeting in ten, boys." he said rising to his feet and heading up stairs.

…

Blay was pacing outside of the study doors when the King and George came around the corner. He halted and gave a little bow. Even though the King was blind he still deserved the show of respect.

"Your Majesty, may I have a word with you in private?" Blaylock nervously asked.

"You ain't the first to ask tonight, son. Looks like I'm going to be a busy man tonight." Wrath said as he opened his office door.

"My apologies, your Majesty, perhaps another night. One more convenient for you?" Blay bowed again intending to leave. He had not expected a conference later in the night, but he could wait as long as the King commanded.

"I was just bitching. Come on in and make it quick. I called the meeting in ten." George led Wrath around his dainty desk and his Majesty sat on the throne.

"May I close the door, my Lord?"

"Of course," the King said. "Blay you have to be the most respectful one out of the crew."

"Thank you for the compliment, my Lord." Blay was glad the King was blind. He was sure he was blushing enough to match his hair.

"What is it, son? I know something is bothering you." '_Of course he did,'_ Blay thought.

"Thing is I don't want to be sent out with Qhuinn and John anymore." It was best to be upfront with the King.

"You three are a great team. Why would I bust you guys up?" Wrath leaned forwards putting his arms on the desk.

"John has Xhex now. He doesn't need me. He and Qhuinn never really did, you know? They can take care of themselves and I could partner with some one else." Blay kept looking about the office, not wanting to face the King.

"Blay you're an important part of the team. Is this about you feeling useless?"

"With Xhex around, yes sir."

"She's not going to be around all the time, Blay. She is going to go back to work at the Iron Mask with Trez. She wants to work and fight." Blay hadn't known that.

"Oh. Still, sir, John and Qhuinn can handle themselves."

"I feel safer with the three of you together."

Blay was starting to panic. "But, sir. . ."

"Am I not your King?" His Majesty was starting to sound irritated.

"Yes, my Lord." Blay said worried he had pushed too far.

"Good, then tell me the _whole_ of it?"

"Sir?"

"This is about Qhuinn isn't it?"

'_Damn, he knows.'_ Blay knew he shouldn't be surprised, but he was. He had thought he had hidden things better.

"Well?" Wrath asked when Blay had not immediately responded.

"Yes, sir. I need to separate myself from him for a while."

"It must be hard for you, but I need you in the field with John. However," Wrath said with real concern on his face. "I do want to help. You really think time away from him will help?"

"Yes, sir. I want to get my head straight; I need to conquer these feelings I have. I can't do that without some kind of distance."

"Okay, this is how it's going to work out. I'm going to have a talk with Tohr. I am willing to let you partner with him, but only on nights when Xhex is on rotation. I know that's not much, but I won't put John at risk."

"Thank you, my Lord. Any space will help." Blay could feel his eyes starting to water. '_I'm such a fucking girl,'_ he thought. But this was such a relief. He took a deep breath, the first he could remember in ages and stood to go open the doors.

"One more thing, son. I want you to talk with Mary. I find that time with her can be very helpful."

"Of course, my Lord. As you wish."


	5. Chapter 5

**I do not own any part of the Black Dagger Brotherhood. All of that greatness is the work of the amazing J R Ward.**

**As of 5-22-12 the wonderful GothicBelle has beta'ed this for me. Hopefully this is now easier to read.**

**I hope everyone enjoys.**

**Chapter Five**

Qhuinn had been the first to leave the table after the King. He had reached the top of the stairs in time to see Blay enter the study and shut the door. He had decided to stop and wait for Blay, but the door had remained shut for a while now and most of the Brothers had joined in his wait.

Qhuinn heard the door handle click and his eyes zeroed in. His breath was a sharp intake when he saw Blay's face. The male's eyes were glassy, like he could cry at any moment. '_Shit, what had happened in there?'_ He moved for Blay but Blay quickly retreated back into the study.

Qhuinn froze. Blay had actually just ran from him. His chest hurt, he just couldn't believe he had hurt Blay that bad. It was all for his own good. It was because he cared. It was hard to breath. He rubbed his chest.

He hadn't realized everyone had passed by and entered the study until John clasped his shoulder.

"_We have to go in now. We'll talk when this is over," _his friend sign.

"Yeah," was all he could say. He rubbed the center of his chest as he propped his sorry ass on the wall by the door. He eyed Blay across the room, but the male refused to look at him. _Shit._

With everyone present King Wrath got down to business. "First off boys, we're going to have to change up rotations. Tohr is going to work up a new schedule tonight."

A chorus of moans circled the room. Qhuinn had no idea what could be changed. They were all already doing all they could.

Wrath raised his hand to quite the males. "We're adding Xhex and Phury into regular rotation. Phury will only be going out a few nights a week. We really appreciate it my, man."

"It is my honor to be able to return to my Brothers. I only wish I could do more." Phury said with a slight bow to the King.

"Not like you ain't got your hands full, Dude." Rhage said popping a tootsie.

"Also Xhex is going to work at the Iron Mask some too." Wrath looked right at her, which always freaked Qhuinn a little.

The male was a freaking phenom in Qhuinn's opinion. A straight up bad ass mother fucker. He totally respected his King.

"You're going to talk to Trez tonight?" the King asked Xhex.

"Yes, your Majesty," her answer was simple and to the point. Just her style.

"Rehv is also going to want you with him from time to time." Wrath stated.

"Yes, sir."

"Report to Tohr went you know what days you can patrol."

"Yes, sir."

"Now the next point of business tonight is a few adjustments to our line up." Wrath stated as he kicked back and put his boots on the desk.

Everyone started talking at once, not happy that the King was changing up their groupings. Most were happy with the way things were. Qhuinn knew his team was safe though. The King had made it pretty clear ever since he, Blay, and John joined in that they were to always be together. Qhuinn couldn't be separated from John and Blay was an awesome insurance card. The King wanted John to have as much protection as possible.

Wrath thumped his desk to hush everyone and started talking again. "First off, we're going to try to have three teams out every night, barring injuries. Second, everyone will have four nights on the streets, two nights R&R, and one night to help with inventory and reports. Third, everyone is to log at an hour in the gym every night, three on your nights in. Ya'll got that."

"We're _all_ going to have to do paperwork?" Rhage said this like it was the worst torture imaginable.

"Yes, Hollywood, it won't kill you. Butch and V have already set up some software to use. Butch is going to train every one on how to fill out incident reports and how to log in anything we collect. This will help us keep tract of things better and V says he'll be able to process things quicker. Also on your night in you'll be responsible for the phones and emails. Xhex and Phury are excluded for obvious reasons and Vishous because he does all the processing of phones and computers. V has also set up a software program so who ever is in house can run phone and address traces."

"License plates, too," V added. "Butch will teach you that too."

Qhuinn thought that sounded about right. V had little to none people skills, but was a tech genius. Seemed Butch was the only person he got along with.

"I know this is a big change, but this war is getting worse. With the attacks last summer our people have lost a lot. Financially our people are not in a good place. The monarchy and council are going to have to cut back on taxes. The Brotherhood is going to have to start thinking long term and operate a little like a real army. We are going to have to start treating the _lessers _more like they treat us. We are going to take their lives, their jars, and any assets we can. Assets as in info and money." Wrath fell silent like he was caught up in a thought.

"We have got to start being smarter than them." Tohr added.

There were plenty of affirmative sounds filling the air this time. '_They're right we need to catch up with times.'_ Qhuinn thought. Things were going to be hard for awhile.

Wrath raised his hand again to silence everyone. The room instantly went silent.

"Tohr is going to work on the schedule tonight. We'll have to adjust and work the kinks out as we're going. So here's how the teams are going to work. Rhage and Z are partners. V and Butch are partners. Tohr will be partnered with Phury or Blay."

"What?" Qhuinn couldn't believe what he had just heard. "You can't break the three of us up. We're a team."

Qhuinn thought this must be why Blay was so upset. It was stupid of the King to break up their team. They've had each other's backs since before their transitions. This was totally whacked.

"I can do as I please. I am King." Wrath said in a firm voice. "Blay will pair with Tohr on nights that Xhex is available to John and you. When Xhex is out of pocket Blay will fill her place. This will allow more teams in the field. Are we clear?"

Everyone answered yes, but Qhuinn. He just stood there frozen in place. Blay couldn't go out without him. He didn't trust anyone else to have the male's back. He had to protect him.

The King singled him out, "Qhuinn are we clear?"

Qhuinn just stood there.

"Everyone out, but Qhuinn. Now." Wrath ordered.

The Brothers quickly left the room keeping their eyes off him. John squeezed Qhuinn shoulder again before leaving the study. Blay was the last to pass him, but kept his head down so Qhuinn couldn't see his face.

Qhuinn just stared at the King as the doors closed behind him. He hadn't been this worried since the night he was appointed John Matthew's _ahstrux nohtrum_.

"Sit down, Qhuinn," Wrath said, sitting up straighter in his throne.

Qhuinn moved forward and dropped hard and loud into the chair. His knees had given out on him, but that didn't bother him as much as the pain in his chest. Blay hadn't even glanced at him as he'd left, things were suppose to be normal again, not get worse. He started rubbing at the center of his chest again.

"You got a problem there, son? We need to call Doc Jane up here?" Wrath point toward Qhuinn's chest, making him even more uneasy.

"Oh, no Sir," he jerk his hand away from his chest and gripped the arm of the chair to keep it from doing it again.

"You have a problem with the way I'm running things?"

"It's not that, I totally respect you, but. . . you just can't split me and Blay up." '_Fuck that sounded beyond desperate_,' he thought.

"I **can** do anything I want. I'm not doing this for shits and giggles, boy." Wrath brought his clenched fist up onto the desk top.

"But…"

"No buts. I need as many fighters out there as possible every night. The momentum of this war is picking up. Attacks are still increasing, vampires are still fleeing Caldwell, and we have to do everything we can. So if that means your boy has to pair up with some one else, you're just going to have to deal." Wrath's voice had increased in volume as he spoke.

"But…" Qhuinn stopped speaking as the King shot to his feet. '_Shit I must have a death wish,'_ he thought.

"What did I say?" the king asked, jerking Qhuinn to his feet by the front of his shirt. The King's instincts were amazing.

Wrath got right in his face, "I call the shots. Are. We. Clear."

"Y-yes, your Majesty." Qhuinn bowed his head in utter defeat.

"Good, now leave," the King said as he opened the door.

Qhuinn whispered to himself as he left the room, "How can I protect him if he's not with me?"

…

"Fuck me." Wrath said as he settled back at his desk and scratched George's head.

"What's wrong now?" Beth asked as she entered.

"Blay and Qhuinn," he grunted.

"I thought Blay and Saxton were together now." She looked a bit puzzled.

"I thought so too, but now I'm not so sure. I know they spent the day together, but just a few days ago we were smelling Qhuinn all over the boy."

"Do we know what happened?" "Have any of the _doggen_ said anything?" Beth and Wrath spoke at the same time and then smiled at each other as Beth settled onto his lap.

"I haven't heard them mention anything tonight," Beth answered.

"Well, I didn't get a chance to tell you, but before First Meal Saxton came to me wanting a private meeting tonight. We owe him so much that I couldn't deny him."

"Of course not, but why would you even want too?"

"He seemed off his game. I could smell the shame and guilt radiating off of him."

"Oh," was all she said as she draped one arm behind his back and settle her head on his shoulder to think.

"And you saw what happened at First Meal. Saxton was on one side of the table while Blay and Qhuinn where seated side by side on the other." Wrath didn't want to find himself in the middle of his warrior's personal lives.

"You're right, but I didn't think anything was wrong until Qhuinn's little outburst."

"I know. Then when I got up here Blay was waiting on me." Wrath pinched the bridge of his nose, something he always seemed to do when he was stressed.

"Why?" Beth said with concern in her voice.

"He wants space, time away from Qhuinn."

"Really?" Beth was shocked to say the least.

"Blay wants time to rein in his feelings for Qhuinn. I think he's giving up. From what V's said has been going on, maybe he's been rejected one too many times."

"That's a shame. I've been watching them lately and Blay really loves that male. He looks at Qhuinn like Mary looks at Rhage or Marissa looks at Butch," Beth sighed.

"Problem seems to be Qhuinn can't make up his mind."

There was a knock at the door.

"Enter," Wrath said as Beth stood up by his side. He inhaled deeply. "Tohr, just the Brother I wanted to see."

"Is there something I can do for you?" Wrath was very happy to have his close friend back on his feet and ready to help out again.

"When your working on that new schedule try to keep Blay and Qhuinn apart as much as possible."

"Done."

"Good."

"I hope we're doing the right thing." Beth said as the group moved on to other business.


	6. Chapter 6

**I do not own any part of the Black Dagger Brotherhood. All of that greatness is the work of the amazing J R Ward.**

**As of 5-22-12 the wonderful GothicBelle has beta'ed this for me. Hopefully this is now easier to read.**

**I hope everyone enjoys.**

**Chapter Six**

"Spill," Butch said closing the underground door to the Pit.

"Goose me first," V said flopping onto the couch. "Bring the bottle."

Butch carried in two glasses and two bottles for the kitchen. He sat beside V and passed him his Goose. "What's wrong with the boys?"

"What changes have you noticed since the Massacre?" V vastly preferred to hear Butch's voice instead of his own.

"Okay, things since the Massacre. John's good now that Xhex is back and Lash is gone. So you want me to start with Blay or Qhuinn?"

Vishous down his glass in one rough gulp and said, "Blaylock."

"One major thing is he quit with the girls at the club. Another major is he's been drawing into himself more and more as time goes by. He doesn't say much at all anymore, let's Qhuinn do most of the talking now. He's smoking more; FYI Qhuinn hates it. When the boy does talk these days he's even more formal than before. He's been doing a lot of serious training lately." Butch sat back still deep in thought.

"You don't miss much, do you, cop? So what's your gut telling you all this means?" V was sure the former cop, his greatest friend, knew the answer. So he waited.

Butch took a long drawl of his scotch and eyed V before answering. "Blay has came to terms with being gay, a fact we've all know for some time. I also know that he is in love with Qhuinn. What I don't get is why he's hooked up with Saxton. I would say to make Qhuinn jealous, but I just can't see Blay hurting anyone like that. How's that?"

"You're damn good you know that Butch. What you don't know, what has stayed locked up between those three males is what happened on that night after the Massacre. The night Qhuinn became John Matthew's _ahstrux nohtrum_ - he outed Blay. He was cruel about it, threw it in Blay's face. Told him he'd never settle with a male, he wanted a family, wants the _glymera's_ acceptance. Basically told the male to fuck off, that he never wanted to see him again."

"That little shithead. I aught to kick his ass into next week. There ain't no damn reason to handle the situation like that," Butch spat out the words with disgust.

"Butch it's…"

"V, man, you know this shit gets under my skin. And it's only gotten worse since meeting you. I don't think it's right to hold someone's sexuality against them. Everyone has the right to love whoever they want. And Blay would never force himself on Qhuinn. That boy is respectful, generous, and kind. Blay is a true male of worth and at such a young age. There's no reason for the boy to be so cruel."

V didn't think Butch had realized that during his little tirade he had placed his hand on V's thigh. "Butch just because you've always taken things in stride with me and have always been understanding doesn't mean everyone can. Butch, you're a very strong male with an excellent heart and a brilliant mind. That's what's always attracted me to you," V placed his hand over Butch's. When the Brother didn't jerk away he continued. "Qhuinn really loves Blay. He was pushing him away to protect him. Qhuinn thought he was going to his death and didn't want Blay following him. And face it, Blay would follow Qhuinn to hell and back. Qhuinn knew how bad it was hurting him to leave Blay behind and knew if Blay actually had to witness his execution and couldn't do anything it would kill him too." V was shocked that Butch was letting him hold his hand; they hardly touch anymore unless they were doing a cleansing.

"So he does love Blay?"

"Yeah, and he's struggling with it. Qhuinn's scared and insecure and doesn't know what he wants. He's young and a little stupid. The problem is he's sending Blay mixed signals. Essentially Qhuinn is sucking Blay further in the whole time he is trying to push him away. You must understand, even if just a little?" V squeezed Butch's hand as he searched the males face.

V hadn't said anything to Butch or Jane, but on occasions like this here tonight on the couch, he still found himself totally attracted to him. Jane was his _shellan_, his everything and he loved her completely, but he still felt the exact same way about Butch. And right now holding this exquisite male's hand he could completely sympathize with the young Blaylock.

…

Butch looked down and realized he'd been grasping Vishous's thigh for most of the conversation and that the male had been holding that same hand for almost as long.

Butch knew he should remove his hand, but it comforted him. He had thought that after they both were settled with their _shellans_ the stronger of his feeling for Vishous would fade. But they hadn't. '_Fuck, I'm no better that Qhuinn and here I am talkin' trash and ready to lay a smack down on him.'_ He looked a V's face. "So then what's the thing with Saxton?"

"Saxton was a misstep. Blay was trying to move on. He was trying to do what Qhuinn wanted. Blay would have never taken it as far as he did, but Qhuinn pushed one too many times."

"So Blay and Saxton actually fucked, even after Qhuinn had left his scent all over him?"

"Qhuinn acts like that never happened and Blay's hurt, bad hurt. A male can do some stupid shit when he's hurting."

All this was hitting too close to home for Butch. He moved to pour himself another scotch and realized that at some point he had turned his hand over and now his and V's fingers were laced together. It was a beautiful sight, such a loving gesture. He looked up and his eyes locked with V's. Those diamond eyes with the lovely navy colored rings took his breath away. V was looking at him the way he had in the Brothers Cave all those months ago.

And Butch knew now the same thing he knew then; he could never deny V anything. Just thank the Virgin herself that Vishous didn't know that.

'_This is it,' _Butch thought as V leaned toward him. Suddenly V was standing, their hands breaking apart. Butch shook his head clear and notice the door opening.

"Hey, Butch," Jane said moving for Vishous. "Your sister is going to be the death of me," she giggled wrapping her arms around her _hellern_.

V hugged her close and turned with her in his arms. Butch's eyes met his again and saw a hint of guilt. Butch let out a long breath knowing once again he had lucked out and avoided the inevitable.

…

Phury entered the office of the training center and smiled at the sight of Tohr sitting at the desk in that ugly old green monstrosity of a chair. "Tohr, you wanted to speak to me?"

"Yeah, I'm having problems with this new schedule. I know you and Z are great together, but he's been doing really well with Hollywood," Tohr paused like he was searching for the right words.

"I'm proud of him," Phury said. "Tohr you know I can work with anyone. I just want to be out there helping again."

"Wrath wants Blay to go out with me, but it's just not working. Do you mind working with him?"

"Not at all. So Wrath was serious about splitting up the threesome?"

"We want to keep Blay and Qhuinn apart as much as possible without Qhuinn knowing."

"Is this about the bonding scent?" Z had told him that a few day's ago Blay had come down stairs with Qhuinn's bonding scent all over him.

"Some what, we want to keep this as quite as possible?"

"You have my solemn word, what is the problem?" Phury could see the problem having a bonded male in the field with his mate. Boy could really get himself hurt. Bonded males weren't known for their brains.

"Blay asked the King for this."

"Smart male."

…

"Your Majesty, thank you for agreeing to this audience," Saxton said with a bow.

"Let's just get to the point," the King said.

"I want to stay on here."

"No."

"I can be very helpful, my Lord."

"Still, no."

"There is so much I can do for you and the Brotherhood." Saxton was use to having to plead his case and was not going to give up so easily.

"You can do that without living here. I appreciate everything you've done, but you being here is a disaster waiting to happen."

"But I want to help and, on a personal level, I think Blay could really use a friend right now." Sax figured he might as well be level with the male.

"I thought the boy had more to do with this than your eagerness to help the crown. Blay is why you can't be here. V told me about this morning. It's just a piss poor idea." It sounded like the King had already thought this through and was set against him staying.

"But, with all due respect, your Majesty, Blay really needs someone to talk too and who will understand what he's going through."

"I'm not cutting off your contact with him. I agree with you he needs your friendship. But you can't stay here. From what V says you would just cause a bigger rift between them. Blay wants to be separated from Qhuinn. Help with that." Saxton was amazed that the King and the Brothers were that concerned for Blay.

"If this is your order I have no choice." Saxton was not happy, he was positive that he would be more useful here within the mansion.

"Blay has the Brothers here within these walls; he needs a link to the outside world. He's too young to let himself get too deep into all this. He's a great warrior and an asset to the Brotherhood, but if this thing with Qhuinn doesn't work out, he's going to need something more in his life. Help him remember there is life outside these walls."

"Your Majesty, I hope that our people hurry up and come to their senses and realize just how wise you are. It is the greatest honor of my live to serve you." The King of their race could be truly amazing.


	7. Chapter 7

**I do not own any part of the Black Dagger Brotherhood. All of that greatness is the work of the amazing J R Ward.**

**As of 5-22-12 the wonderful GothicBelle has beta'ed this for me. Hopefully this is now easier to read.**

**I hope everyone enjoys.**

**Chapter Seven**

It had been a month since King Wrath had implemented Tohr's new schedule for the Brotherhood and their warriors. At the same time his Majesty had also denied Saxton's request to stay in the Brotherhood's mansion. He proclaimed only the Brothers and their _shellans_, their warriors, and the _doggen_ would be allowed to live in the mansion.

Blay had spoken to Sax a few times on the phone. They were always short calls. Saxton seemed to be keeping his word about being friends. He just called to check up on Blay. He was worried about him feeling guilty and that he might become depressed. He tried to politely hint to Sax that the calls were a bad idea.

Blay always felt most guilty after one of Saxton's calls. Just talking to the male made him think about that fateful day and made the guilt fresh again. The day after Sax and Blay had been together, Blay woke knowing that there was no one in this world for him but Qhuinn and that he would never have him.

Qhuinn wanted a _normal _life. To him, loving Blay was just another thing that the _glymera_ would hold against him. Blay understood his need for the acceptance of the _glymera_; his parents and siblings never cared for him and never respected him. Making the _glymera _accept him would be equal to his family accepting him. Blay just wished his acceptance, his love was enough.

Honestly Blay had always thought himself pretty normal. Well except for loving Qhuinn. Society says loving another male is wrong, but how could something that felt so right and filled his heart with such joy be wrong. The happiest moments of Blay short life had been the times Qhuinn had kissed him. Blay would never forget how soft yet firm Qhuinn's lips were on his. How demanding and devastatingly gentle at the same time. Qhuinn was fire and passion. He was proud and honorable. He was a strong and fierce warrior; and a devoted and protective friend. He was loyal through and through. He was an awesome male. He had his faults too but everything good about him far out weighed the rest in Blay's eyes.

That is why it was necessary to stay away from the male as much as he could. It was a very good thing that since the schedule change he had only to see Qhuinn once a week plus meals and Brotherhood meetings. They had only exchanged a hand full of words all month.

Blay now sat between Xhex and Tohr at every meal. Blay had been spending a lot of time with the Brothers Butch, Tohr, and Phury. Blay patrolled twice a week with Phury and twice a week with Tohr. His once a week with Qhuinn was with Phury and not John Matthew. Phury set a fast pace on the nights the three went out together that left little room for talking. Blay knew this was for his benefit.

Blay spent some of his down time down in the Pit with Butch and V. Butch had invited him back to the Pit one night after training him on the computers. V had told him he could hang there anytime he felt crowded at the big house. In the three weeks he had frequented the Pit, V hadn't spoke another word to him, but Butch on the other hand never shut up. Blay was grateful to both Brothers.

On nights when he and Phury patrolled together, the Primale entertained him with stories of the Chosen. He also gave Blay an opportunity to discuss things he couldn't with the others. Phury had a way of listening that was like no one else he had ever met. The male really listened and if he said something you really paid attention. His talks with Phury helped to ease his heart.

As a step in reestablishing himself Blay had started calling his parents again. Just weekly on one of his nights in. The calls were helping to center him again. Over the past month Blay had realized out side of fighting, his life had started to rotate around Qhuinn. His highs and lows and everything in-between were a direct result of the other male.

Blay was doing several things to help establish him as an individual. Separate from Qhuinn and John Matthew. He found that he actually enjoyed doing the reports because it made him feel useful. He even helped on his nights off. Butch could always use the help and Rhage never missed a chance to pass the buck when it came to paperwork.

He and Queen Beth had even talked the King into recycling. He set things up with the recycling centers and set the _doggen_ into action. Blay love being useful and reducing the Brotherhood's carbon foot print was an excellent way to accomplish it. He and the _doggen_ had a mini recycling center in the garage. He hadn't seen the _doggen_ this happy in years.

The only problem was if he didn't keep moving and stay busy he missed Qhuinn terribly. If he was left to himself for more than an hour or so the pain became a physical ache in the center of his chest. The days were still awfully bad. He always dreamed of Qhuinn. He couldn't decide which were worse: the dreams that left him panting with an erection; the ones that left him crying because of rejection; or the ones that left him sobbing with loss.

Ever since he had stopped going out with Qhuinn and John Matthew every night he had horrible nightmares where he envisioned Qhuinn dying. In his dreams it was always his fault that Qhuinn died. It was always because Blay wasn't there to protect him while he protected John Matthew. Blay always woke from these dreams crying and shaking. His breathing would be labored and he always found himself calling Qhuinn's room just to make sure he was alive. He always hung up quickly without saying anything. He knew this angered Qhuinn but he couldn't help himself. Qhuinn may not want him, he may not want to want Qhuinn, he may have managed to remove Qhuinn as the center of his world, but truth was the male was his heart and always would be. Qhuinn was his _pyrocant_, his weakness.

Tonight was the first time in a month that he would be going out with Qhuinn and John Matthew. Xhex was traveling to the _sympath_ colony with King Rehvenge. Blay found that he was very nervous as he went down for First Meal. When he reached the dinning hall he saw that there was no place for him between Xhex and Tohr, but a chair was left open between Mary and Qhuinn.

…

Qhuinn couldn't believe his luck. Tonight he was hitting the streets with his boys for the first time in like **forever**. And hopefully he and Blay could talk. He had never thought of himself as much of a talker, but with Blay avoiding him, he desperately missed the male's voice. Hell he missed everything about him, the way he looked and even the way he smelled. Nothing felt right without Blay at his side.

Qhuinn was beginning to realize that his heart was overriding his brain and in the process ruining all his dreams. His mind insisted that he should be finding a female to mate and have young with. A female of high standing that would improve his status with the _glymera_ and wouldn't Layla be perfect. He had tried again to give Layla what she wanted last week when he had fed. The Scribe Virgin only knew how hard this was for Layla. The female had made it very clear that she wanted sex with him. But he just couldn't, no matter how many times she threw herself at him. He could kiss her, but her body just didn't do anything for him. He was having the similar problem with the girls at the clubs. And the reason being his heart had won the battle and as long as he took the females from behind and kept his hands away from their breast, he could pretend they were Blay. And he couldn't fool himself anymore; the male was all he wanted.

Qhuinn was afraid this was going to be the hardest on Layla. He wanted to talk to Blay tonight, but before he tried to move on Blay, he needed to tell Layla and arrange for another Chosen to feed on. He knew Blay was feeding on another Chosen; maybe they could go back to sharing. The idea made him smile.

He also had to find out more about Blay's and Sax's relationship. Sax was his favorite family member and he was the only family Qhuinn had left, but when it came to Blay it was every male for himself. And Blay was **his**. He had tried to get Sax to blab to him, but the male was made of steel and insisted if Qhuinn wanted to know any details he would just have to talk to Blay. Sax could be a real hard ass when he wanted too, that's what made him such a great attorney. He really hoped that Sax and he could survive a battle for Blay, because Qhuinn planed to win and he'd play dirty if he had to.

The first part of his plan almost brought him and Xhex to blows. Qhuinn had came down early for First Meal and had purposely placed himself so that Blay would have to sit by him. John had come in so engrossed in his conversation with Z, he just sat by Qhuinn and never noticed the change. It wasn't until Xhex and Tohr came in that anyone realized what he had done.

"Qhuinn you need to move down a chair," Xhex said.

"No, we're good," Qhuinn could tell by the look on her face she knew he had done this on purpose and that she disapproved.

"She's right, Qhuinn, we're a chair short. We need a spot for Blay," Tohr commented, taking his seat beside King Rehvenge. The others already at the table were starting to take notice. Butch and Z were flat out staring at him.

John signed, '_Move down one._'

"You're not my boss; he can sit by me tonight."

"That's not what he wants," Xhex said moving closer to him. She was pissed. '_Bitch!'_

"How do you know? You're not his best friend, _**I am**_," He didn't like it when others thought they knew Blay better than him. '_No one knows my boy like me, no one.'_

Xhex got in his face, "So, he's just been sitting down here between me and Tohr for no good reason."

"He just wants to get to know you better, you are John's _shellan_."

"Fine, Mr. I-Know-Every-Damn-Thing, why then when he is **forced **to go on patrol with you he never talks to you?" He didn't like the way she said forced. It almost made it sound like Blay was avoiding him on purpose. '_Would Blay really do that?'_

"Phury doesn't allow it," this was something that he never really understood.

"Phury's just trying to make it easier on him, cause you can be such a total dickhead," she practically spit at him. He jumped from his chair, going nose to nose with her. He heard a few gasp from the ladies and several chairs scrapping.

King Wrath chose that moment to enter. "That's enough. Everyone sit down. No, Xhex, by John. Blay is a male, he can handle this. He doesn't need us to caudle him anymore."

'_Anymore? What the hell did that mean?' _Qhuinn had missed something big in the past few weeks.

"Thank you, your Majesty," Blay's voice came from the doorway. Qhuinn couldn't see him because the King was blocking his view, but he heard the tension in Blay's sweet voice.

The King and Queen moved to the head of the table and Blay took the empty chair. '_By me, were he belongs. Funny I was never like this when it was just John between us.'_

The meal started and Blay never even glanced his way. Something really was bothering him. Qhuinn waited and tried to catch the male's eyes for as long as he could. But finally decided to just speak. "How's Sax?"

"Fine, I suppose," Blay answered, but still did not look at him.

"What have you two been up too? You haven't been back to that fucked up cigar bar, have you?" Blay looked over at him and honestly looked a little shocked. '_Damn, I sound like a fucking chick.'_

"No," was all he said as he glanced on down the table. "Xhex, is it just tonight or are you going to be gone longer?"

"Hopefully just the one night," she said. There was something Qhuinn had never seen in her eyes before as she spoke to Blay. He wasn't sure the exact emotion she was conveying, but it was such a knowing look that it had Qhuinn jealous.

"We're going up as soon as the meal is done and I plan to have everything done and set by sunset tomorrow so we can be back by First Meal," Rehv stated from his seat at the end of the table. He and Wrath, the two warrior kings, made a fearsome pair of bookends for the Brotherhood table. Awe inspiring.

"Then we should be able to continue patrols as usual tomorrow night," this came from Phury. Qhuinn looked at the Primale remembering what Xhex had said. Phury avoided his gaze and looked at his twin. "You want to fill in for Blay tonight?"

"Bella?" Z looked at his _shellan_.

"Sounds lovely, you two don't get to spend enough time together," she said with a smile.

Qhuinn took the opportunity to speak to Blay again. "So, Sax treating you good?"

"I do not want to discuss Saxton with you," Blay stated. The look in his eyes worried him.

"He do something to you?" Qhuinn was worried and furious at the same time. "I'll hurt him if he did." '_Fuck that I'll _**kill**_ him if he did.'_

"I said I am not discussing him with you!" Blay threw his napkin in his plate and stood. "John text me when you're ready to go. Everyone, I apologize, now if you'll excuse me?" Blay waited for his King to nod his approval before leaving.

Qhuinn started to follow when he heard a chorus of voices say, "Sit!"

If he had any doubts about who the voices belonged to, he knew when he turned around. King Wrath had stood along with the Brothers, Tohr, Butch, V, and Phury, plus Xhex and John. "Sit back down until John has finished, Qhuinn," his King ordered. "Then you will go straight to your room and get ready for patrol. Then wait down here in the pool room until ya'll are ready to patrol. Understood?"

"Yes, sir." Qhuinn dropped back in his chair. He would obey but he didn't have to be happy about and he didn't have to make it easy either. "What the fuck's wrong with you guys anyways? You all act like you have to protect him?"

"Maybe we do," said Xhex, "at least from you."

"What the fuck? He's my boy. I'd never hurt him." Now he was pissed.

"But you have," this came from Phury.

"What?" Qhuinn hadn't thought they knew.

"Of course we knew." V said.

"Stay the fuck out of my head," Qhuinn shouted at the brother. "It was for his own good."

"Really?" Even Butch's Marissa had something to say. "Shouldn't that be his choice?"

Qhuinn was on his feet again. "You know what? This is none of you guys' business. This is between Blay and me. If he needs protecting, he's mine to protect."

"So prove it?" This was from Butch of all people.

That's it! He had had it, he slammed his fist into the wall and said, "Fuck this shit! I'm going to my room." Qhuinn quickly hit the stairs and figured he would tell Fritz sorry later. He had to be alone.


	8. Chapter 8

**I do not own any part of the Black Dagger Brotherhood. All of that greatness is the work of the amazing J R Ward.**

**As of 5-22-12 the wonderful GothicBelle has beta'ed this for me. Hopefully this is now easier to read.**

**I hope everyone enjoys.**

**Chapter Eight**

John hadn't been this pissed since Xhex had been missing and he sure hadn't wanted to feel this way so soon again. Two hours on the streets with Qhuinn and Blay and he was so mad at them that he wanted to knock their heads together just to get some peace.

Two hours of listening to Blay shut Qhuinn down. John didn't blame him though. Blay had been working really hard the past few weeks to put his feelings for Qhuinn behind him. John had spent a few hours with Blay while Qhuinn did his reports. It's the only real time the two spent together anymore.

Blay had told John about the balcony and what Qhuinn had said the first evening they had talked. But the heartbreaking truth had come out the last time they had spent time together. John and Blay had been hold up in Blay's room knocking back shots of Jack and chasing them with Coronas. Near dawn the subject of conversation had once again made its way around to Qhuinn.

Blay was pretty blitzed, "John you realize just how bad I got it for that asshole?"

John just shakes his head and lets Blay go on. Venting seems to help him some and John hates to see him suffer. Qhuinn and Blay were family to him and even though they all couldn't go back to the way it was before, John had hope that things would improve.

"I've got it so fucking bad that, that day I spent with Saxton, when I came I called out Qhuinn's name," Blay paused noticing the look on John's face. "Man, sorry, TMI. I shouldn't have said that. You don't want to hear the details of my love life or lack there of."

"_It's not that,_" John signed. "_It's just, Blay, that's a really big deal. You should have said something sooner. I'm your friend I love you like a brother and no matter what I want you to talk to me. I know it's hard and I'm sure you don't want to put me in the middle of you and Qhuinn, but you can't hold this all in. You can't keep everything to yourself. You're hurting and that hurts me, it hurts all of us. Me, Xhex, the Brothers and even the _shellans _care about you. We want you happy. I'll always be here for you; you can always talk to me. Even the sexual stuff._"

"I know, I love you too, it's just," Blay took another shot. John didn't want to push him, but God this was killing him. He felt so bad for Blay. If this kept up much longer Blay would be dead on the inside. "You know what John? I think his eyes are beautiful. They are so bright and clear and sharp. Just like an emerald and a sapphire. Brilliant and faceted. Flawlessly gorgeous. I envision them every night before I drift off to sleep."

Blay paused for another shot and sip. John's heart ached for him. Sometimes he actually wished for Qhuinn to be gay. To just open his eyes one evening and realize Blay was the one, the answer to everything. '_Funny I never wish that Blay was straight. Blay and Qhuinn just seemed perfect together._' John knew it wasn't right to think that way. He loved both his friends and he would take them just as they were. He could no more wish Qhuinn gay than he would wish Blay straight. '_You are what you are and sometimes life just sucks,_' he thought.

"You know how fucking pathetic I am?" Blay was gearing up again. John never tried signing once he got like this. It was best to just let him get it all out. "Last night while Phury and I were out on patrol, we walked past this jewelry shop and a set of cuff links caught my eye. Why? Because they reminded me of him. They were two rectangle cut gems. An emerald and a sapphire set side by side in a lovely black reminded me of his hair and his eyes. I bought them without thinking. I can't wait until I have to explain that charge to Dad. We're in the middle of a war and I bought a pair of fucking cuffs. Real mature. I'm such a waste of space."

He took another shot and finished off his Corona. John hated it when Blay put himself down like that. He was used to that shit from Qhuinn, but it worried him so much more coming from Blay.

"They're in my night stand. The cuffs. I spent two hours today staring at them and thinking of him before I went to sleep. I dream about him every damn day." Another shot and swig from a new Corona. Blay leaned forward onto his knees and put his head in his hands. He started crying. "I'm trying as hard as I can John, but I love him so goddamn much."

John got out of his chair and pulled Blay into his arms. He just held him and let him cry. When it got too much for Blay to stand John lead him to the bed and helped him in. John took his friend's boots off and covered him up. Then John climbed onto the bed beside him and rubbed Blay's back until he fell asleep.

John didn't know how many more of those nights he could take. Or worse how many more nights like that Blay could take. He knew Blay was sinking into depression, no matter how good of a front he was putting on. He was sure Blay knew it too. John was positive that was why Blay had been avoiding talking to Mary. The King had told him that he wanted Blay to have a few sessions with Mary. '_I'll have to say something to Wrath,'_ he thought.

'_Oh hell no.'_ John's attention was brought back to the present. Qhuinn was going to try to speak with Blay again. Some how and John didn't know how it was possible, but Qhuinn didn't know that Blay and Sax had ended things. For some reason Blay had never set the guy straight.

"Blay, I talked to Sax a couple of days ago and he was being all cryptic when I asked how you were doing. Now I don't know if it was because I'm your best friend and he thought I should know or you had a good reason for me not to know, **or** there's something up with you two. Which is it, Blaylock?"

Qhuinn waited a few steps before speaking again. "Blay you remember that promise I made you that night, I meant every word. You just say the word and that cousin of mine is toast. Family or not, you come first."

'_Damn,'_ John thought, _'If I didn't know better I'd say Qhuinn sounded like a bonded male.'_

"Shit," Blay snapped as he faced off with Qhuinn, "How many fucking times do I have to tell you I can take care of my own damn self. I don't know if you've ever fucking notice, but I'm just as much a male as you are."

"Of course I've noticed," Qhuinn sounded a little weird when he said that and before John could blink Blay had pinned Qhuinn to the brick wall. Thank the Virgin they were in a dark and empty alley.

"You fucking asshole," Blay yelled. "Just because I'm gay doesn't make me less of a male than you. Just because you don't want me doesn't make me less of a male than you. There are males out there who would have me if I wanted. Sax wanted me, probably still does. FYI, dickhead, I dropped him. Period. It was a nice fucking one night stand, but he's not the male for me. So you can just. Back. The. Fuck. Off."

'_Shit Blay had lost it, he had finally snapped.'_ John had never seen Blay this mad. He had Qhuinn pinned by the collar and was only an inch away from the males face. He was breathing in short little breathes, almost panting really. John had never seen him like this. He looked deadly.

"You're not dating Sax?" Qhuinn looked stunned.

"Can you not fucking hear?"

"Then where have you been? What have you been doing?"

Blay let go of him like he was on fire and backed across the alley. In a painful whisper he said, "Avoiding you," he looked at John. John saw the tears in his eyes. "I'm going home."

…

Blay dematerialized. Qhuinn couldn't breath. He just sank to the filthy ground. He wrapped his arms around his knees and hung his head. His best friend, the one true love of his life, had gone through extreme measures to remove him from his life. He could feel his heart shattering into a million pieces. His chest hurt like someone had just stuck their hand in and ripped his heart out. The someone had been Blaylock. His precious, beautiful Blaylock had just reached into his chest and with just two words from his stunning mouth ripped his very heart out with his glorious voice. Qhuinn had wanted Blay to talk to him, but not this. He had been looking for hope, not cold cruel hatred.

"John go home, I've got him. Get Butch to help with Blay. This may have been too much. Go. Now," Qhuinn heard the voice through his fog of pain. He knew it was a Brother. He didn't care. He didn't know which one it was, but it didn't matter. Nothing mattered. He had lost Blay forever; there was nothing to live for.

"You haven't lost him yet. Look at me, talk to me."

Qhuinn raised his head. The male was Vishous. He had such an off look on his face, one Qhuinn had never seen before. He looked so different that he almost didn't recognize him. V looked like he cared.

"I do care. You're on of us. We take care of our own. I'm really not as big of a hardass as I pretend to be," V sat beside him. "Come on talk to me. I can actually be understanding. Maybe even helpful."

Qhuinn just sat there still too shocked to know what to say, where to start.

"However, one thing I'm not, **boy** is very patient. So spit something out already."

"I fucked up royally."

"Now, we're talking."

"I love him, I really fucking love him."

"I know."

"He hates me."

"He loves you," V smirked at him. "He **really**fucking loves you."

"He hates me. He's been avoiding me. You guys have been helping him." Qhuinn was seeing the last month in a whole new light. Everyone had been helping Blay, keeping the two apart. Keeping him in the dark about Sax. Hiding Blay from him.

"It was his way of surviving," V said.

"Surviving?"

"You kept pushing him away. You practically sacrificed him to Saxton. Which was a disaster by the way."

"What happened?"

"Ask Blay, I am so not going there."

"He's avoiding me, remember?"

"Surviving, **remember** ?

"I still don't get it."

"You didn't want him. You threw that fact in his face, repeatedly. There's no one else he wants."

"What?" Qhuinn was beginning to think that he was blinder than the King.

"Blay loves you. He can't move on cause there's no one else for him. He is trying to do what you wanted. Trying to do what is best. He thinks you don't love him. He is trying to stop himself from loving you. It's not working though. I've been where he is. . . no, I **am** where he is. Loving a male desperately with all his heart and not able to do anything about it. He can try moving on, may even find another to love. But I've seen the way he looks at you. He will always love you no matter what. So if you want him you better hurry up and do something and prove your love. Cause believe me if you don't try you will regret it forever. I can guarantee you one thing if you love him half as much as I think you do, even if you find the perfect _shellan_ and love her; you'll never stop loving him. No matter how hard you try. Never."

Qhuinn needed to talk to Blay. He needed to win his love back, because he never wanted to look into a mirror and see the sorrow and pain and regret in his own reflection that he had just seen on Vishous's face.

…

John rematerialized in front of the Pit. He pounded the door.

Butch ripped the door open and looked at John, "Oh God, is it V?"

"_No, no one's hurt. At least not injured. It's Blay, V said to get you._"

"What happened?" Butch asked as they headed for the house.

"_He and Qhuinn had a fight. Sort of._" John didn't want to waste time explaining. Sometimes he wished he could talk because this stopping to sign was shitty when there was an emergency.

Butch didn't say anything else until they reached Blay's room. It was empty.

"_He said he was coming home. I thought he would be here._"

"It's okay. Let's get back to the Pit. The Four Toys will find him."

They raced back to the computers. As Butch fired up the security cams he slid a pad and pen to John. "Tell me everything."

John wrote it all out as fast as he could.

"Look, he's at the pool. Man, he doesn't look good. Let me see that." Butch took the pad and read. "Shit, shit, shit."

Butch stood and paced as John watch Blay do the same on the screen.

"John I know he's your friend, but when V says something, it's always for a reason. I'm going to go talk to the male. I want you to go tell the King what happened in the alley and that V stayed behind and that I'm on Blay."

"_Can do. Just help them. This is tearing us all apart._"

"I'm going to do my best, John. I know outside of those two you are hurting the most, but this is hurting the whole Brotherhood. We think of you three as one of us you know."

"_Thank you._"

…

Blay couldn't go inside. He couldn't breathe. He just kept pacing around the pool. He couldn't believe he had just hurt Qhuinn like that. He was an ass, but he didn't deserve that. He had wanted to take the words back as soon as he had said them. No matter how bad he hurt, he had no right to take it out on Qhuinn. It was not his fault that he didn't love Blay. There was no changing that fact and it was Blay's own fault for hoping it would change. Blay looked in the pool and wondered if he could actually drown himself. He just couldn't do that to his parents. Maybe he could find a pack of _lessers _to do him in. Would that still be suicide? Probably. Couldn't do it then. He had to make it to the Fade for his parents' sake. Blay didn't know how long he'd felt this bad but it had to stop before he did something stupid.

"Need some one to talk to?" Butch asked as he walked up. "You sure look like you need a friend right now." He sat at one of the glass patio tables.

"Hi, Butch," Blay wasn't sure where to start.

"Take your time," Butch was a lot better at this stuff than the others gave him credit for. "We've got all night."

Blay was so grateful that Butch had shown up. Butch was a good male to have for a friend. He could talk your ear off about nothing at all when you needed a distraction, and then, like now, he could just sit and be patient and listen. V was lucky to have him.

"I'm a monster. A hateful prick. A total bastard," he just blurted out.

"Why don't you tell me what happened?"

"I can't. I'll just get more upset."

"I think you need to tell me if we're going to get anywhere."

"I was just horrible to Qhuinn. He said something and I just went crazy. I was afraid of something like this. It's why I try not to talk to him. I try not to be anywhere near him."

"What happened? What did you say?"

"We were out on patrol with John. You knew that, though. I was trying to avoiding speaking to him, but he just wouldn't give up tonight. I kept shutting him out. It was making me feel awful and guilty and finally I was getting angry."

"Angry at what?"

"Angry at him, at me, at the whole damn world. I'm so fucking tired of it all. I can't be near him because I can't stop loving him. He doesn't love me, I know that, he's told me that more than once and I still can't stop it. I know he just wants to go back to the way things were before the cave, but I can't. I can't love him like this and do that anymore. I should have never made him out me; I should have just let him leave, no matter how bad it felt. If I had just taken the pain then and kept on pretending, we wouldn't be in this mess now."

Butch slammed his fist on the table. "You quit laying this all on yourself right now. This isn't your entire fault. Qhuinn played his part too, didn't he? He made the choice to out you and change the dynamics of your relationship. And he did more didn't he?"

"He kissed me. The night of the Massacre, down in the training center. But it was my fault, I asked him to. He had been treating my cuts and I kept thinking now that he knew maybe if he just kissed me it would change things. I'm stupid when it comes to him. I always hope that he'll love me too and I know it's unfair of me, but I do."

"It was still his choice. He didn't have to kiss you. That wasn't the only time though, was it? Over a month ago, that night you went out with Saxton, you came down stairs smelling of Qhuinn's bonding scent." Butch sure didn't throw his punches.

"I… well… he… I thought it was our turning point. When he had came into my room I just knew he wanted me as much as I wanted him. He pinned me against the dresser and kissed me. My pants were around my ankles and I just knew this was it. I thought I smelled his scent, but then he let me go and just walked off. Just left me there like a pansy ass. I thought the bonding was all in my head. I had wanted him so much that I had imagined it. Fuck, it was real?" Blay fell onto a lawn chair. He put his head down to hide his tears from Butch.

"Blay," Butch had moved to sit by the male and wrapped his arm around him. "Blay, it was real. We believe Qhuinn does love you. You just have to let him figure it out. He is going to have to give up a few of his dreams to be with you. And believe me that can be hard. I know from experience. You are going to have to give him time."

"You're wrong, Butch. He doesn't love me. He told me 'to take care of myself'. In Qhuinn speak that means I'm done with you and I never want to be with you again. It's his favorite send off for his one night stands, though I never got the benefit of being one. You know I've never seen him turn sex down. He has fucked every female and male that's come his way but me," Blay was pissed again and on his feet again pacing.

"Blay calm down. He loves you. I can see it. You have to give him a chance. He hates himself because he thinks he's different. Not good enough for you. I can tell, I've been there. When I was human I was tore up inside. I didn't think I belonged here and I knew I couldn't go back. I wasn't good enough for the Brothers, I wasn't good enough Marissa, and I didn't even think I was good enough for V and I had no idea why he should care so much for me. I got the easy way out. I got to transition and that solved a lot of problems for me. Though now I know I imagined those problems. I now know the Brother's consider me one of them even when I was human. Marissa loved me even though I was just a human. V has stood by me since the night I brought Beth to the Townhouse. But just like Qhuinn I couldn't see past what I saw wrong with myself. You have to give him time."

Blay wanted to believe him, he really did. "Butch, I can't, I just can't. I can't be rejected again. I can't do it. It's killing me. Look at me. I was just standing by the pool a few minutes ago thinking about drowning myself. How can you ask me to wait? I can't. I have to leave here. Leave the Brotherhood. I'll find another way to help with the war. I won't survive if I stay here."

Butch got to his feet and took Blay by the shoulders, "You can't leave. You have to stay. We need you. He needs you. You can't give up on him."

"I have to give up; I could have killed him tonight. If he rejects me again I **will** die. I'm dying inside all the time. I have to leave."

"You can't. If you love him like you say you have to stay. You have to fight for him. You have to," Butch was yelling and pleading and his grip was bruising Blay's shoulders.

"Why?" Blay cried.

"Because if you don't you'll wind up like V and me. Never knowing what would have been. Always wanting someone you can't have. Never finding peace. Feeling guilty all the time. Loving two people with your whole heart rips your soul to pieces."

Blay hugged the male for all he was worth. They both cried. Blay knew now he couldn't give up on Qhuinn. He couldn't let either of them become like Butch. He had to put his feelings away and help Qhuinn accept himself, and then maybe he could love him. And even if he didn't come to love him, Blay was going to make sure no matter who Qhuinn chose in life he would be whole to love them. "I'll stay, for him, I'll stay," he whispered to Butch.

Butch stepped back. "This stays between us, kid."

"Never thought otherwise," Blay answered.

"Good…"Butch stopped, hearing a scream from the front of the mansion.

"Fritz… Fritz… Help…"


	9. Chapter 9

**I do not own any part of the Black Dagger Brotherhood. All of that greatness is the work of the amazing J R Ward.**

**As of 5-22-12 the wonderful GothicBelle has beta'ed this for me. Hopefully this is now easier to read.**

**I hope everyone enjoys.**

**Chapter Nine**

Fritz had never moved so fast in his life, but still he wasn't fast enough.

He had just let Master Qhuinn into the foyer when alarms started going off all over the place. He ran back to the monitors and there she was standing in the middle of the courtyard. His former mistress stood there looking like a goddess.

His heart stopped, something was wrong. He bolted for the door, but his old bones weren't fast enough. By the time he made it through the outside door, Master Vishous was already blocking the path to her.

"I need to speak to Fritz, now please," her lovely voice requested. Even in a time like this she stayed poised and proper, his former Master would be proud.

…

"Fritz…Fritz…Help."

Syhren knew she was at the Mansion. She had to be, they had test this a thousand times. She could only dematerialize to two places, the front of the Mansion and the back yard of the safe house. The only two places she had ever seen before her transition. '_Just calm down and give him some time,' _she thought.

"Fritz…someone help," she called out again. A person stepped into her line of vision. A male, a huge male, with a tortured soul, all dark and sad colors. "Help," she shouted again.

Suddenly he was right in front of her. "Who are you?" He barked.

If he was trying to intimidate her it wasn't going to work. She stood tall and straight with her head held high. "I am Syhren and I need to speak to Fritz, now please," she was trained to exhibit a calm exterior at all times. To always have good manners, "And your name, Sir?"

The highly aggressive male was crowding into her personal space. He growled, "V."

That explained a lot and she had been taught knowledge was power. "It is a great honor to meet the Brother Vishous. You are a great warrior of the species, but it is imperative that I speak with the _doggen_, Fritz as soon as possible." She was careful in choosing her words, wanting to show as much respect as she could. She had been taught that Vishous was a harsh individual and was quick to judge others. '_I will not show fear.'_

"Lady, you ain't talking to no one until I know who you are and were you came from." He was going to make this difficult and waste what precious time she had. '_I will hold my temper, I will stay calm.' _This was a mantra she told herself often when she was younger.

"I told you, I am Syhren," she started again not knowing how much she should reveal to him. She had always been kept separated from everything in her _hellern's_ life and since Vishous had not recognized her name she assume the Brothers were never told of her existence.

"Master Vishous please step away from the lady Syhren." Thank the Scribe Virgin it was Fritz's voice. Bless the _doggen_.

"Not a chance Fritz. We have no idea who she is or how she was able to get here?"

"Lady Syhren lived here before King Wrath inherited it, sire," Fritz said that as if it would solve the whole problem.

"Fritz, there are _lessers_ attacking my home as we speak. I came for help."

"What?" Both males spoke at once.

"Tolliver and I took out the first group, but it won't take long before more come," she needed their help and fast. She needed to get back before more _lessers_ came again.

"Fritz, take her inside. I'll get the guys together," Vishous said.

"The address is 13 Everwood Way, Fritz tell him anything he needs to know. I'm going back," she put ever bit of authority she could into her words.

"The hell you are," Vishous reached for her.

"Sorry," she said as she stepped into him and kneed him in the groin as hard as she could. The air left his lungs and he dropped to his knees. "My young are back there." She grabbed his head and slammed it down as she brought her knee up into his face. There was an awful crunching sound as his nose broke. There were shouts from all over and she could hear people coming at her. She quickly took the guns from the Brother's holsters. "Fritz, have them hurry." She turned and disappeared.

…

Zsadist couldn't believe what he had just seen. He had been in the garage when he had heard a female yelling from outside and the alarms had started. Z ran out to the drive. He watched as V approached the female and talked to her. She was obviously of the _glymera_; her speech was elegant and very controlled. She was dressed in a full length sheath. It was lavender and shimmered in the flood lights. Z was directly behind her, so he couldn't see her face. Her hair was black like onyx and fell in shiny waves to just above her knees. She was high class indeed.

She had already asked twice to see Fritz by the time he joined them. He called her by name and that was interesting. V was being unnecessarily rude, par for course though. The wind shifted and carried her scent to him. She smelled of _lesser_ blood and vampire blood. He didn't see any wounds on her; maybe it was the vampire she had left behind. V reached for her.

Z started forwards, but the female moved so quickly that everything didn't register until after she was gone. She moved fast with a finesse and fierceness that he would later appreciate. In two quick strikes Vishous was face down in the dirt. She turned toward Z holding both of V's guns. She was good. She was gone. He had never seen a female move like that. He was impressed.

He hadn't been the only witness. Butch and Blay had come around the side of the mansion and Qhuinn, Tohr, Mary, and Beth and Wrath had come for inside. Everyone was talking at once.

Butch was helping V to his feet. Qhuinn had moved to Blay's side, both looked like shit. Beth and Mary stayed close to the door and were talking to each other. Tohr was lighting up his cell. John Matthew just came out followed by Bella. Zsadist crossed the drive and took her hand. Rhage appeared by the front door.

Wrath was talking to Fritz. "Shut up," he yelled. "Fritz, what's go on?"

"Master, we need to get to 13 Everwood Way right now. The Brothers have to go now. Lady Syhren's house is being attacked by _lessers._" Fritz was panicking.

"What happened to V?" Rhage asked.

"Got his ass handed to him by a chick," Qhuinn answered.

"She surprised me," V complained.

Z spoke up, "She was bleeding. I could smell her blood, but couldn't see a wound from where I was. I also smelled _lesser_ blood."

"It was on the hem of her gown," Blay said. "About an inch of it was black. I saw it when she kneed V in the face."

"She was bleeding on her left side. High up in her rib area, she was covering it with her right hand until she moved on V," Butch reported. That cop never missed a damn thing.

"She has his guns, too," Z said. Phury appeared off to the left.

"Sires," Fritz interrupted, "We have to hurry. She went back planning to continue to fight. She'll die to protect her young."

"Young! Shit," Wrath said, "We move now. V, are you good to go?"

"Just need guns," was his answer. Butch handed his over.

"I'll grab my spares and grab the Escalade. We'll need it to transport the young and any injured," Butch always thought quick on his feet.

"13 Everwood," Wrath said. "Everyone go now."

In the blink of an eye all that remain were the King, Fritz, Butch and the _shellans_.

…

Wrath hated being left behind. It never got any easier. "Butch, get those guns, fast." The cop pounded it for the Pit. "Fritz, who is she?"

"Her name is Syhren, my Lord."

"Her parents?"

"Unknown, sire. I do believe that Master Darius had his suspicions though," Wrath could smell the worry and nervousness coming from Fritz.

"Darius?"

"He brought her here and made her mistress of the mansion until his death. Our orders then, were to move her to a safe house so you and the Brothers would be able to live here without finding out about her."

"Why didn't you tell me this before?"

"Master Darius order it so. I was not to even say a word of her for a decade after his passing. Then when the time came I was to give you a letter he had prepared for you. There are procedures in case of an emergency, like today."

Butch was back. Wrath was still full of questions, but they would have to wait. "Fritz, I'm not done with you yet. Go with Butch. I want that letter a.s.a.p. went you get back. Now go and help the Brothers."

Butch and Fritz ran for the Escalade.

"What was she to Darius?" the he yelled.

Fritz paused as he stepped up into the vehicle, "His _shellan_, sire."


	10. Chapter 10

**I do not own any part of the Black Dagger Brotherhood. All of that greatness is the work of the amazing J R Ward.**

**As of 5-22-12 the wonderful GothicBelle has beta'ed this for me. Hopefully this is now easier to read.**

**I hope everyone enjoys.**

**Chapter Ten**

The Brothers reappeared in a tight group on the corner of Briar and Everwood. Number thirteen was only two houses over. They moved quickly and found themselves on the front yard of a nice two story Tudor. The _mhis _had been strong, but V got them through easily. Tohr looked around taking the scene in just like his brothers. He saw three scorch marks on the lawn, two windows were broken but there metal shudders were in place, and the front doors had been busted open. He could here faint fighting sounds coming from inside.

"John, Qhuinn, Blay take the back entrance. Z and Phury search the perimeter. Rhage, V, you're with me," Tohr realized he had took over his old role as leader. He looked over at Rhage hoping he hadn't offended him.

Rhage flashed his Hollywood whites, "It's great to have you back, Brother. You heard him, move out."

Tohr lead the way to the front doors. He took one side with V behind him and Rhage took the other. He did a quick check, the hall was clear. However, the fighting was louder. He made a motion and went in. He checked the first room on the right. It was the study, the room was a wreck, and the desk was on its side and had at least a dozen bullet holes in it. There was a scorch mark in the middle of the floor. That made four dead _lessers_.

"She and that Tolliver guy are putting up a great fight," V said checking his nose and ducking into the room on the left.

"We're clear in the front hall and the study," Tohr transmitted to the brothers using his cell's push to talk function. Thankful V had set them up to be used as radios in situations like these.

Tohr crossed and joined V in what looked like it had been a living room. All the furniture had been toppled over. The television had been smashed and was covered with _lesser_ blood. But what hurt his heart was that there were children's toys scattered all though out the mess.

"Garage is clear, moving to the kitchen," Blay's voice came over Tohr's cell.

"Roger that," Tohr responded.

"Backyard is clear, too. Butch has an e.t.a. of thirty minutes," Phury reported.

"Roger that," Tohr responded again. He had hoped Butch would be making better time than that.

"You smell that," V said kneeling behind a couch. "Vampire blood, lots of it. It smells male to me and it had to have been a nasty wound."

A loud bang came from above.

"Living room is clear. We got noise up stairs. Boys finish down here. We're heading up," Tohr ordered.

"Roger that, sir," Blay radioed back. The boy even had etiquette in the middle of a mission.

Tohr and his crew hit the stairs. Half way up there was gun fire and a scream. Tohr took the rest of the stairs three at a time and was at the door of the first bedroom in seconds. What he saw stunned him.

Syhren was in the center of the room holding up an injured male _doggen_ with her left arm and hip while sliding the gun in her right hand into her belt. Then she reached behind her and a dagger appeared from somewhere then she flipped it in her hand. She was going to stab the _lesser_.

"Stop," V yelled from behind him. She jerked her head toward the door and looked at them with the most gorgeous lavender eyes Tohr had ever seen. "We have another, more effective way of disposing of them." V stepped around him and moved forward. First he checked the _lesser_ and then he took the _doggen_ from her and placed him on the twin bed that was still up right. The _doggen _had been shot in the right thigh and was bleeding bad.

"He needs a tourniquet," she said. "There's a first aid kit in the bathroom, two doors down on the left."

"Rhage," Tohr ordered as he stepped on into the room, looking around.

"On it," Rhage said and left.

There was a second _lesser_ in the corner to his right. He checked and made sure the pasty bastard was down for the count. He had a bullet hole in his head and two more in his chest. He wasn't going anywhere soon. Tohr took out his cell, "E.t.a.? Faster we have some injured civilians. And lunch for you."

Rhage came back in with the kit and a _lesser_ of his own. He dropped the thing on the floor by the other and handed the kit to V. Then he stared at the female. Tohr noted the dagger was gone and the gun was back.

"Tohr, V, shit guys. Look at her."

Tohr did and realized she was covered in blood. Black blood of the _lessers_, the blood of the male and more importantly what seemed to be an alarming amount of her own blood. She was still bleeding from the earlier wound on her left side. But now she had more. She had been shot in her right shoulder and upper arm. The blood was running from both wounds down the length of her arm and dripping off the butt of V's gun. And from the look of her dress she also had a stomach wound. It was hard pressed to tell the color of her gown anymore.

V moved to her and took his gun back. "Thank you, the other one is in the dinning room, I ran out of ammo," she said. Her voice sounded so small and weak compared to earlier at the mansion. "The young. We need to get to Eva and the young."

"Where are they?" V asked.

"The panic room in the closet in the master bedroom," she tried to step forward and stumbled. V caught her and held her up. He put her back to his chest with one arm, so he had a gun hand free.

"You got her?" Tohr asked.

"Yeah, I can handle things in here. How far out is Butch?"

"Twenty at best and she needs to go now?" He reached for his phone. "Report."

"Outside is clear, no _lessers _and only the three marks," Z answered.

"First floor is clear. Two scorches total down here, sir," Blay responded.

"Syhren?" V asked. She nodded her response. V was taking most of her weight now.

"We're clear with three _lessers_ waiting for Butch," Tohr reported. "Blay is there a car down there?"

"Yes, sir," Blay's voice came over their phones. "A minivan and a sweet black Stingray."

"Keys?"

"Just a minute," Blay said. "Yeah both sets are here."

"Get them ready. John, Qhuinn get up here and help. Rhage go get the young."

"Eva won't open the door for him. I'll have to do it," her voice was fading fast.

"You're…"

"I'll carry her." V interrupted him.

"Fine. Rhage stay with the male. I have weapons to collect."

…

Qhuinn and John met V at the top of the stairs. Vishous was carrying the injured female. If Qhuinn hadn't known it was the same female from earlier he wouldn't have recognized her at all.

"She looks like shit," he said.

V threw him an extra nasty look and said, "No you can't shoot him."

That's when Qhuinn saw the gun in her hand. He moved himself in front of John and said, "What the fuck, V? You gave her a gun."

V shrugged. "Someone needed to be armed and my hands are full. Come on we have work to do."

Qhuinn and John followed V into the master bedroom and then into the closet. '_Blay would kill for a closet like this. Hell, it's even color coded,'_ Qhuinn thought. All three males fit in it with room the spare.

"John move these clothes out of the way. Now push the third panel from the right. Syh, honey," V shook her a bit. "What's the code? 1949 star. John do the honors."

John entered the code in and a hidden door popped open. He pulled in open to reveal a sturdy looking female _doggen_ holding a little blonde pixie with two dark haired boys by her side. He would guess the oldest was about five.

"Eva," V said. "I'm going to take Syhren to a doctor. I want you and the young to stay here with John and Qhuinn. I'm going to make sure the male _doggen_ is loaded in the van, then the boys will bring all of you down and we're getting you out of here."

"Bless you, sire," she said as she handed the girl to John and stepped up to her Mistress. With tears in her eyes she kissed the female's cheek and whispered, "My Lady, you saved us all. Master Darius would be proud. Take her now and save her."

V rushed her away leaving him and John with the civilians. "Hey, John, hold still. Let me get a shot of you and the pixie. Xhex and Blay are gonna be mad they missed this." Qhuinn grinned at him holding up his phone.

John handed the little one back to Eva and signed, "_What the fuck? I hold Nalla all the time._"

"_Just trying to lighten the mood a little_," he signed back. "_They just saw their mom about one step away from death's door._"

"Oh," John mouthed.

"Eva, where is that man taking _Mahmen_?" Wahr asked.

"To a doctor, she was hurt keeping us safe from the _lessers,"_ she said in a gentle tone.

"Yeah," Qhuinn added. "She fought like a warrior and that can tire you out real fast."

"Two cars of _lessers_ just pulled up road side and there's a moving van too," Z voice came over their phones.

"Eva, kids get back inside the room for now," Qhuinn ordered. Eva rushed the young back in and John shut the door and put the clothes back in place. Qhuinn shut the closet behind them.

"Tohr, there's eight in the cars and two in the van."

'_Damn,'_ Qhuinn thought running for the stairs, John on his heels.

"Everyone downstairs. Let's see if we can draw them inside and surprise them," Tohr said.

"Thor, the two teams of four are headed for the front walk," Z reported.

Qhuinn and John reached the foyer and ducked into the study. Tohr and Rhage were across the hall in the living room.

John signed, "_Where are Blay and V?_"

"_In the garage with the wounded,_" Tohr signed back. "_V was just about to leave when the _lessers_ showed._"

"Fuck," Qhuinn breathed out. If Syhren wasn't out of here soon she was dead.

"Another six just got out of the van," Z reported in. "Four are headed to the garage and four are going around back."

"Z help Phury," Tohr ordered.

Just then the front door opened.

…

Blay was hanging on every word coming from his cell phone. He had just put the _doggen_, Tolliver, in the floor of the minivan and was going to help V get Syhren to cover. He was half way around the van when the garage door started opening. He ducked for cover behind the van.

V had just scooped Syhren back into his arms when the _lessers_ opened fire. Some how Syhren found the strength to return fire and took out one of the _lessers_. V was almost to Blay when he hit his knees. He then fell forwards pushing Syhren out in front of him.

Blay pulled her to safety and returned fire. Blay nailed a dark headed _lesser_ dead center of the chest. He was down for now. _'Thank the Virgin V's moving again,'_ Blay thought as V rolled himself under the van.

V shouted, "Syh, go to the mansion. Go to the mansion. Blay I'll cover you. You have to get her awake and make her dematerialize to the mansion."

V started shooting from under the van. Blay turned to the female. Her eyes were closed, but she was still breathing. She was so pale it scared him. V had said to wake her up, so Blay gently shook her. She moaned and opened her eyes to look at him. "Come on. You have to get back to the mansion. Come on, stay awake. There's a doc at the mansion. Can you make it?" She nodded and closed her eyes. He held his breath. It took a few seconds, but she disappeared.

"Scribe Virgin by all that is good and gracious of you, if it be your will, see your child back to the Brotherhood mansion and into the care of her friends," he hoped the prayer was good enough and did not offend her Holiness.

"That was a good one, Blay," V said sliding out from under the van.

Blay saw his wounds. Two bullet holes in the back of his left leg. "Jesus, V, your bleeding like a freight train." Blay took off his belt and used it as a tourniquet for V's leg.

"Thanks kid, I'm going to cover you and I want you to make it inside."

"You go first," Blay argued.

"No, you. You can run faster and you'll have the better ground from the doorway to cover me. On the count of three, two, one."

Blay bolted for it in a hail of bullets. He made it to the door and took cover and aimed. V was right he had a much better vantage point from here. He took out another _lesser_ with a head shot while V made his way to the door. The last _lesser_ turned tail and ran.

"We have three down and one on the run from the garage. V has two hits in his leg, but he's still standing," Blay reported.

The back door knob turned and Blay aimed his gun at it. Z came in followed by Phury. "We dusted our four," he said into his phone.

There was still gun fire in the front of the house.

"Where's the female?" Phury asked.

"Hopefully at the mansion," Blay sadly stated.

"I'll go ahead and ghost it back. I'll call you. I'm not going to be much help here anyways. Z, Phury, ya'll mind stripping and dusting the _lessers_ in the garage. Oh and check on the guy in the van. I'm out." And he was gone.

Blay got himself ready to head into the fray. He slowly opened the door. He saw two _lessers_ in the hall. One on each side, they were firing into the first two rooms. Blay took his time and aimed carefully before firing. He dropped the one on the right with another head shot. He ducked back into the kitchen just in case. He heard a loud bang and a few more shots and then all was quiet.

"All clear," Tohr called.

Blay walked out into the hall. He looked the Brothers over as they all came out into the hall. Butch was at the front entrance. He must have taken out the last _lesser_. Phury and Z came in behind him. They were no worse for wear. Rhage and Tohr came from the right. No visible damage. John and Qhuinn came from the left. They all seemed fine.

He studied Qhuinn carefully. _Lesser_ blood glistened on his leathers. His eyes were sharp and bright from the fight. He was electrifying and energized. Vibrant and alive. A fierce warrior. He walked toward Blay. It was more like prowling than walking. It was like he was stalking prey.

Blay held his breathe, he was doing it again. Seeing things that weren't there. Hoping when he shouldn't. Qhuinn was just happy he was alive. They were friends, that's all. Qhuinn threw his arms around him and held him tight. Blay inhaled slowly enjoying the scent that was uniquely Qhuinn. He hugged him back savoring the contact. It had been far too long. Being in his arms again was heaven. All this touching after so long was making him light headed. Qhuinn took a little step back, moving his hands up to Blay's face. His eyes were full of passion. Blay's heart sped up. _'This is it. He's going to kiss me,'_ Blay thought. Then the look on Qhuinn's face changed. He looked scared, then terrified. Blay felt his heart breaking again. Everything got hazy. _'Fuck, I'm such a pussy, I'm going to faint,' _he thought and he did.

…

Qhuinn had been so happy to see Blay at the end of the hall, he just marched right up to him and hugged him tight. He never wanted to let him go. He had been so afraid for him when the _lessers_ had attacked. He just held him tighter and thanked the Scribe Virgin they had both made it through this.

He had stepped back intending to let Blay go. He didn't want to push his luck. But when he saw Blay's eyes all he wanted was to kiss him. With out thinking or meaning to he had framed Blay's face in his hands. His intention was to kiss the male in front of the Brothers, because he didn't care about all his stupid dreams or what people thought anymore. The only thing that mattered now was Blay and that he loved him.

Then he saw the blood on Blay's cheeks. Qhuinn's arms and hands were covered with it. '_Oh, god was Blay bleeding?'_ He thought. All of the sudden Blay went pale and collapsed into his arms.

Qhuinn yelled for help. The next thing he knew he was in the back of the Escalade and Rhage was hauling ass for the mansion. Blay had four bullet holes in his back. He held Blay's head in his lap and tried to keep as much pressure on the worst of the holes. Qhuinn's tears were dripping into Blay's hair. Every time Blay moaned, Qhuinn thanked the Virgin he was still alive.

After what seemed like hours they pulled into the training facility's under ground parking. The human doctor, Manello, was waiting on them with a gurney.

"Where's Doc Jane?" he asked.

"She's with Syhren, the woman's in real bad shape. Don't worry I've got this and they sent for another doctor too. Someone called Havers. Rhage, right?, help me get him inside. We've set up one of the classrooms so I can work on him. You," he glanced at Qhuinn, "stay with the other patient and Rhage here will come back and help you bring him in.

Qhuinn watched them run the gurney with Blay on it down the hall. All he could do now was wait.


	11. Chapter 11

**I do not own any part of the Black Dagger Brotherhood. All of that greatness is the work of the amazing J R Ward.**

**As of 5-22-12 the wonderful GothicBelle has beta'ed this for me. Hopefully this is now easier to read.**

**I hope everyone enjoys.**

**Chapter Eleven**

Qhuinn was not a patient male. He hated waiting. Dr. Manello had been working on Blay for almost five hours. He had sat outside Doc M's make shift operating room for about two hours when Mary, Rhage and Z had come down and made him shower and change. When he had come back to wait outside the classroom/operating room there was a chair and T.V. tray with a covered plate on it. He sat back on the floor across from the door. John had been waiting for him too. John just sat beside him; his presence alone was a comfort.

Rehv's _shellan_, Ehlena, had been in and out several times. Every time she had assured him things were going fine. Havers had finished up with V and the _doggen_ next door about a few hours ago and had went to help Doc Jane. From what Qhuinn had heard from that Brothers and _shellans_ Doc Jane had her hands full. Phury had stopped by on his way out and said that they had found a row of bullet holes in her abdomen and the slash across her ribs had been really deep.

Tohr had brought in a small arsenal not long ago and there had been a few auto fires in the bunch. That explained both patients' wounds. The members of the _Lessoning Society_ were really stepping up their game.

There had been twenty-four _lessers_ total at the battle. Wrath and Tohr had said that they couldn't remember the last time the _Society_ had used such large numbers. Tohr had brought in nineteen IDs and had sent Z and Rhage out to start jar collection. Qhuinn had been amazed to learn that Syhren had had the insight to take the IDs and cells off the first four _lessers_ before she dusted them. Two of the _lessers_ had managed to get away and a few were dusted without collecting anything. Sometimes you had to do what you had to do. Butch had taken care of the rest. His biggest intake yet, now he was back at the Pit with the stitched up V recovering.

John had been call to Wrath's office a little bit ago. Qhuinn drew his knees up to his chest so that he could put his arms and head on them. He was wired and wore out at the same time. He was starving, yet the thought of food made him feel sick. He needed a distraction so he pulled out his cell again to dial Blay's one more time.

At first he had just been listening to the message. Then a few hours into the wait he had started talking. At first he worried about what John thought, but the male just let him be. He'd talked about the old days before their transitions. Those early days of training when they'd first met John. He spoke of all those nights of drinking beer and playing videos games. He talked about the nights spent in the clubs. He had talked of the days after the Massacre when Blay had watched him like a hawk afraid he'd break down.

The voicemail came on and he waited. "Blay you're probably tired of listening to me by now, if you're listening to them at all. If you just deleted everything I don't blame you. I've been the worst asshole on earth to you. I don't know why I am like I am. I pushed you away when you're the only one I want. I said things to hurt, to drive you away. My only excuse is that you're perfect. Blay you are the most perfect being on earth. You care about everyone and everything. You scare me Blay. When no one else did, you loved me. You've always loved me," the phone beeped at him and stopped recording. "I love you, too, more than anything," he finished anyways. If Blay died he would too.

"Qhuinn," a familiar voice said, "Cousin, how are you?"

Qhuinn stared up at his cousin, a hot fury burned through him. Before he knew it he had pinned Saxton to the wall. He had touched Blay; he had had his mouth on Blay's. He had had **his** Blay naked in bed. Perfect fucking Saxton had had Blay. "He's _**mine**_," Qhuinn growled showing his fangs.

Saxton looked right at him no fear in his eyes only sorrow and concern. "He always was, always."

And as fast as the fury, as the madness had come, it melted away with those words. Saxton had submitted to Qhuinn's claim. Qhuinn relaxed and his hands fell away from Sax.

"I can't lose him," he said.

"You won't. Believe me. That male loves you far too much to leave you," Saxton said offering Qhuinn his hand.

Qhuinn took it and pulled Sax into a quick hug. "You really believe that?"

"With all my heart. I've seen the way the two of you look at each other. He has loved you for a long time, but I'm afraid he's in a bad place. Like I said he'll never leave you, but all the rejection is killing him on the inside. I just hope it's not too late for you to prove yourself."

"Will you stay a while?" Qhuinn didn't wait for an answer he waved at the only chair. "Sit."

"You sit. The _doggen_ are bringing me a chair. You really should eat something, Cousin," Sax pointed at the tray.

"Can't," he said still not sitting. "I want to hurl just at the thought of food."

Two _doggen_ came up the hall carrying chairs in both hands.

"What's all this?" Qhuinn asked.

"Chairs for your guess, sire," the lead _doggen_ said.

"Why so many?"

"Master Phury is coming with the Chosen, sire."

"Thank you," Qhuinn said. He took eminent arrival as a good sign. Blay would need to feed as soon as he woke.

"Master Qhuinn, is there anything else you require?"

He looked to Sax, who shook his head. "No thank you. Do you know when Phury will be here?"

"Very soon, sire. We were told to bring the chairs down when he was called." The two _doggen_ took their leave and before he and Sax where settled Phury and two Chosen arrived. Selena and another he had not met.

The two males rose to greet the Chosen properly. Qhuinn may not look the part, but he did know how to be a gentleman. Phury did the introductions and they were all seated. The other Chosen was named Amalya.

"You brought two Chosen for Blay?" Qhuinn asked Phury. This worried him. That meant Blay was worse off than he'd been lead to believe.

"Manello say's Blay has lost a large amount of blood. We don't want him to take too much from one donor. So I came with these two volunteers, also if V doesn't take too much, Layla is also here. But don't worry if we need more than that, some of the other Chosen will come. Even a few of the _shellans_ have volunteered. Cormia did, though I don't know how I could stand that. However, if that is what it takes to save Blay we will make it happen," Phury said the last as if in was a vow. Qhuinn appreciated the Brother's loyalty and sat back to wait.

…

Wrath was going over yet another civilian request for restitution when he felt her presence. For her to come here something major must be going down.

"You honor me with your presence, Mother of Our Race."

"Wise words, my son, my king. However, I do not believe this visit is one to fear or worry over. There will be many of those in the future," she said and floated about the room. Wrath was amazed at his ease of tracking her. He would have thought that with her being a deity she would be difficult or even impossible for him to track.

"You sense me because I wish it so," she responded.

"Thank you, Scribe Virgin. I am again honored," Wrath spoke with respect, even though he was still furious with her.

"I suppose you will remain angry with me for a while yet. I merely came here to make a suggestion," she paused again.

Wrath was curious, but knew better than to question her.

"Wise, King Wrath, you are learning. Even with your anger you are showing patience and respect. You are becoming more worthy of your role everyday."

Wrath didn't know what to think of the praise.

"I hope you listen to my suggestion and consider it honorably. I know I agreed you are now in charge of the selection of Brothers, but there is one I would like to serve me as a member of the Brotherhood. He has proven himself to me. I wish for you to ask Tehrror."

Wrath was a little taken back, not that she wanted John Matthew, just that it was too soon. The male was still practically a child, barely out of his transition.

"I believe him ready. I also believe he is not the only one. Think on this, Wrath, son of Wrath." With that she was gone.

The Scribe Virgin believed John Matthew was ready to be a Brother? Wrath was still a bit shocked at the idea. He knew they needed to increase the ranks of the Brotherhood, but was John ready? Wrath had a hard time seeing passed the fact that John was his _shellan's_ brother and her only family. Well, perhaps not her only family now. Any of the three young of Syhren's they were now harboring could be of Darius' blood as well.

Wrath picked up the phone and dialed the Pit. "V man, how're feeling? Good, have you fed? How's the cop? Good, both of you be in my office in a half hour."

Wrath hit up the rest of the Brothers and went back to his paperwork.

…

Butch was miserable. He had been laying here worrying about V for over an hour now. Phury and Z had carried him in and put him to bed. He had devoured over a dozen _lessers_, up until tonight nine had been the most at once. Marissa was still tied up with the new refugees at Safe Place. Mary had been in to check on him twice. She would have stayed until Marissa could come, but with Beth and Ehlena helping the doctors she had her hands full too. She was helping Bella with the three young they had rescued, and trying to keep an eye on Qhuinn.

V had only been shot in the leg and was just needing to get the bullets removed so he could heal. Blay on the other hand had taken four bullets across his upper back. According to Mary one was very near his heart, another next to his spine, and the other two had went into his left lung. Butch was sick with worry. Was V worse than they thought or had Blay or the female taken a turn for the worse? Butch tried to get up to help, to see what was happening, but couldn't. He was too weak and he hated it.

"Never, fucking, again," he barked at the ceiling.

"Never, what cop?" V asked limping into the room.

"Too many fucking _lessers_," Butch growled. "I stopped at fourteen, but it was still too many."

"Well, I'm here now," V stepped toward the bed while removing his jacket. "Come on Butch. Get your clothes off, you know the more skin the faster this works."

"Yeah, I know and believe me I'm all for faster. Only problem is the longer it's been the weaker I've gotten. I've tried but I can't even sit my ass up."

"Damn," was all V said. He moved to the bed and sat Butch up and removed his leather jacket and chest harness and shoulder holsters. He laid him back down and carried the jacket, harness and holsters to the lone chair in the room. Then he came back and sat Butch up again and got his t-shirt off and that hit the floor. Then came the shitkickers and leather pants.

As he laid there on the bed in only his underwear, he thought about how gentle V was with him. Just like he, himself, was with Marissa. Butch watched the muscles on V's back flex and stretch as he removed his own shirt. _'Beautiful,'_ he thought. That should bother him but it didn't and that was the problem with Vishous. Butch couldn't explain why he was attracted to V when he had never been attracted to any other men in his life. And hell, he'd met a lot better looking ones. It was just V. They had a unique bond. He loved Marissa and she was his life, his _shellan_. But V was for lack of a better term his soul mate.

V shucked his pants and Butch saw that his whole upper leg had been bandaged. "Dammit, V, you can't do this right now. You've been hurt and you need to feed. You need to rest."

"One of the Chosen will be coming later tonight to feed me. I'm not hurt that bad and besides I just fed two nights ago. I'm more than capable of taking care of you."

"Fine," Butch replied as V lay down beside him. Butch was so glad he was too sick and weak to do anything, because he so wanted his hands all over his best friend right now.

…

V knew he was in rough shape, but the cop looked near death. V worried that Butch really had went too far this time. V wrapped his arms around the male and adjusted them both until they were spooning. Butch was so cold and filled with the Omega that it scared him. V let his light out and clung to Butch, drawing in the Darkness.

V had been awakened by a knock to the door.

"V, Butch, get up," Phury called. "Layla is here to feed you."

V looked beside him. Butch was asleep in his arms. V wished they could stay like this forever. He gently pulled his arm out from under Butch. He quickly threw on a pair of sweats and a t-shirt from Butch's dresser. He liked wearing the cop's clothes. It made him feel closer to him and just a little naughty. He grabbed an extra comforter from the closet and covered Butch.

Vishous opened the door wide to let Phury in. "You bring the Chosen?"

"Layla is waiting in the living room for you," Phury said.

V was so glad the male was getting his act together. He was made for the role of Primale. He cared for the Chosen as a father would. Phury trusted both his Brothers, but had worried what would happen if Layla had found them sleeping and tried to awaken them herself.

"Good call, I don't know what would have happened either."

"I know you wouldn't hurt her on purpose, but she seems to be a little reckless when it comes to males. She is far too curious for her own good," Phury paused looking at Butch. "How is he? He gave us a good scare this time. We tried to stop him, but he doesn't listen to anyone but you."

"We're about half done I think. He's resting better know and his color is coming back. He'll be as good as ever by tomorrow night. I don't want to leave him alone. Would you send Layla in on your way out?" V asked. Then he caught Phury's thoughts of Blay. "Two Chosen? Is it really that bad?"

"From what Manello and Havers think it is. Manello had to chase one bullet around Blay's chest and he had to be extra careful and take things extra slow with the one in his heart, and the spine was difficult too. Havers is worried that they may not even be able to bring Blay around enough to feed," Phury's voice was full of worry.

"How's Qhuinn?"

"So far he's holding up, John's been sitting with him and Mary has been keeping an eye on him too. I don't think anyone's told him how bad it really is. We're all worried how he'd handle any more right now. FYI Fritz came back with Saxton just before I headed over here," Phury seemed a bit distracted.

"What else?"

'Fritz is all kinds of out of sorts. The _doggen_ female, Eva, is on edge and didn't want to let Bella or Mary near the young."

"She is very loyal to her Mistress. She's taken care of Syhren since she was a baby," V said revealing some of her thoughts he had read back in that closet.

"No wonder she is so protective. I'll send Layla in. I need to get back to the cabin and the Chosen. Cormia says they are all excited over the possibility of being of such great use to us in our time of need," Phury had pride in his voice for the Chosen.

"Thank you my Brother," he said going back to the bed to check on Butch.

V still thought him to be the most desirable male he had ever met. He'd wanted him bad enough when he was human and after the cop's transition his masculine beauty had drove V to the edge of insanity. Thank the Scribe Virgin that he had met Jane. Now she was the most important being in his life. It's just that Butch ran a close second. No matter how much he loved Jane he was always going to love Butch too. And heaven help him there was still a physical attraction too. If it wasn't for the chance of losing Jane or of losing Butch's friendship he would have had the male by now. A small noise came from the doorway and V backed away from Butch.

"Layla please enter, you honor me with your presence."

"You are welcome, sire."

"Please have a seat," V motioned for the only chair in the room.

She sat and raised the sleeve of her robe. V slowly went to his knees. Still favoring his injured leg. He leaned over and sunk his fangs into her wrist. V drank for a few minutes then released her. After sealing the puncture marks he sent her on her way.

After making sure the Chosen was on her way, V rushed back to the cop's bedroom. He hurried back out of Butch's clothes and back into bed with him. V again spooned up to the male and wrapped his arms around him. He started drawing the Darkness out again and soon drifted back off to sleep. Being here in this bed with Butch in his arms felt absolutely perfect.


	12. Chapter 12

**I do not own any part of the Black Dagger Brotherhood. All of that greatness is the work of the amazing J R Ward.**

**As of 5-22-12 the wonderful GothicBelle has beta'ed this for me. Hopefully this is now easier to read.**

**I hope everyone enjoys.**

**Chapter Twelve**

'_Damn_,' V thought. The phone was ringing. Vishous opened his eyes. '_Shit_,' both he and Butch had moved in their sleep. He was flat on his back his arm wrapped around the cop. Butch had turned over and tucked himself to V's side resting his head on his chest. This was far to cozy for his own good. It felt good waking up with him in his arms like this.

V had to reach over his friend to get to the phone. V's chest pressed against Butch's as he grabbed the phone. The air around them practically crackled at the contact.

"Hello," it was the King. "Fine. Yes. He looks a lot better. Yes."

The King was always to the point with V and he respected that. V leaned over again and put the phone back on the charger.

"Who was that?" Butch looked right into his eyes. '_Damn him.' _He had the most beautiful hazel eyes, the cutest busted nose and the perfect jaw line. And to top all that off his brown hair was all rumpled from their nap. He was just too fucking sexy.

"Wrath," V said not moving. "He wants us up stairs in thirty."

"Something wrong?"

"I don't think so. He didn't give details, but he was cool," V had leaned a little more into Butch.

"I love your eyes," Butch said, then suck in a sharp breath. He jerked up knocking V on his back. "Fuck, I've… I need… Damn I'm going to hit the shower. Um… V, man I'll see you upstairs." Butch rushed into the bathroom and shut the door a little hard.

V couldn't believe it, the cop was into him. Butch had basically told him back when Jane had first come into their lives that at one time he was into him, but V had thought he was just saying that. That deep down Butch would never feel that way for a male, but from his words and actions maybe V wasn't alone in this.

He went to the bathroom door, "Butch, we need to talk about this."

He listened as the shower turned on and leaned on the door. He placed his forehead on the door and waited for Butch to say something.

"No we don't," the cop yelled over the water.

"Yes we do," V didn't care how uncomfortable Butch was with this; it wasn't a walk in the park for him either. He'd been trying for months to make the feelings stop, but it was only getting worse.

"No we don't. We ain't got the time," Butch sounded almost as if he was pleading with him.

"Fine, not now, but we will talk about this," V vowed and went to his own room to clean up.

…

Butch leaned his head on the shower wall and let the hot water run down his back. '_Fuck,'_ he thought, '_I can't believe I fucking said that out loud.'_

'_Dammit_.' When he'd opened his eyes and saw V stretched out over his chest it had felt so great. Everywhere V touched him he was on fire. Butch had had the best view of V's face to date. And like he said he loved those fucking eyes of his. '_Fuck._ _I should only feel like this for Marissa, she is my _shellan_, my life. V is just my best friend, I shouldn't want to fuck him. I shouldn't want anyone but Marissa.'_

No more alone time with V. He had to get over this. He had been avoiding it for too long. Butch hurried through his shower making plans to go to church the next night. He needed some alone time and a little praying never hurt. He had to resolve this situation before it got out of hand. Both Marissa and V meant too much to him to hurt them. Or Jane.

…

Blay looked around and knew without a doubt he was headed for the Fade. This was not how or when he wanted his life to end. He had wanted years. He had always thought he'd have more time. That maybe, eventually he would have had a chance with Qhuinn.

Who would look after Qhuinn now? Most likely Layla, Qhuinn favored her, hell he'd slept with her. In his own room and she was fucking perfect. Everything Qhuinn wanted in a _shellan_. Who was he kidding, he needed Qhuinn, but Qhuinn didn't need him.

"He needs you more than he knows."

"What?" Blay spun around and saw her. In all this white light her black robe was a stark contrast. He hit his knees, "Forgive me."

"I have questions for you. You will answer them truthfully from your heart."

Blay nodded.

"Blaylock, son of Rocke, do you love Qhuinn completely?"

"Yes," there was no hesitation. There was no doubt that he loved Qhuinn with every fiber of his being.

"Would you do anything for me to have him?"

"Scribe Virgin, I would do as you asked without reward."

"Wise answer, Blaylock. Do you wish to mate him?"

"With all my heart."

"I can not change his heart, but if he loves you and you both want this I will give you my blessing. I only ask for one thing, will you do this for me?"

"For him I would give you anything."

"One young every twenty years."


	13. Chapter 13

**I do not own any part of the Black Dagger Brotherhood. All of that greatness is the work of the amazing J R Ward.**

**As of 5-22-12 the wonderful GothicBelle has beta'ed this for me. Hopefully this is now easier to read.**

**I hope everyone enjoys.**

**Chapter Thirteen**

Butch was already gone from the Pit by the time V had come from his room. Probably a good thing he didn't need to push the cop right now. What he needed to do was talk to Jane first. She was his _shellan_ and she owned him. He shouldn't do any thing more until he reasoned things out with her.

He made his way to the to the King's office. He had taken the underground hall meaning to talk to Qhuinn, but the male had been so intent on talking to his cell that V just let him be and passed on by. He nodded to John. He'd be surprised if he had even registered with Qhuinn. He was on the brink and talking to Blay even if it was only voice mail was the only thing holding the male together. Blay better damn well survive or the Brothers were going to lose two great soldiers. Plus V had to thank him.

When V got up stairs he sat down by the cop and kept his mouth shut. Knowing him if he opened it he'd only say something stupid and inappropriate. Butch nodded to him and faced the King. Great minds think alike. This was not the time or place. Plus they didn't need an audience.

Tohr came in last and shut the doors.

"Sorry to call you all in like this, but we have a few important things we need to discuss," Wrath said getting up and moving to the front of his desk. He leaned back onto it. "We're going to wait and go over what happened out there tomorrow night."

That surprised V and from the looks a few of the other Brothers it did them too.

"First off there has been a nomination made for membership."

"What? Who?" Several brothers spoke at once.

Wrath lifted his hand for silence.

"The Scribe Virgin has made a nomination. She is not ordering this, only making a suggestion. She wants to respect our earlier decision of choosing our own members, but she says this warrior has proven himself to her. Therefore, we will discuss this and decide for ourselves if the question should be asked."

"Who has she chosen?" Tohr asked.

"Good questions, but first the ground rules. I will tell you who it is. Then I will call on each of you to state any concerns, objections or any praises you have. No interruptions. Once everyone has had a say then I will again call on each of you to vote. Are we clear?"

Everyone nodded their agreement.

"I will go last," Wrath stated. "The Scribe Virgin, in all her wisdom, has decided to nominate John Matthew."

V was a little surprised, but not shocked. He knew this day would come eventually he just thought it would be farther down the road.

"Zsadist," the King called.

"I think he will be a fine Brother. He is a damn good fighter. Reminds me so much of his father. He shoots like no one's business and he has a good head on his shoulders," Z never one for many words only spoke what he truly meant.

"Phury."

"I'll admit this seems a little soon. He is young, but the male has an old soul and everything Z said about him is right. Mainly I wish this wasn't necessary, I wish he didn't have to fight in this war at all," Phury was the most compassionate Brother in the bunch. That is why he is the perfect Primale.

"Rhage."

"I got nothing bad to say about the boy. So he's young, we all were. Hell, he's way more mature than I was when I joined," Rhage answered.

"Vishous."

"I agree with the others. My thing is why just John. Qhuinn and Blaylock are just as worthy. Hell, look what Blay did tonight to save me. Four bullets he took for me," V wanted to make sure all three got the credit they deserved.

"V, I appreciate you taking up for the boys, but right now is about John. If you believe in them that much then you can nominate them. Tonight if you want, but I really think it should wait until Blay has recovered."

"Yes, your Majesty," V was glad the King saw it his way.

"Butch," Wrath continued.

"Ditto to V and the rest. The male deserves this. If you ask me it seems he was born to be one of us. He deserves it more than I did." V just didn't understand why Butch always had to put himself down. He was a damn fine Brother and had earned his place just like the rest of them. Most of the time Butch seemed fine and at home with the Brothers and then, like now, out of nowhere he starts doubting again. V had no doubt of Butch's place; it was at his side no matter what.

"Tohr."

"As a Brother, this is a good decision. But I still think of him as my son and this war is not what I want for him. Hell, I don't even like that he's fighting now. If I could, I'd keep him as far away from this danger as possible. However, I also won't deny that he deserves this. He is strong and brave. He is smart and capable. He is everything we could hope for in a Brother," Tohr was torn. He loved John like his own. He was proud of him and afraid for him. At times like this V thought how utterly unfair life was. Tohr was a good father to John and if Wellsie had lived there was no doubt he would have been the greatest father of them all. Life was so fucking unfair.

"As the Brother of my _shellan,_ I feel the same as Tohr. John Matthew would make a fine Brother, he is a male of worth and a great warrior for our race," Wrath paused. "Now we vote. Zsadist?"

"Yes."

"Phury?"

"Of course."

"Rhage?"

"Hell, yeah."

"Vishous?"

"Fuck, yes."

"Dhestroyer?"

"Well if we're being that formal. Yes, my Lord and King. To have him as a Brother would be a great honor," Butch always had to be the smartass.

"Put a sock in it cop," Wrath grinned at him. The looked at their last Brother, "Tohr?"

"Yes, nothing would make me prouder. This would greatly honor me and his father."

"I'm glad we all agree on this. Now for the next part or our business."

"What about the boys?" V asked.

"This first, I really think we need to see how things turn out down stairs first," Wrath responded. "Now that we have decided about John I think it best to wait for Blay to recover and settle things with our other guest."

"Do we know who she is or where she came from?" Thor asked.

Wrath picked up the phone on his desk, "You two can come up now," he hung up. "Fritz and Saxton are going to join us. They will have the details we need."

"Her name is Syhren," V said. "Her etiquette and body language suggest she is high _glymeria_. Plus I saw her closet, defiantly high class."

"She did look the part, when I saw her out on the drive it reminded me of the first time I laid eyes on Marissa," Butch added.

"She has the most remarkable lavender eyes," Tohr said. "Her hair is longer than yours, Wrath, and just as black."

"She fights like a soldier, someone had to have taught her," Rhage said. "She took out nine _lessers _with only the help of an older _doggen._ Barring Xhex I've never heard of a female doing anything like that before."

There was a knock on the door and Fritz came in followed by Saxton.

"Good evening my Lords," Fritz bowed.

"Gentlemen, your Majesty," Saxton bowed to the King.

"Alright Fritz spill," Wrath said.

The _doggen_ looked uncomfortable as he stepped forward and handed the King an envelope, "Would you like me to read it to you now, sire, or do you wish to open it later in private?"

Wrath held the envelope out to his side, "Tohr read it. Then tell us what we all need to know."

"Of course," Tohr took the letter.

"Now Fritz, please tell us what you know?" The King commanded.

"She came to us as an infant. I do not know were from. Master Darius hired two _doggen_, a brother and sister, to care for her. He set up a separate household for her. He visited her every night. He brought her here after the mansion was completed. She was very precious to us and he felt she was safest here. He made it very clear early on that the Brothers were not to know of her. He went to great lengths to keep her separate from the rest of our world."

"Why not tell us? We're his Brothers. We would have helped him, supported him," Phury said.

"I do not know for sure, but he was not comfortable with it and I do not think it was his choice. I believe he received instructions from someone on Lady Syhren's care from the beginning. He treated her as daughter right up to her transition."

"She's Darius's daughter?" Rhage's jaw practically hit the floor.

"Not according to this," Tohr said. "In this he states she is his _shellan_. He calls her 'his most beloved', but says he never bonded to her and that their relationship was not sexual. He states that because of one night of indiscretion he took her as his _shellan_. He would not bring dishonor to her."

"That sounds like D," Zsadist said.

"How old is she," Butch asked.

"Ninety," Fritz answered.

"Fuck," Wrath said. "He hid her from me for almost a century."

"This says he had to. Direct order from the Scribe Virgin. She is the one that placed the baby with Darius. Wanting her to have a proper upbringing," Tohr said.

"What the hell? It's never good when she's involved," V said wondering what was up his mother's sleeve this time. "Where has she been all these years?"

"Originally the townhouse," Fritz replyed. "Then here when the mansion was completed, then when Master Darius passed Tolliver and Eva took her to the safe house per his orders."

"And the young?" Phury asked.

"Her eldest is her only biological young. He is Wahr, son of Darius," Saxton answered moving forward with some folders in his hand. "Havers confirmed and documented his bloodline, these are copies," he handed a folder to Tohr. "She adopted the other two through Havers clinic. I did all the paperwork. They are Ahnger, son of Dunnhill, son of Ahnger. His mother died in child birth and his father wanted nothing to do with him. Syhren was visiting the clinic at the time and offered to take the child. Mariah's father is unknown. She was also born at the clinic. When her mother died Havers called upon Syhren and she took her as well," he gave two more folders to Tohr.

"She truly **is**a female of worth," Wrath spoke.

"Wrath, your Majesty, we can't send her away," Phury spoke.

"She is one of us, she stays," Wrath said, "Saxton, I want you to go over those records you brought with Tohr. Fritz I want to talk to John a.s.a.p. Everyone else is dismissed. Get some rest."


	14. Chapter 14

**I do not own any part of the Black Dagger Brotherhood. All of that greatness is the work of the amazing J R Ward.**

**As of 5-22-12 the wonderful GothicBelle has beta'ed this for me. Hopefully this is now easier to read.**

**I hope everyone enjoys.**

**Chapter Fourteen**

Syhren opened her eyes, everything was white. Something was very wrong. This had to be the Fade. She did not belong here. She had to get back to her young.

"Do not worry yourself, you will be back with them soon, it is my will."

Syhren turned around to see the most beautiful creature she'd ever laid eyes on and fell to her knees. "Dearest Scribe Virgin."

"Rise, Syhren. This is only a visit my dear. I have plans for you."

"Of course, it is my duty to serve your Grace." Darius had been careful in her training. This must be what he had been preparing her for. She would not show any fear or nervousness. She stood straight and tall.

"Yes, I chose well when I gave you to his care." The Scribe Virgin was floating in circles around her. She was magnificent and frightening all at once. A true force of nature. The mother of her race. "I will have you stay with the Brothers. Your fate is entwined with theirs. Soon much will be revealed and you must be prepared to accept what is asked of you from me and from the King."

"I will do all that you ask and the King as well," Syhren pledge. Darius had prepared her for this and she would not fell him. She would do all she could to serve her maker and her King.

"Be well child," and she vanished.

…

"Come in," Wrath said to the knock at the door.

"Hello John," Mary said from her chair. "Wrath thought that if it was okay with you I could translate for the two of you. John says that's good for him."

"John how's Qhuinn holding up?"

"Not to good," Mary translated.

"I was afraid of that," Wrath leaned back in his chair. "I'll just get to the point. Do you think he would be willing to feed Syhren?"

"Maybe if you order him, but he won't be happy to leave Blay any time soon."

"John I'm going to have to ask him. I can't expect bonded males to do this; I would never want to upset any of the _shellans_. Jealousy is just as hard for them as with us males."

"_Of course_," John answered.

"Saxton's here, so I will ask him as well. She's going to need a lot of blood and, like Blay, it would be best to have more than one source," Wrath said half talking to himself.

"Wrath that is a good idea," Mary said. "But I think that if the need was great the _shellans_ could stand it to save her life. No children should have to be without a mother and the young are already so very much upset."

"John, there is something else I want to tell you before you hear it from one of the other Brothers. Syhren was Darius's _shellan,_ however, there was no bond. Basically like my relationship with Marissa, before I met Beth. Except the oldest of her young is Wahr, son of Darius. So it appears that you and Beth have a brother."

"He's stunned. Not really sure what he's suppose to say. He likes the idea and wants to meet him," Mary again translated. "Oh, John. I've meet him. He looks very much like you. His hair is really black though, like his mother's and his eyes are baby blue or sky blue might be a better color. He is so strong and helpful."

"John, Beth knows about Syhren, but she doesn't know that Wahr is your brother. She knows about the young, but only Wahr is Darius's. The other two are adopted."

"_Don't worry I won't tell her_," was John's reply. "_If we're done I'd like to get back to the training center_."

"Sure, I was just about to head that way myself. I'll be there in a few. I want to see if Tohr is done with Sax yet."

…

Chairs now lined both sides of the hall from the classroom where Blay was being operated on all the way to the Gym doors. Qhuinn was speechless at the show of support from the Brothers. All the Brothers and _shellan_ were here. King Wrath and Tohr had joined them a few minutes ago.

The King had glanced in his direction a few times. Qhuinn wonder what was up. Thinking he probably looked near death himself. Everyone had been looking at him.

"Qhuinn," said Saxton, "Are you okay?"

"Fine, Sax." Qhuinn said for the hundredth time.

"Boys, come with me," Tohr said. "Wrath wants a private word with you."

Qhuinn and Sax followed Tohr into a classroom.

"Qhuinn, I apologize for the timing," Wrath started, "But I need to ask you something time sensitive."

"What's up boss?" Qhuinn asked the King trying to sound like himself and not the basket case he was right now.

"Syhren is going to need to feed when she awakens," Wrath stated.

"Then she's made it through surgery?" Sax asked.

"Not yet, but I refuse to believe otherwise," Wrath said with conviction. "She is strong and a fighter. But what I want to know is will you two be willing to feed her?"

"I'll feed her," Tohr said from his place by the door.

"Tohr, I would never ask this of you. Are you sure you can handle this?" Wrath asked.

"If that had been Wellsie on that table and I was dead, Darius would have done this for me. He was my closest friend. More of a father to me than my own. I **will do** this for his _shellan_." That was the most emotion Qhuinn had seen out of Tohr since his return.

"Then I honor you request," Wrath agreed. "But I think she may need more than you can safely give. I want at least two males available to her. I had actually planned on talking to V and Rhage too."

"I'll do it, sire," Saxton said. "I would be honored to be of service to such a female of worth. Also that will make two of us; therefore, Qhuinn won't have to leave Blay."

"Thank you, Saxton," Wrath said, "Again we owe you much."

They all started for the door.

"I'm not a total asshole you know," Qhuinn heard himself saying, "I can feed her too. I just, if it's possible, I really don't want to leave Blay until he's awake and I'm sure he's okay."

Wrath waved Tohr and Sax on out. "Son, if I had thought that Tohr could have done this I would never have asked you. And before you go all defensive on me, it's not because I don't think you're worthy. The **only** reason is if it was Beth on that table next door right now I sure as hell wouldn't be anywhere other than here. Not even a few hundred yards away in another room. Hell I doubt they'd keep me out of the O.R. without having to have the Brothers sit on me."

"Thank you."

"Hey, don't worry about it, you're one of us, both of you are. True?"

"True," Qhuinn said back and returned to his place in the hall. He now had even more respect for his king.

…

Manny was putting in the last few stitches into Blay's chest. If he healed as fast as Payne they'll be able to take them out in a day or so. This species' physiology was so very fascinating.

"Ehlena, let's get him cleaned up and covered. I want Jane or Havers to check him over before we bring him out of the anesthesia."

"That's a good idea, doctor," Ehlena responded. "You had to do an awful lot of digging around to get those bullets out of him."

They had managed to clean him up pretty well as they spoke. She was right; he couldn't remember the last time he'd seen that much ricochet damage. Those four little bullets had bounced all over Blay's chest cavity ripping little holes here and there. He had done so many stitches in the last fives hours he had lost count.

"Manny, I can finish here, why don't you go get Havers? You can help Jane for a bit, because as bad as poor Blay was that female is worse."

"Sounds fine," he said, taking off his surgery mask, smock and gloves.

When he walked out into the hall it was full of people, err… vampires. He only knew a few of the faces. Still every one of them was all looking at him.

"He's done very well," Manny started. "He had a large amount of internal damage, but I've removed all the bullets and fragments and stitched everything up."

"Can I see him?" The guy asking had short spiky dark hair, a dog chain around his neck and visible piercings that amounted to more metal than he had just pulled from Blay's chest.

"Not yet, I still have him sedated. I had to open his chest which is major and he's lost a lot of blood. I want Havers to check him out first. I'm on my way to get him now. I want someone more familiar with your species there when he's brought around. I understand he'll need to feed and I don't have any experience in that," he explained.

"Thanks Doc," the man still seemed full of worry though. "He's okay though?"

"As far as I can tell, but I'm not use to you guys, and as good as I am on humans I don't want to chance anything with Blay. That's why I'm going to trade places with Havers."

…

Qhuinn thanked the Scribe Virgin that Blay had survived surgery. But Dr. Manello was worried about him waking up and he didn't like that.

He just wanted to see Blay. He needed to see Blay. No matter how many times they said Blay was fine, doing well, or whatever; he wouldn't believe it until he saw the male for himself. He had been so scared at the sight of Blay's blood back in that hall he hadn't remembered the look on Blay's face until much later. Now he was worried. Blay had looked so disappointed in him in that moment that Qhuinn was wondering just how hard it was going to be to win Blay back.

This, today, had proven a few things to him. First, he was abso-fucking-lutely nothing without Blay. Sitting out in this hall just the thought he might lose Blay made it hard to breathe. Hard to think. Hard to talk. Hard to just plain function. If this is what it felt like just thinking Blay might die, Qhuinn had a whole new respect for Tohrment. That Brother was one strong motherfucker.

Second, he had been the biggest fucking asshole in history to Blay. He had denied this thing between them until he had almost ruined it or may be he had ruined it. Scribe Virgin, he hoped he hadn't pushed Blay's love beyond redemption. He had known there wasn't anyone for him but Blay since that first kiss down in the training center. He had wasted so much time making excuses; he hoped that he wasn't out of it.

And third, his dreams weren't even his dreams. Fuck, he'd realized these last few weeks that what he was trying to convince himself what he wanted, had been yet another way to try and earn his parents approval. He didn't know why he had tried to hold on to that. His family didn't love him, never did and made it very clear before they passed into the Fade they never would. So fuck them, he had Blay, Blay had always loved him and if he hadn't ran out of time maybe he always would.

"Dearest Scribe Virgin don't let me be out of time. I can't live without him," Qhuinn whispered his prayer not caring is any of the others heard him.

…

Havers hated being at this place. He didn't like any of the people here. Not in rank, but in their very character they were beneath him. But he owed them. They had saved his life and so many others last year when his clinic had been attacked.

He walked quickly across the gym. He wanted to see to Blaylock and then get someone to take him home. He didn't want to deal with the King or his sister or her mate or any of them really. He understood the necessity of the Brotherhood, but they were so uncivilized and so below the females of worth they had been taking for _shellans_ and mixing with the company of humans.

He opened the door of the gym and inhaled sharply. Every last one of them was in the hall. It must be true then, the Brotherhood considered Blaylock and that disgrace Qhuinn part of their own. He kept his eyes to himself and made his way to the classroom Blay was in.

As he reached for the door knob he heard a voice, "Can I come in with you?"

He turned around; it was Qhuinn who had spoken. "It would be best if you didn't. However I will need the female he is to feed from."

The Primale Phury stepped forward. "I have brought two of the Chosen for him."

"Ladies if you please, I would like to get this over with," Havers said.

"I go with them," Phury replied. "And Qhuinn comes too."

"No he does not," Havers said forcefully. Qhuinn's eyes had always made him very uncomfortable. He did not understand why his family hadn't disowned him the moment he had transitioned and still had those eyes. He had been such a burden on his family and then to go and murder his cousin Lash. It was unbelievable that such a male of worth had been sent to the Fade by one so unworthy as Qhuinn. "You three are necessary, he is not."

"He is and I command it," Wrath said in a harsh voice rising to his feet to stand by Qhuinn.

"If that is an order, very well then," Havers may not like his King but knew better than to disobey him. He had crossed him once and nearly lost everything he had, including his life.

"Qhuinn get in there with your boy," Wrath said squeezing the younger males shoulder.


	15. Chapter 15

**I do not own any part of the Black Dagger Brotherhood. All of that greatness is the work of the amazing J R Ward.**

**As of 5-22-12 the wonderful GothicBelle has beta'ed this for me. Hopefully this is now easier to read.**

**I hope everyone enjoys.**

**Chapter Fifteen**

Qhuinn practically ran Havers down getting to Blay's side. He looked awful. He was so very pale for a second Qhuinn thought the worse, and then Blay took a breath and Qhuinn let his out. He was still breathing, but barely. He had a tube coming out of his mouth, an I.V. in his arm; all kinds of wires stuck to his bandaged chest and damn even a catheter bag hung on the side of the bed. It was his prayers answered and a fucking nightmare at the same time.

Qhuinn took Blay's free hand in his, "Blay I'm here. I'm going to stay right here."

"Actually Qhuinn, I need you to move away from the bed so I can check him out. Then perhaps I can bring him around and get back to the clinic, where I'm needed," Havers said.

Qhuinn didn't like the doc's fucking tone. Blay was more important than anything he had going on back at his damn clinic. Qhuinn was just about to go off on Havers when Phury clasped his shoulder. "Come on, Qhuinn, so Havers can do his job **right**," Phury stared right at Havers the whole time and Qhuinn appreciated the threat in the male's voice.

Havers went to work poking and prodding Blay. He checked out some x-rays still hung on the wall. Looked over the machines connected to Blay, he even checked out the piss bag. All while the other four watched in silence.

"He seems well. I am going to go ahead and cut the anesthesia off. Then I am going to remove the tube from his throat. When I do that I need one of the Chosen waiting to place her wrist on his mouth immediately. Are we clear?"

"Yes," they all said together.

"I will go first," said Amalya. "He maybe rough the first time. Males severely injured often are."

"I'll be right by your side," Phury said moving with her.

"It would be best if you stayed back," Havers said a little irritated at not being obeyed.

"I will not have one of my Chosen hurt," Phury stood by Amalya on the far side of the gurney.

"Fine," Havers moved to one of the machines and messed with it. Once the machine was off he stepped to Blay and pulled the tube from his mouth. Qhuinn held his breath yet again and waited for Blay to breathe. Amalya placed her hand over his mouth. Qhuinn saw his chest rising and falling own its own. But nothing else, Blay wasn't feeding.

"What's wrong?" Qhuinn asked, stepping forward in his panic.

"Stay back," Havers snapped in a raised voice, just short of yelling. "Chosen," he said looking at Selena. "Get over there and help your sister."

Selena ran to Amalya's side. "What should I do?"

"Put some of your blood under his nose," Havers said as if she should know exactly what to do.

"Here," said Phury. "Give me your hand."

Blay watched as Phury picked up a scalpel from a tray and slice the end of her finger.

"Now put it under his nose. Amalya be careful," he warned and stepped back to give them more room.

Selena did as instructed and, without actually seeming to come to, Blay struck hard and ripped into Amalya's wrist. She gasped in pain, but never flinched, never broke contact with Blay's fangs. He drank from her hard and long. Qhuinn never looked away and when Havers backed away he took his place and held Blay's hand again.

"It's okay, baby, take what you need. We won't let you hurt her and there's another Chosen if you need more," Qhuinn spoke softly to him even though he wasn't sure if Blay could hear him. "We're going to make sure you have everything you need. You just drink. That's it, baby, keep it up."

After a few minutes Amalya said, "Selena we need to switch."

Qhuinn pinched Blay's nose shut so that he would release Amalya. As soon as Selena moved into place Qhuinn let go and Blay sunk his fangs into her wrist. Qhuinn looked around to check on Amalya and noticed Havers had left.

"Primale, I think he is going to need more than just the two of us," Amalya admitted while Phury sealed her wrist.

"Layla is out in the hall with No'One. Send her in on your way out. I want you to go back to the Camp and bring back a few more Chosen. Better yet send Cormia and you rest, I think you let him take too much."

"He was in such need and I just wanted to help," she bowed her head.

"Thank you," Qhuinn said. "Thank you both so very much. I can never repay you for what you are doing today."

Amalya blushed and went into the hall.

…

"Hello, No'One," Layla said taking the empty chair by her sister. "How have you been?"

Layla never heard her answer. She had found Qhuinn again in his chair on down the hall. He didn't look well. She thought that his loyalty and worry over his friend was a lovely quality. Even as worn out and tired as he looked he was still the most sexually appealing male she had met to date. He had been letting her practice her kissing skills with him after his feedings. It was very nice; he seemed very talented at it. He had even let her sleep in his bed a few times. She was sure that next time he fed he would take her. She was very excited at the idea. To finally be used for what she was trained for. The thought had filled her head the last week, knowing that he would have to feed again soon.

"Layla," No'One interrupted her thoughts. "Layla you're not even listening to me."

"I'm sorry. I guess I just drifted off."

No'One looked at her with knowing eyes, "Which male were you thinking about?"

"I wasn't… I mean… No one in particular," Layla really needed to work on her lying skills.

"Yes you were. Now tell me what male you were thinking of."

"Qhuinn," Layla said watching him speak to the doctor called Havers.

"Qhuinn?" No'One said like it was inconceivable for her to think of him.

Did she think he wasn't worthy of her or the she wasn't worthy of him.

"Yes, Qhuinn, he is a very desirable male. He likes me very much you know," she said watching him go into the operating room with Havers and the Primale. Two of her sisters went in as well. "Perhaps they need me," she went to stand.

No'One put her hand on her arm and stopped her. "They will call for you if you are needed," she paused for a bit and just stared at Layla. "My dear, you must know that Qhuinn cares for Blaylock very deeply."

"Of course he does. They are the best of friends. They've grown up together, transitioned together and trained together. They are soldiers of the King together," Layla stated with much pride in her voice. Qhuinn would make a lovely _hellern_ one day. Layla was sure with the way he'd been treating her that perhaps she too, like Cormia, could have a mate.

The two sat in silence for a long time.

"Layla, dear, I really do think you underestimate the feelings those two males have for each other," No'One said. "They love each other."

"Of course they do. They are like brothers. Plus anyone who get's to know Qhuinn would love him. He is absolutely wonderful."

Layla didn't know what No'One was shaking her head at.

"Layla," the Directrix said. "You are needed in the operating room."

Excited to be useful she rushed forward. Perhaps Qhuinn will have a special thank you for her if she helped Blay.

…

Layla entered the room as quietly as possible. The Primale was standing against the wall behind Selena. Qhuinn was on the opposite side of Blaylock. Layla slowly crossed the room and stood by Selena.

"Thank you for doing this, Layla," Qhuinn said to her never looking away from Blaylock.

"I am glad to be of service, sire," she replied.

Layla took the sight of Qhuinn in. His dark hair was getting a little long; she wished she had had the courage to touch it already. She just knew it had to be soft. He had a fine profile but she wished he would look at her. She loved his eyes. She had never understood how something so beautiful could be considered a defect. His jaw looked a little rough like he needed to shave. She knew from experience that if she kissed him now her face would be irritated. Her gaze continued down and she took in his bicep. She loved the way the muscles of his arms and back flexed as he moved. Watching him had become a bit of sport for her. She would hang around after feeding the other Brothers just so she could catch a glimpse or two of him. One night she had followed him down to the gym and had watched him run on the treadmill through the little glass window in the door. She had watched the way his muscles flexed and moved as he ran on the machine. It had made her feel very warm inside.

She continued her study of him at the bed side. As her eyes traveled down she saw that he was holding Blaylock's hand in one of his and the other hand was on Blaylock's head. Qhuinn was rubbing his thumb back and forth on Blaylock's forehead in a soothing motion. It seemed so thoughtful, but still didn't sit well with her. She didn't like Qhuinn touching Blaylock like that. So tender and loving, that was what she wanted.

"Blay, I know your hungry," Qhuinn said. "But you need to let Selena go. Come on."

When Blaylock didn't respond Qhuinn pinched his nose shut and soon the male withdrew his fangs from Selena's wrist.

"Selena, thank you so very much for your gift," Qhuinn said.

"Selena, come I'll take you back to the Camp," Phury said after sealing her wounds. "Layla, Qhuinn, let's give him a few minutes and then see if he will feed from Layla without the help."

"Yea, sounds good my man," Qhuinn responded, trying to smile at Phury. "Thanks for everything."

"It was nothing," Phury said as he and Selena left.

Layla watched the two leave then turned back to Qhuinn. His focus was again on Blaylock. This time when she looked at them she got a burning feeling in her stomach. She had felt this once before when Cormia had mated the Primale. She was jealous of Blaylock.

Surely not, there was no reason to be jealous of a male. She should be proud of Qhuinn for being such a good friend. Loyalty was an important trait in a mate. And the one thing she had learned being around the Brotherhood is that she wanted a real bonded mate, not just a _hellern._ She wanted it all and just knew that Qhuinn was the male to give it to her.

"Blay, baby, you're looking so much better," Qhuinn spoke so gently to Blaylock. His voice was so soft and sweet, Layla had never heard him like that. And she didn't think she liked him talking to Blaylock like that. She didn't like it at all.

"He looks very well to me," Layla said. Wanting to point out how silly she thought Qhuinn was being. "His coloring looks normal to me."

"Not really, if you look at his lips you can tell. They're still a couple shades too light. And his cheeks right here," Qhuinn drew his finger softly and slowly over a spot on the other male's cheek. "They're normally the palest shade of pink, not pasty like this. They turn almost as red as his hair with he blushes. It's beautiful."

"Oh," Layla said. Not knowing what else to say. A male didn't use the word beautiful for his best friend. He didn't call another man beautiful at all. "Oh," Layla said with a little shock and a lot of surprise. "You, you…" Layla's voice rose. She really didn't want to believe it.

"Layla?" Qhuinn looked at her, "Oh, shit, Layla." He had an expression like a light bulb just popped on in his head. "I was going to talk to you about this. I swear. It's just he got hurt, shit, Layla I'm sorry."

"Sorry," she was a lot louder, close to yelling. "You're like Will. How could you do this?"

"Like Will, who's Will?" Qhuinn was confused.

"Will. On the T.V. On _Will & Grace._ You like other males. But, you. . . you kissed me." She was mad, really mad.

"But I **love** Blay. I always have, Layla. What I did with you was unfair, even though you asked for it and wanted it. I was in denial, but that doesn't change the fact that I was wrong. Hell, Layla I've spent most of my time since transitioning having sex. Males and females. Vampire and human. That's all it was though. Just sex. Blay is the only being I've ever loved." Half way through his speech he starting looking at Blay not Layla.

"Then why do things with me?" Layla asked, her burst of anger was waning.

"You're perfect and it's want you wanted. Layla you are everything a male should want. Beautiful, smart, classy, and caring. You were everything I told myself I wanted. The perfect _shellan._ The only thing is no matter how hard I tried the feelings just aren't there. And if I can't love you, I'm never going to love anyone, but Blay. It has always been him. And the other night I woke up and realized that I was pissing it all away and I needed him. That I am nothing without him. Layla, I truly am sorry for what you thought was happening."

Layla was crying, full blown bawling. Between ragged breathes she asked, "What is so wrong with me. Will no male every want me? I've trained my whole life to please males sexually, so why will no one use me?"

She turned and ran from the room never wanting to see either of the two males again.


	16. Chapter 16

**I do not own any part of the Black Dagger Brotherhood. All of that greatness is the work of the amazing J R Ward.**

**As of 5-22-12 the wonderful GothicBelle has beta'ed this for me. Hopefully this is now easier to read.**

**I hope everyone enjoys.**

**Chapter Sixteen**

Qhuinn felt awful about Layla and would have chased after her if not for Blay. He wasn't leaving Blay for anything. He knew his place now and by this male of worth is where he belonged.

"Wise decision."

Qhuinn looked up to see the Scribe Virgin standing, actually floating, in the center of the room. He'd really fucked up this time. The mess with Layla was going to be the death of him.

"This meeting has nothing to do with Layla. I would love to explain her away as naïve, but sometimes she's just a clueless twit."

Qhuinn almost choked on his shock. He had always held Layla in high regard. Had always thought her a bright girl. Really she caught on quickly with most things.

"Oh, she's smart enough. It just irritates me that she has a stubborn one tract mind. It blinds her to the truth if it does not flow with her plans. If she had not had her blinders on where you were concerned she would have seen this from the beginning. Anyone who has seen the way the two of you look at each other knows the truth."

'_Fuck, am I the only one that didn't get it?'_ Qhuinn thought as he watched the Scribe Virgin float up to the other side of the bed and look down at Blay. '_Oh, hell no, she could be here to take Blay away.'_

"Qhuinn do you love him?"

"Yes, with my whole heart," his voice full of emotion.

"What does he mean to you?"

"Everything," he answered without hesitation.

"What would you do to keep him here?"

"Anything," and he abso-fucking-lutely meant it.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes, anything," he said with every once of determination he had in him.

"Your life?"

"Yes." His was nothing compared to Blay's.

"You would forfeit your life to me?"

"Without hesitation, without regret."

"Good. Now I can't make him love you, that is up to you to accomplish. If he will still have you will you wish to mate him?"

"I haven't thought that far ahead. Wou…"

"No questions," she snapped. "You warriors must really learn your places," she moved away from the bed. "I told Blaylock the terms of my blessing. When the time is right have him explain."

Qhuinn bowed his head to her, "Thank you so very much, Scribe Virgin."

"Remember all this when payment is due," with that she faded away.

"Baby," Qhuinn hadn't realized he was using the term of affection until Layla's reaction earlier, but he liked the way it felt on his lips. "Baby, I meant every word I said to her. You are my everything. You and me from here on out. You're the one for me. You and only you," Qhuinn kissed Blay's cheek and spoke into his ear. "So, Baby, wake the fuck up already."

…

Doc Jane and Manello had just finished with Syhren a few minutes ago. She had decided that it was too risky to take Syhren off the ventilator for a while and so they will keep her sedated for a few hours before trying to feed her.

Wrath had called Fritz to bring the young down to see their mother. Doc Jane and Beth had made sure Syhren was presentable. Having sent Doc Jane on out to check on Vishous herself, Beth was still fussing over Syhren.

"You know, Wrath, I swear her hair is as black as yours is. Okay that's as good as it's going to get." Beth finished smoothing the sheet and checked that all the wires where covered up. They didn't want to upset the young any more than necessary.

"So I have two brothers now," she said crossing to Wrath and standing between his legs. "It just goes to show you really are the best thing that ever happened to me." She wrapped her arms around his neck and gave him a slow kiss. "You've gave me love and family and a real home. I love you."

"Oh, _leelan_, you've given me all that and more. You've made me the male and king I'm suppose to be." His kissed her back.

Beth eased away from Wrath and went back to Syhren side. "She must hate me. How could Darius treat her like that?"

"She doesn't hate you. Fritz said she always wanted to meet you. He said their relationship was similar to what Marissa and I had. It wasn't sexual."

"Then explain that little boy upstairs. And what about John, did she know about him?"

"Fritz won't comment on Wahr, and as for John, no one knew about John until Mary and Bella found him."

"So when she wakes up she's going to have to deal with the fact Darius had yet another child with another woman. Wrath, what has he done to her? Hidden her from the world, practically used her as a blood slave, and taking her from her only home at the time she had to deal with losing him and having his child. The more I learn the less I understand my father." Beth was now pacing in little circles around the room.

"Darius always had a noble reason behind everything he did. He was the greatest male of worth I knew. Beth, please, _leelan_ trust me on this. There has to be a reason, a good one. I pray that the Scribe Virgin reveals it to us soon."

…

Fritz led Tolliver, Eva and the young to the Training Center PT/First aid room. After tonight's events King Wrath ordered that a full medical wing be constructed down here. Fritz could not agree more and was going to get to work on it first thing tomorrow.

Fritz paused just outside the door, "Lady Syhren is right through this door. Remember Doctor Jane has given her medicine to keep her asleep and that we have to stay on this side of her bed. Doctor Jane said we my touch her hand, but nothing else. Wahr, Ahnger is that clear?"

"Yes, sir," they answered in unison.

The two young were so respectful. It made pride for his mistress swell in his heart. He stepped forward and opened the door. He went through first and held the door for the others. Once they were all in he looked to the bed. Lady Syhren was far too pale. Far too near death for his liking.

"Your Majesties," Fritz said. "I present to you the young of Syhren. The eldest son, Wahr son of Darius; the younger son, Ahnger, son of Dunnhill; and her daughter Mariah. Also this is Tolliver and Eva, her most loyal servants and companions."

"We are very honored to meet the family of such a worthy female," King Wrath rose to his feet and bowed his head to them.

"Oh, your Majesty," Eva sounded flustered. "Thank you. Thank you for sending the Brothers to save us. We owe you our lives."

…

"You owe us nothing. We only did our duty," Wrath paused stepping forward and with George's guidance kneeled before the boys. "Your mother is the one responsible for saving you. Remember this always, she lies there because her love for you is so great she fought fiercely and forcefully for you. She put your well being above her own," Wrath paused again calming himself as to not scare the young. His emotions had caused his voice to rise. "Always remember this night." Wrath removed himself to the corner of the room and sat with George at his side, pulling Beth into his lap. He wanted the family to have plenty of room, but was unwilling to remove himself from the room.

When he had been speaking to the boys it had made him think of his own mother and father. They had fought to the death to save him. He did not want the same for these young.

Tightening his grip on Beth he whispered, "Dearest Scribe Virgin let her live. Let her live for those young. She is strong and fierce, she deserves to live. She has too much left in this world to go into the Fade. May it be your will to spare her and speed her recovery along."

"That was a beautiful prayer," Beth said and kissed his forehead.

…

"Excuse me sire, did Doctor Jane say how long my Lady must sleep?" Fritz asked.

"She is going to check her every twenty to thirty minutes. She hasn't given us a set time yet."

"Jane wants to make sure she's given enough time for her stomach to heal before we feed her. Plus if anything happens she can be here in seconds," Beth added.

"Of course," Fritz responded. "I am worried is all."

The boys took turns holding their mother's hand and telling her they loved her. Little Mariah was doing her best to get lose from Eva. Fritz was afraid Eva had had enough for the night. Her eyes were full of unshed tears. "Wahr, Ahnger come along. We have much to pray about before bed and you both still need your baths." Eva left with the young and Queen Beth followed.

King Wrath stayed where he was. Fritz did not mind, he was King and could do as he pleased. Even if he was not King he would not have minded. He was proud that his mistress had already earned such respect from their King.

Fritz took Tolliver by the hand and led him for the door. "Your Majesty, is there anything I may do for you?"

"Yes, Fritz, send a _doggen _down here. I have a few things that need taken care of and you old friend need to rest. Tonight has been far too long and way too stressful. Rest or visit with your friends but please no more work until tomorrow night."

"I am fine my Lord, but will do as you wish," Fritz pulled Tolliver into the hall.

"Come Tolly, all will be well. She is in the best of care. Doctor Jane is the finest doctor I have ever seen. Lady Ehlena is a highly trained nurse and Queen Beth and Lady Mary are fine at a bedside as well. I have a feeling his Majesty will not be leaving that room anytime soon. Plus not a soul in this household would miss informing us of any changes. Here we are all family," Fritz wrapped one arm around his lover's waist as they walked down the hall.

"He seems to be a fine Master. How is he compared to dear Master Darius?" Tolliver asked putting his arm around Fritz's shoulders.

"His is as fine and honorable. I would venture to say the only difference is their manners. His Majesty is not quite as refined as Master Darius was."

They walked down the rest of the tunnel in silence. Fritz was full of contentment. He had missed Tolliver so very much. And though he regretted that Lady Syhren had to be injured and endangered to bring them home he was still happy they were here. Most happy, more than happy to have Tolliver home.

"Love, do you wish to have a room close to Eva and the young to sleep in today?" Fritz asked not wanting to assume that Tolliver would stay with him in their old room.

"Eva has more help than she can use. She has no need of me. And I am in great need of you." Tolliver's words made him smile.

"And I you, five years is far, far too long to be separated from you," Fritz kissed his lover and punched in the code for the door. He was very much in a hurry to return to his room and _rest_.


	17. Chapter 17

**I do not own any part of the Black Dagger Brotherhood. All of that greatness is the work of the amazing J R Ward.**

**As of 5-22-12 the wonderful GothicBelle has beta'ed this for me. Hopefully this is now easier to read.**

**I hope everyone enjoys.**

**Chapter Seventeen**

Payne hated this room, hated being trapped. That bastard of a doctor had her on bed rest. Payne didn't like being trapped in a room, let alone in a bed. When they had moved her up here she had tried to get up and hurt part of her back again. Dr. Manello had had to go back it and fix it again. She didn't care how damn good looking he was, he was a total pain in the ass. Now they didn't leave her alone, there was a _doggen_ in the room at all times and if she tried to get up Dr. Bitch magically appeared and shot her up with something. Damn ghost. Payne hated her because she couldn't fight her. Jane, her brother's _shellan_, was only as solid as she wanted to be. Pissed Payne off beyond belief that she couldn't get her hands on her.

There was a knock at the door. Speak of the Devil. She looked at the bedside clock, right on time just like always. "Manello, you can just turned the fuck around and disappear. I'm not in the fucking mood right now," she yelled through the door. She just wasn't in the mood for him no matter how tall, dark and handsome he thought he was.

The door opened anyways. "Sorry to disappoint you, Sis." Vishous entered the room and took his usual chair by the bed. The _doggen_ got up from her seat by the shuttered window and left the two alone in the room.

"What are you doing here so early in the day?" She asked, her tone still sharp. She liked that Vishous visited her, but didn't like that he could read mines. So not fair. From what she'd learned since coming to the Brotherhood's mansion, her brother had several gifts from their mother. Where as she truly took after their father.

"Nursing duty. The others are either busy or getting some much deserved rest. So I'm going to get you up and supervise your walk this morning."

"Been busy down stairs tonight? One of you boys break a nail swatting at each other?" She didn't know why but she was just extra pissed today and might as well take in out on someone.

"Actually Jane and Manello each had a patient and we called Havers in to patch me and a _doggen_ up."

"What happened?" Payne asked sorry she had missed the action. They really needed to let her out of here soon. She so needed to train.

"_Lessers_ attacked a civilian home. A female, three young and two _doggen_. One of the _doggen_ took a bullet trying to hold the _lessers_ off, waiting on us."

"A _doggen_ fighting?"

"He was defending his home and his mistress. _Doggen_ may not be born fighters like we are, but they will defend what is theirs same as anyone," Vishous said while motioning for her to get out of bed. "Come on now, you can walk and talk at the same time, can't you? I'd like to catch a little more shut eye before the day's over."

He did look a little tired now that she paid attention. She got up and started her pacing. She really hated this room. "Who else got hurt?"

"Well I took two to the leg. It's all good though. Blay's pretty bad. He took four in the back saving my ass and they bounced all over the place but Manny's taking great care of him. I'm not worried, this ain't how he goes," V paused and poured himself a glass of water and took a large drink. "Should have brought some Goose with me."

Payne paused. She hated when people drifted off subject. She preferred the facts and with as little chit-chat as possible. "Who is the other Brother that got hurt?"

"It wasn't a Brother, it was the female. She's the worst of all. Her name's Syhren. I have to say she's earned my respect. She dematerialized in the courtyard asking for our help. When I suggested she stay here she laid my ass out, took my guns, and dematerialized right back into the fight. Seven bullets and a nasty stab wound. But she took out nine _lessers _on her own. Bad ass chick, right up your alley," Vishous said with a grin. "She pretty too, has the loveliest lavender eyes."

'_Damn it, V, stay out of my head.'_ He had to have picked up on the lavender thing last time he visited. No'One and Layla had been by just before him that day and Layla had been wearing lavender robes. Now Payne couldn't get the color out of her head.

"Nine _lessers_?" That was impressive. Even for a male nine in one fight would be impressive. And lavender eyes, that was unusual.

"It impressed me too, however sister dear, with modern warfare we should be able to take out larger numbers. It's the need for secrecy in the passed that has kept our fights small. We have worked hard not to attract the attention of humans."

"We shouldn't concern ourselves with humans. They are nothing compared to us," Payne had never seen the importance of keeping themselves secret. They were far superior to the human race.

"And they far out number us," V stated. "The female was the Brother Darius's secret _shellan_. Not a one of us knew about her. What worries me is I haven't seen her in any of my visions. Nothing, not even her death," he paused and looked at the door. "You want to walk in the hall for a while?"

"Sure," it beat the fuck out of staying in here. The thought of a female who could hold her own and has lavender eyes intrigued her. "Darius is deceased, isn't he?"

"We lost him over five years ago now. Why?" V had a hint of a grin on his face again. Just as they made it out the door V's phone went off.

"Yes, be right there," V hung up and motioned for the _doggen_ to join them. "I've got business with the King. She can walk up and down the hall a few times and then back to bed. If she gives you any trouble," he looked at the _doggen_, "you know what to do. Sister mine, do not make me regret this. Those eyes can wait."

'_Fuck you and your mind reading, asshole,'_ she thought as he walked away.

He just laughed at her as he rounded the corner.

…

"Warrior, you waste your time here, go run your kingdom."

Shit. Wrath didn't like what the Scribe Virgin just said.

"I can not believe it is your will to send her into the Fade," he voiced.

"That has never been my plan. She has great things to do in this world. My words were meant to comfort."

Wrath was relieved. "Thank you."

"And a warning, royal blood is precious. No matter how much blood she needs or how much you want to help, royal blood does not touch her lips. In this I will not be disobeyed."

Wrath bowed his head and spoke cautiously hoping his anger could not be heard, "As you command."

And as quickly as she appeared she was gone.

…

Most everyone had been in to check on Blay before settling in for the day. Wrath had just been by and now V was in checking him over.

"So Nurse Vishous, how's he doing?" Qhuinn asked.

"You want to keep your teeth, pretty boy, can the nurse shit right now," V said with that wicked grin the Brother got before throwing down. "Your boy is doing great. Stats are all good. He's just sleeping and that's good. He'll heal faster this way."

"Is he going to need to feed again, you think?"

"I'm sure of it, but Phury has Pheonia staying over in case he wakes anytime soon."

"That's good," Qhuinn said sitting back down and taking Blay's hand again. He massaged it between his own. He liked the way their hands looked together.

"I've got to check on Syhren, but I'll be in and out a few more times before Ehlena takes over watch duty," V headed for the door.

"Hey man, seriously, thanks for everything," Qhuinn spoke from his place by Blay.

"It's nothing, you guys are part of us now. You're family. Besides he took those bullets covering my ass. Only wish I could do more."

When V left Qhuinn turned back to Blay. "I'm so happy you're going to be okay. I have so much to prove to you, baby. I love you. You're my best friend. You know me inside and out, even better than I know myself," he reached up and swept Blay's hair away from his eyes again.

"I'm not saying this is going to be easy. I have a lot of shit to still deal with, but Blay as long as I have you to love me I can do anything. Of course as hard headed as I am it's going to be a long and rough road." Qhuinn pressed a kiss to his forehead. "I'm going to tell you everyday just how much you mean to me and how much I love you, baby."

…

Blay was too shocked and scared to open his eyes. He had woken up to Qhuinn's voice. His mouth was dry and his eye lids felt like sandpaper. Just as he was about to ask for water Qhuinn's words had hit him. Shit to deal with, rough road. Then Qhuinn had kissed his forehead. It had taken everything in him not to move when his lips touched him. His body betrayed him with the jolt those lips gave him. Then Qhuinn had said he loved him.

"Asshole," Blay was barely able to whisper as he opened his eyes.

Qhuinn knocked something over as he jumped to your feet, "You're awake, thank the Virgin."

Blay noticed that his hand was tingling and looked at it. Qhuinn was holding it. He hated the way his body responded to him. He pulled it away trying to sit up.

"Baby, you can't get up," Qhuinn said pushing him back down by the shoulders ever so gently. The ease of this upset Blay a little. He couldn't believe how weak he was. "Doc's got to check you out first," Qhuinn said pushing some button on the side of the bed.

"What happened?" All Blay remembered was the look of fear on Qhuinn's face before he had fainted.

"You got shot, baby, when you ran from the garage to the house. V, Phury, and Z all feel real bad that they didn't notice. It wasn't until I hugged you and smeared blood on your face that we knew anything was wrong. You collapsed in my arms," Qhuinn seemed genuinely concerned. Blay felt like a truck ran him over.

"A bullet made me feel this bad?"

"Four and they bounced all over inside you. Doc Manello work on you for five hours. Baby, that was the worst five hours of my life. I never want to go through that again," Blay saw real fear in his eyes. '_Damn,'_ he thought.

"Fuck you," Blay was starting to feel like that truck was parked on his chest. He really didn't want to deal with any of Qhuinn's pathetic guilt induced 'I love you cause you almost died' shit right now. "And I'm not your fucking 'baby' so can that shit right now," V came in just in time to catch that last line.

Blay avoided Qhuinn and looked at V. "Man, can I get some water. My throat feels like a Brillo pad."

Qhuinn had backed to the door. "I'll get it," he told V and walked out.

"You shouldn't be that hard on him," Vishous said. "It's not guilt."

"I don't need this right now. I feel like shit and I don't want his pity, got it?" Qhuinn was not something he wanted to discuss right now or anytime soon for that matter.

"Jane is finishing up with a patient at Safe Place, but she'll be here as soon as she can. She wants to examine you before we give you anything for the pain," V explained. Then looking Blay dead in the eye said, "And it's not pity."

"You don't know him like I do. He doesn't love me like I love him. To him I'm just his best friend, a brother at best. He's pulls this 'he wants me' bullshit when he's afraid he'll lose me. And what went on with me today just scared him more than usual."

"He really does love you and want you. The time apart made him realize that you're more than a friend. Hell, I'd call you two soul mates."

"V, I appreciate your concern, but I've come to terms that what I need from him I'll never get. But I won't leave him, I already promised that much to Butch. I'm a sick masochistic ass and will always be here okay?"

"Blay you need to open your heart again."

"There isn't anything left to open, he made sure of that," Blay knew he sounded bitter and frankly that's because he was.

There was a knock on the door and it eased open. "Master Qhuinn sent me," the Chosen Pheonia said as she carried a tray with a glass and pitcher in. "He thought that after you had some water that you may need to feed again."

'_Damn him, damn him to Hell_,' Blay thought. '_Fucking hope springs eternal.'_ "Not this time," he vowed out loud.


	18. Chapter 18

**I do not own any part of the Black Dagger Brotherhood. All of that greatness is the work of the amazing J R Ward.**

**As of 5-22-12 the wonderful GothicBelle has beta'ed this for me. Hopefully this is now easier to read.**

**I hope everyone enjoys.**

**Chapter Eighteen**

Qhuinn slowly made his way upstairs after sending Pheonia to Blay. He went to Blay's room. He crossed the room to the dresser to get Blay a set of his gym clothes to change into. He ran his hand across the cherry finish. It was just over a month ago right here he had pinned Blay with that crushing kiss. His bonding scent had poured off of him that night. Just the thought of Blay's hard chest pressed into him and the taste of his mouth as they collided had him hard against his zipper.

"If I had just done what I had wanted that damn night we wouldn't be here right now. I'm always in my own fucking way."

Qhuinn paced the room. Not a single thing out of place. "He's perfect," Qhuinn whispered as he ran his hand over Blay's side of the bed. He picked the book up off the night stand, thinking Blay might need something to do. Something fell to the floor. It was a jeweler's box. He couldn't help but look, "Fuck." Qhuinn stared at the cuffs a moment before putting them back on the night stand.

"He's _mine_," Qhuinn growled. Time and patience and he'd win Blay over. Those cuffs were proof he hadn't lost yet.

Qhuinn took one more look around, took a deep breath and headed for John Matthew's room.

When John opened the door Qhuinn held out Blay's stuff to him. "Blay's awake, you can take these to him."

John signed, "You okay?"

"He's really pissed with me right now. And I get it, I really do. I just don't want to upset him any more right now. I'm just gonna go chill in my room for a while."

God, he felt pathetic right now. Things would get better, they had to. He was going to fight for this, for them. But first Blay had to finish recovering, Qhuinn wasn't about to do a damn thing to jeopardize his recovery.

"You have to go back," John signed. "You know he wants you there. He always wants you there."

"Then what was the last month, what happened in the alley tonight?" he snapped.

"Hell," John was defiantly angry.

"Yeah, of my own making. I hurt him bad didn't I?"

"You really want to know?" John signed and started for the stairs. Then paused, "Come on. Because man have I been pissed at you guys. Mostly you."

"John?" Qhuinn followed his friend down the stairs to the foyer and into the supply closet.

"You sure?" John signed at the tunnel door.

"I have to know." Qhuinn said stopping in the hall.

"The nights you did reports I would sit with him. We'd drink, he'd talk. About you, about his feelings and about a lot of the shit that went down. The night he told me about the balcony, about the asshole you'd been, he broke down. He cried, Qhuinn, fucking sobbed. How could you be such a bastard? I held him, stayed with him until he cried himself asleep," John paused. Looking at the emotions passing on Qhuinn's face. Hurt, fear, desperation, hatred, and disgust all directed at himself.

"I made him cry?" Qhuinn asked. There was a frightful amount of pain in his voice.

"Qhuinn for the past month I've watched the life drain out of him. The harder he tried to get over you, to give you what he thought you wanted, the more he died inside. Watching what you two have been doing to each other is almost as painfully for me as when Xhex was missing."

"John I'm sorry, I really am. My only excuse is I'm totally fucked in the head. I know it's not a good excuse but it's the truth. I've always been so worried about what everyone thought. I had a real hard time convincing myself to stopping thinking and to just feel."

"And, now?"

"And now I listen to my heart," he said placing his hand over it. "And every beat says Blay."

John seemed satisfied and they walk the rest of the way in silence.

"You go on in John, I'll be right here."

…

Blay was still feeding from the Chosen, Pheonia, when John Matthew came in. John crossed the room and set a change of clothes and his copy of 'Persuasion' on the foot of the bed.

'It's really good to see you awake," he signed and sat down on the chair by the bed.

It took Blay a few minutes to finish feeding. He withdrew his fangs from the Chosen and licked the wounds to seal them. "Thank you for your generous gift."

Pheonia bowed her head. "It was my pleasure." She left closing the door gently behind her.

"Thanks for bringing my things. It was very thoughtful of you," he said to John.

"Not my doing," John signed. "Qhuinn got them and had me bring them."

"Qhuinn?" he asked. _'Damn his guilt ridden ass.'_ Blay wasn't sure how to take the gesture. Especially after what Qhuinn had said when he'd woke up earlier. The safest thing was to just convince himself that any friend would do the same. It didn't mean anything special. "He's a good friend and so are you. You two are the best."

"Oh, hell no, you did not just say that shit," John looked angry. "He's way fucking more than a friend and you know it."

"John, yes, for me it's more, oh so much more, but not for him." Blay held his hand up when John started to sign again. "Yeah, I know he's singing a different tune right now, but it's temporary. It's only because I got hurt, almost died. As soon as I'm back on my feet he'll change again and we'll be right back at square one. If I'm going to survive I can't forget that, I can't let myself believe him."

"I only carried this shit in here for you because he's scared of upsetting you again. Blay I know he loves you. Hell, except for when Z and Rhage threatened if he didn't clean himself up they were going to drag him in the showers, he never left that hall. He spent most of the time sitting in the floor across from the door." John paused and really took a hard look at him. "He's out there right now."

Blay was feeling about two inches tall. "He is?"

"Like I said he's afraid of upsetting you again, but he needs to be as close to you as he can."

"I can't John," Blay just couldn't take that chance again. He was too close to the edge already. That moment last night at the pool came to mind.

"Blay, he's made peace with Sax. He's so sick with worry he's not eating or drinking anything. Not drinking, Blay, that's serious shit. He hasn't rested, hadn't left your side until you woke up. He talked you through feeding. Calmed you and helped both Amalya and Selena. He's changing Blay. That's what the alley was really about. He wanted to know where you and Sax stood, where you and he stood. He wants you."

Blay wanted to believe John so much, but should he risk it? Could he risk it?

"Send him in," Blay sighed.

…

V found Butch asleep on the couch when he got back to the Pit. With all of last night's excitement Jane and Marissa where having to spend the day at Safe Place so they could finish processing last night's intakes.

V went into the kitchen to pour a glass of Goose. Butch had left him a note on the liquor cabinet. '_Made you some sandwiches just in case. They're in the fridge. You're healing you need to eat. – B_.' He wasn't sure which one was worse with the mothering each other shit, him or Butch. Most of the time the two of them were worse than their females.

He poured a glass, tucked the bottle under his arm, grabbed his sandwiches, and settle in front of the four toys. He was going over the night's reports when he heard Butch moan. He turned his chair around and looked as the cop. V watched as Butch's hips slightly thrust up showing off the hard on he was sporting under his sweet pants. Since his transition the male was simply magnificent. V licked his lips. He wondered what was going on in the cop's head.

"Come on, be strong. Stay out of his head. Just go to your room and get some sleep. He's just dreaming about Marissa and you've already seen the real thing. Just go," he told himself.

Just as he stood the cop whispered, "Can't, Marissa would never understand."

"Oh, fuck," V fell back into his chair. He looked at Butch and couldn't hold back. It was easy to slide into the cop's head.

"Brother, you have one hell of an imagination," V settled back into his chair for the show.

Butch was sitting in his chair in his room. He was shirtless and shoeless. V had no idea if he was dressing or undressing. His attention was on the figure between Butch's legs. He was looking at the back of himself.

The other V was in the same state of undress as Butch. He had his hands on Butch's neck and was stroking his jaws with his thumbs.

"One kiss won't hurt," other V's husky voice said.

"I can't," He said grabbing V's wrists. The male even fought his feelings in his own fantasy. Remarkable.

"I know you want to as much as I do," V was leaning closer to Butch. "I don't want to die not knowing. Come on, cop, it's just a kiss," he grinned.

"Just a kiss," Butch whispered removing his hands from V's grabbing the chair arms.

V moved slowly barely pressing their lips together. He ran his hands down Butch's sides and grasped the male's hips.

Quick as lightening Butch wrapped his arms around V crushing him into his chest. He parted his lips and V moaned into him. V ran his tongue over Butch's bottom lip; he paused, and then slid it into Butch's mouth. He moved slowly savoring the taste.

The real Vishous hissed as he felt himself instantly hardened. He wrapped his fingers around the arm rests of his chair so he wouldn't jump Butch in his sleep. "Holy fuck, Butch."

Butch ran his hands up and down V's back, tracing his muscles with his fingers. Feeling each muscle flex and shift beneath his touch. Loving the responses he was getting. Their mouths crushed together, their tongues battling in a war of passion. Devouring each other, neither wanting to stop.

V finally pulled back trying to catch his breath. His eyes locked with Butch's. V moved his hands down quickly releasing Butch from his leathers. V held him in his hand and slowly rubbed his tip with his thumb. Tiny little circles that sent erotic jolts throughout Butch's entire body. He moaned with pleasure.

Butch tried to talk, but V shut him up with a hard quick kiss before giving all his attention to Butch's mouth watering body. V slowly trailed kisses down Butch's torso as he continued stroking his tip. When he reached his destination with his kisses he ran his tongue along the underside of the shaft from the base to the tip. He lapped up the droplets of pre cum that were seeping down the head. V started sliding forward and both he and Butch moaned their pleasure.

"Fuck,' V yelled being jerked out of Butch's dream. "What the hell?" He opened his eyes and looked around the room. Butch was on the floor by the couch.

V jumped out of his chair at the same time Butch leapt to his feet. They just stared at each other trying to catch their breaths. V suddenly realized the front of his sweats were wet. Butch's fantasy had made him come in his own pants. Looking down suddenly wanting to avoid Butch's gaze he notice the front of the cop's pants were wet too.

"Fuck, Butch," he said stepping forward.

"I, um, need a shower," he said and bolted for his room.

V followed at a slower pace giving Butch a little time before he got to his door. V leaned his forehead against the door. He couldn't help himself. He raised his voice and called through the closed door, "Hey, cop, anytime you want to make your dreams come true, call me."

…

On her way to check on Syhren and Blay, Jane decided to pop into the Pit for a cup of hot chocolate and a few minutes with her _hellern_. When she appeared in the kitchen she caught the spicy, musky smell of bonding scent. It smelled a lot like V, but not quite.

'_It couldn't be,_' she thought. Jane moved silently to the living room door. She cracked it just enough to peek in. She could hear both V and Butch moaning, but only saw V. He was sitting in his desk chair with a death grip on the arms. Sweat was beading on his skin. She could see his erection throbbing under the fabric of his sweat pants.

She couldn't see Butch. His moans were coming from the couch. Jane figured the Brother was having one hell of a dream.

Jane watched a V's breaths became shorter and more rapid. She couldn't take her eyes off of him. She could feel the moisture pooling at her core.

'_This is so damn hot,_' she thought as she watched the front of V's sweats wet with his cum. Suddenly there was a loud crash and both males were on their feet. Jane let the door close not wanting to be caught. She did listen though.

Butch made an excuse and ran out of the room. He's said he was going to shower, so Jane wondered if he'd came in his pants too. She cracked the door back opened and waited for Vishous to move down the hall before ghosting across the living room, staying out of sight.

Jane listened to V yell through the cop's door. '_So the dream had been about V,_' she thought, '_That is __**so**__ hot._'

She had to talk to Marissa. Jane had wanted to for awhile now. She just hadn't had the nerve to tell anyone about her suspicions, but if the guys were having to fight their feelings this bad, she needed to. She'd talk to V first. She hoped Marissa was going to be okay with all this, because she had this really great fantasy.

When she was alone she sometimes took the opportunity of picturing how it would be if V and Butch hooked up. Her favorite was V on all fours in the middle of the black satin covered bed at the condo. She loved the image of Butch behind him, his fingers digging into V's hips as he drives into him over and over with all the fierce power the warriors have. So very hot.

Her fantasies always left her hot and bothered and she always ran home to V. At those times she wore V's Red Sox cap. Other than that she gave V no hints of what she had been thinking.

She needed her male right now. She ghosted into the bedroom and was all over V before he could finish getting his feet out of his pants.

He pulled his mouth from hers, "We need to talk."

"I know," she answered. "Later. I need you right now." She started stripping out of her scrubs.

He tried to pull away so she deliberately pictured him and Butch on the black satin again. "I **need** you now," she said placing his hand between her legs to emphasize her point. She continued picturing her fantasy.

When he kissed her hard and deep she knew he had seen her thoughts. "Damn, Baby, I love you," he said pushing her back on to the bed.


	19. Chapter 19

**I do not own any part of the Black Dagger Brotherhood. All of that greatness is the work of the amazing J R Ward.**

**As of 5-22-12 the wonderful GothicBelle has beta'ed this for me. Hopefully this is now easier to read.**

**I hope everyone enjoys.**

**Chapter Nineteen**

Qhuinn opened the classroom door and slowly entered. Blay was sitting up and had most of his color back. Qhuinn felt relief flow through him. It was amazing what their bodies could do when well fed. He took a deep breath and headed for his chair.

"Hi," he said as he sat down.

"Hi," Blay said in return. He sounded great, no gravelly, huskiness in his voice, just his smooth sexy baritone now.

"How're you feeling?"

"Lots better. When I first woke up it felt like I'd been ran down by a Mac truck. Now that the pain killers are kicking in it's more like a Ford Fiesta," he looked over at Qhuinn and gave him a little grin.

Qhuinn smiled back, a big cheesy assed smile. "I hate that you hurt at all, but if you're hurting you're alive. And I'm over the fucking moon happy that your alive," he put his hand on top of Blay's.

"I'm pretty damn happy to be alive too," Blay couldn't help himself, he knew the risk was high, but still he turned his hand over and laced his fingers with Qhuinn's. It was a comfort to him. He glanced up at Qhuinn; the male was staring at their joined hands. "You know I didn't even feel it. The gun shot. I had no idea, I actually thought I was being a wuss and was fainting."

"Why would you faint?"

"I, well," Blay looked down at their hands. He didn't want to tell him how pathetic he was.

Qhuinn used his free hand to lift Blay's chin so he could see his sapphire eyes. "Blay, you can tell me anything."

Blay leaned his head away from Qhuinn's hand. It was too much contact, too intimate. "I'll tell you, but I don't want you to misunderstand, to see more into it than there is," he paused thinking about his dream of the Scribe Virgin and what she had said. _"It was just a dream,"_ he thought to himself. Not real, he was under sedation and couldn't trust what he'd seen. On the other hand, he had to take all this slowly just in case the Virgin and John were right. But he had to be careful with his heart. "Qhuinn, first off you have to understand I don't trust you the same as before. Let me finish. You've always had my back, Qhuinn, been my best friend for as long as I can remember. I trust you with my life, I promise you that will never change," he paused, not wanting to say the next part. Even though Qhuinn had hurt him time and time again, he didn't want to hurt him. "I just can't trust you with my heart."

"Then I'll just have to earn that trust back," Qhuinn vowed, covering their linked hands with his free one. "I'm going to prove to you that I really do love you with my whole heart."

Blay gave him a sad little smile and said, "I really hope you do." Then he sagged back into his pillow. This was getting to be a little too much for him. He was starting to feel a little sleepy.

"Blay, you're looking pretty tired. How about you lay down? You can take a nap and when you wake up I'll get us some food and we'll talk some more when you feel up to it."

"That sounds good. I really am tired," Blay said not wanting him to think he was trying to back out of explaining what he thought back in that hallway.

"Of course you're tired, baby," Qhuinn responded with concern in his voice, "you almost died last night. Blay, what happened to you was serious, you had us all worried. I wasn't convinced you were okay until the Scribe Virgin herself came to me."

"The Scribe Virgin?" Blay asked barely able to hold his eyes open.

"Shh, go to sleep. We'll talk about it all later," Qhuinn kiss his forehead just as he slipped back to sleep. "Sweet dreams, baby." Qhuinn settled back into his chair and stared at their linked hands again. "Progress," he whispered drifting off to sleep himself.

…

Jane felt a little guilty leaving V asleep this afternoon when she knew he wanted to discuss Butch with her. But they were not a problem for her. She had known they had a special relationship from the beginning and on a level she had always known she shared V's heart with the cop. Plus she had more important things to do right now. She had four patients in the mansion, including V. She had thoroughly checked his scars earlier. However the two in the Training Center needed her attention the most.

She had just checked Syhren over. The female was healing nicely. Jane had called Tohr and Saxton to come feed her. She had asked Mary and Rhage to explain to the males that she was checking in on Blaylock and would be right back in case they arrived before she returned.

She opened the classroom door to find Blay and Qhuinn holding hands in their sleep. It was too cute. Blay seemed to be resting well and was looking much better this afternoon. Qhuinn however looked completely exhausted sleeping in the chair by the bed. It had to be very uncomfortable.

"I'll call John to come help them up stairs," Tohr said from behind her. "That is if you think Blay can be moved?"

Jane hadn't had much interaction with Tohr other than doctor and patient. He was straight forward and to the point. He gave orders with out being pushy or overbearing. He was respectful above all else. She really appreciated that about him.

Jane moved to the bed and checked all the machines and the incision marks on his chest. "He looks good to go. I'll wake him and remove all the wires and stuff. Go ahead and call John. It might be a good idea to get Rhage too. Just in case. He'll probably be tired before he's gone very far."

"Good thinking, Doc." Tohr said getting his cell out. He started texting John.

"You might want to head on over to Syhren's room before I get to the catheter."

"Great idea," Tohr said closing the door.

"Men, males, whatever, are all a bunch on pansies when it comes to their dicks," she laughed.

"Can you blame us?" Qhuinn asked opening his eyes.

"Not really," Jane laughed again. "I'm going to remove all this, and then you and a couple of the Brothers can help him to his room."

"You sure that's a good idea? He still seems weak and he tires quickly."

Jane smiled at Qhuinn. "I know, but he'll rest better in his own bed. This room isn't suited for a long recovery. He'll be better off up stairs with you to watch over him. We'll check on him every couple of hours and if he needs me for anything you can just call. I want you to keep him in bed or on the couch. He still needs lots of rest. We should probably have him feed again later tonight. Don't let him up by himself, even to use the restroom. No shower or bath until I say so. Let him sleep all he wants. You got all that?" She waited for him to nod. "Good. Also both of you need to eat."

"Yes, Doc," Qhuinn smiled at her. "Well then, let's get this over with."

Jane was so happy to see the light in Qhuinn's eyes. Both males had been miserable for months now. This was a shame because these two were perfect for each other. It really warmed her heart to see that things were turning around.

…

Tohr entered the P. T. room and saw Mary and Rhage sitting by the bed.

"Mary, Rhage," he greeted them. His surprise must have shown on his face.

"Wrath didn't want her left alone," Mary explained.

"I was just about to call you, Rhage. Jane wants you to help move Blay up to his room," Tohr told them.

"He'll be more comfortable upstairs," Mary said.

"Coming with, Babe?" Rhage asked sitting her on her feet so he could stand.

"Nah, I'll just run upstairs and have his room ready," she kissed him goodbye and left.

Tohr knew he was shifting back and forth on his feet, fidgeting even. Displays of affection between the Brothers and their _shellans_ were still fraying his nerves. But he was trying. He was up and out of his room. His was training and was going out fighting again. He was having meals with the group. He was trying. So they couldn't fault him a little odd behavior here or there.

"Tohr, you going to be okay here alone?"

"I'm fine, Hollywood, go take care of our boy."

"Later," Rhage said as he left.

Tohr turn back around to look at the female. She looked horrible, so pale and fragile.

'_Is this how Wellsie looked right before the end?'_ he wondered to himself. He didn't need to think about that. He didn't need to travel down that dark path right now. He was here to help this female, Syhren. Such an odd name for a female.

He stepped closer to the bed and studied her. Her skin was an ashy grey color, not the stunning alabaster it was in the courtyard or the pink flush from battle she had earlier at her home. Her cheeks were a bit sunken as well. They had been fuller the first time he'd seen her, slightly round, just enough to give her the look of an elegant porcelain doll. Her lips that had been full and pretty in the moonlight were now cracked and swollen. There was a tube running out the side of her mouth. She also had a handful of wires running from the machines around her to various places under her sheet. There were three different bags running to the I.V. in her arm. Her hands still had a few scratches on them. It all made her look so small and helpless.

Yet he knew better, she had to be the bravest female he'd ever laid eyes on. She was the fierce mother of three young. She lived out in the harsh world without a male. When he had seen her standing in that bedroom with that gun trained on the downed _lesser_ and the _doggen_ held protectively to her side, he'd known she was unique. She had the appearance of a moon goddess and the fierceness and skills of a warrior. She was an elegant lady suited to the _glymera_ and a lioness when it came to her family. She was simply incredible, phenomenal even.

"You will live," he vowed to her. "For Darius you will live. I will not fell you as I did her, him."


	20. Chapter 20

**I do not own any part of the Black Dagger Brotherhood. All of that greatness is the work of the amazing J R Ward.**

**As of 5-22-12 the wonderful GothicBelle has beta'ed this for me. Hopefully this is now easier to read.**

**I hope everyone enjoys.**

**Chapter Twenty**

The trip to his room had been hard on Blay. Rhage and John had to actually carry him up the stairs and the rest of the way to his room. Mary had come up ahead in time and made his bed back.

"Thanks, guys," he said after they had settled him in bed. "Hate you had to do that."

"Not a problem," Rhage said. "About time I returned the favor. Can't tell you how many times someone's lugged my big ass up those stairs."

"Okay boys," Mary said. "I had a ton of food brought up. There's enough for both of you, so Qhuinn you eat too."

"Rest up my man," Rhage said grabbing Mary's hand and heading for the door. "I'll get her out of here before she decides to spoon feed you. We'll check you later. You need anything call."

"I'm out of here too," John signed. Heading for the door.

"John you can stay," Blay called to him.

"Nah, man. You need to rest. I'll be by later tonight." He closed the door behind him.

"Baby, you want something to eat?" Qhuinn asked on his way to the trays.

"I'm too tired to eat. And would you please not call me that?"

"Sure," he sounded hurt. "You don't like it?"

"It's not that," Blay sighed. "We're not there yet, okay?"

"That's fine. I can do that for you," Qhuinn grinned. "But other than that, you like it?"

He couldn't help himself. "Yeah I like it," he said blushing.

"Good cause when you decide the time is right that's who you're gonna be. My baby." He smiled as he moved the sitting chair to the bed side. "That trip was hard on you. Why don't you get a little sleep?"

"Sure, umm. . ." Blay blushed.

Qhuinn looked at him and laughed. "What's that look for?"

"I, umm, could . . . " he stammered.

"Spit it out."

"Never mind."

"What?"

"Nothing, good night."

Qhuinn got out of the chair and sat on the side of the bed. "I love it when you blush. Now look at me and tell me what you wanted."

"I, umm, I. . . I can't sleep in these stupid sweat pants," he finally sputtered turning even redder.

"Then we'll just take them off," Qhuinn said standing and pulling the covers down.

"Can you get me a pair of boxers? I normally sleep in them."

"Sure," Qhuinn headed for the dresser, seeming a little disappointed. "Second drawer right?"

"Yeah, silk ones if you don't mind?"

Qhuinn carried a black pair over. "Here we go, now let's see." He helped Blay stand. "Here steady yourself with my shoulders." He moved one of Blay's hands to one shoulder and Blay put his other hand on the other shoulder.

Blay's face was burning. He'd never felt so helpless. "Thanks."

"Now I'm going to slide these pants off and then the boxers on. All you have to do is lift your feet."

They were face to face and all Blay could do was stare at that beautiful green/blue gaze and nod. _'Damn me,"_ he thought. All he wanted to do was pull Qhuinn closer and kiss him until he couldn't breath. _"So not happening,"_ he told himself.

Qhuinn quickly had his pants off and slowly pulled his boxers on. Taking his time with his return trip up Blay's body. "You really are perfect, Blay," he grinned when their eyes met again. "We better tuck you in before I lose all control."

Blay fell back hard on the bed. He was having a hard time processing everything going on with Qhuinn.

"Bab-Blay, careful, you don't want to hurt yourself." Qhuinn helped him lie back down and tucked the covers back around him.

"Thank you," he whispered. He closed his eyes to try and sleep. Minutes passed and sleep didn't come. Qhuinn kept shifting around in the chair making all kinds of noise. Blay looked over at his friend. He felt guilty that Qhuinn was so tired and uncomfortable. "Qhuinn you're tired too. Go to your room and rest. I'll be fine here."

"This is good," Qhuinn said looking back at him.

"You can't sleep in that chair," Blay argued starting to sit up.

"Lay down," Qhuinn ordered sitting up straight.

Blay did, but he wasn't happy with the order. "You're not my boss, Qhuinn."

"Right and you're not mine. I slept just fine in the chair by your bed down stairs, so I can sleep in this one too."

"No you're not," Blay snapped.

"I'm not leaving," Qhuinn growled.

"Fine, then get in bed. I can't sleep with you making all of that damn noise."

"What?"

"You heard me. Get in the damn bed and get some sleep. I'm not stupid. you're about dead on your feet."

"You really okay with this?" Qhuinn asked circling the bed. He pulled his muscle shirt off.

"It won't be the first time we slept in the same bed," Blay snapped then turned red as his notice Qhuinn taking his pants off. "Umm…"

"Don't get your knickers twisted, I got underwear on. Shocking as that may be. I can't sleep in those fucking pants any more that you can and you know it."

"It's just," Blay didn't finish. He wasn't sure what to say. 'Take me I'm yours' or 'Don't even think about touching me asshole.' Either would work right now.

"Don't worry. I'm not going to try anything. First off you're hurt and you're nowheres up to that and second we're taking things slow. So we are just sleeping together. Nothing more." Qhuinn slid into bed. He settled in and turned his head to face Blay. "I swear."

"Thank you," Blay said relaxing. Blay laid his hand out on top of the cover between them.

Qhuinn smiled and laced their fingers together. "Thank you," he raised Blay's hand to his mouth and kissed it. "I need this connection to you."

Blay smiled back, "Me too," Damn his heart for its eternal hopefulness. "But it doesn't mean the same to me as you."

"If it means you still love me, then yeah, Baby, it does. I love you and I'm never giving up on us." Then Qhuinn closed his eyes.

"_Damn him,"_ Blay thought as he closed his eyes. He was asleep instantly.

…

Tohr and Saxton waited by the bed while Jane turned off the anesthesia and pulled the tube from Syhren's throat. "We need to let her breath for a minute or two then Tohr you can go first."

Jane had waited for Mary and Rhage to return in case she needed medical help with Syhren. Mary and Beth both had been training with Ehlena so they could help with the nursing. Turns out after last night that had been on of the _shellans' _best idea yet.

The two minutes of waiting and watching took forever. Finally Jane stepped back up to the bed. "Tohr let's go ahead and give it a try."

Tohr stepped up and put his wrist to her lips. Not really expecting her to respond without help he was surprised when her fangs pierced him. He looked down at her in wonder. She had taken three long drawls when she opened her eyes and stared up at him. Amazing, she was simply amazing.

"She's got one hell of a will to live," Rhage said.

"And look at those eyes," Mary said. "I thought yours and Rehv's were beyond compare, but wow hers are something else. They're pale and milky, so unlike any others I've seen."

"I've never seen lavender and your right they are kind of cloudy. But you vampires always find a way to surprise me," Jane added.

"They are beautiful," Saxton commented. "I've have never seen the likes."

"Amazing," Tohr whispered. She kept drinking. The look on her face told him she was hungry, but also sorry. Her eyes seemed to plead with him to understand she didn't want to do this. That she didn't want to hurt him. He'd never fed another female, just his Wellsie. Wellsie had never fed so hard from him, never needed so much. "It's okay little one," he heard himself say. "Take all you need. Let me do this for you. I am honored." A tear spilled on to her cheek. Tohr raised his hand and wiped it away. "Shh, it's okay I promise," He realized she must also be worried about her family. "They're all fine. You saved them. We got there in time and everyone is just fine."

Tohr noticed that Jane had stepped forward and grabbed Syhren's nose. "You have to stop," he heard her say. "We have another for you to feed on. Let Tohr go before you drain him."

…

Syhren knew she needed to let go, but she had never tasted anything so good in her life. She was so hungry her whole body was on fire.

He was so gentle. He kept talking to her, soothing her. She felt him start to sway but couldn't let go. She just kept drinking. Finally a female stepped forward and held her nose shut. After a few moments she had to breathe and let go. A huge male pulled the gentle one away from her and a familiar soul took his place. She quickly sunk her fangs into him. She was starving. She drew hard from him as well. When he spoke to her she remembered his name was Saxton. He had been the one that had helped her adopt her young. She drank from him, but he didn't taste nearly as nice as the one they were now calling Tohr.

Suddenly there was a loud crash and she jerked her head up. Tohr was fighting against two other males trying to get to her.

"Jane hurry up with that needle," one shout. Vishous the one she had met first. The one that had carried her at the house. He had helped save her, so had Tohr. Tohr had been the leader.

"Mary, get the hell back," The other one shouted. She remembered him from the house too.

Syhren took a deep breath. Her lungs burned with the scent of his blood. She needed it. She tried to move from the bed. There were wires and tubes holding her back, but she didn't care. She moved to step off the bed.

"Sax, Mary hold her down, damn it," Vishous yelled again.

She felt Saxton's arms wrap around her and then a female came up beside her. She felt a sting in her thigh and then she felt so tired, she collapsed back. They laid her back on the bed.

The last thing she remembered was hearing a female voice say, "Good thing you showed up, Babe. I never thought that would have happened."

…

"What the hell just happened down here?" Wrath voice boomed through the P.T. room.

"Well," Jane spoke first. "To start with she wouldn't let go of Tohr, even when he started to collapse. So we got him lose and she started in on Saxton. Then when Tohr came to his senses, he growled and started to head for Sax. That's when all hell broke lose. Rhage was wrestling with Tohr and then V showed up and it took me a minute to sedate Tohr. By that time Miss Thing had stopped feeding on Saxton and I'm just guessing, was trying to get to Tohr. So I sedated her too."

"Wrath, I never saw anything like it," Rhage said. "V, help me get Tohr upstairs."

"Lock him in his room until we know what happened," Wrath ordered.

"Wrath," Jane said. "She is going to need to feed some more when she wakes back up."

"I'll talk to Qhuinn. Is she okay?" He asked.

Jane was thoroughly checking the patient over. "She seems fine. She's already healing faster. Better talk to Qhuinn fast. I really was hoping he'd get some sleep."

"I don't have a lot of choices Jane. Most of us are bonded males now." He headed for the door.

"Rhage and I talked it over, sir, and we volunteer him to feed her," Mary said looking up from where she was wrapping Saxton wrist. "I'm human and I don't have the same urges the females do. I don't like the idea but I won't try to kill her either. Let us help?"

"Fine, if she needs more after that send for Qhuinn. He volunteered too." Wrath left the room, ever faithful George at the lead.

"I'll ask V first," Jane said to Mary. "It won't kill me either. Might not like it but she's safe with me too."

The two gave each other knowing smiles and went back to work.


	21. Chapter 21

**I do not own any part of the Black Dagger Brotherhood. All of that greatness is the work of the amazing J R Ward.**

**As of 5-22-12 the wonderful GothicBelle has beta'ed this for me. Hopefully this is now easier to read.**

**I hope everyone enjoys.**

**Chapter Twenty One**

Tohr slowly opened his eyes. He was back in his room on his bed.

"Fuck," he'd really messed up this time. He remembered being really pissed and that Rhage and V had to hold him down then everything just went black. Jane must have put him out with something.

"You can say that again, cowboy."

Just fucking great, the angel was here.

"Fuck you too, C3PO," he told the angel. One day, he'd like to go just one damn day without having to set eyes on Lassiter.

"How many times do I have to tell you? No damn way I'm bending over for the likes of you, I have taste," Lassiter flopped his glow bug ass into the sitting chair.

"Don't you have Oprah to watch or some other nancy assed shit to do?" Tohr was getting real sick of the Fallen hanging around. "I'm not suicidal anymore, so you can leave any time you're fucking ready. It sure would improve the mood around here."

"You know I can't leave until this mission is complete." Lassiter straighten in the chair. Tohr knew that meant the angel was about to get serious. He was so not in the mood for that shit right now.

"Just tell me what the damn mission is. I'll do what you want and then you can get good and gone." Tohr knew what the angel would say; they repeat this little slice of life every few weeks.

"You know I can't do that. Some rules can't be broken or bent," Lass said for the millionth time. "Heard you went ballistic on that civilian lawyer down in the PT room. You standing up for your boy Qhuinn or has that female they brought in gotten under your skin?"

"She was Darius's _shellan_, that makes me responsible for her and her young," Tohr got to his feet and started pacing. "He would do the same if our places had been reversed."

"Great, now you have survivor's guilt too? Can you say one step forwards, two huge fucking steps back?"

Lassiter headed for the door. '_About damn time,_' Tohr thought. "This is not about guilt. This is about honor. About taking care of our own. Darius was a Brother, that makes his family our family. This is no different than taking in John Matthew. Darius was my best friend, he was like a father to me, and I owe him. We all do."

"So you decide to go ape shit after a civilian in the PT room. A civilian that volunteered to feed her, to help save her life. That doesn't sound like taking care of her to me. FYI, Lug Head, their keeping your ass away from her until she's finished feeding. And that could take a while considering they had to sedate the crazy bitch too."

Tohr lunged for Lassiter, a wild fury burning in him. The angel stepped backwards through the door. Tohr tried to follow him but the door was locked up tight using the special safety lock. He pounded the door. "Lassiter you better watch your fucking mouth went you speak of her. You show some respect or I'll fix it so you can't speak at all."

He could here the angel's laughter fade as he walked away.

"Shit," he said walking back to the bed. He was on lock down. Stuck in his room when all he wanted was to head back down to PT to check on Syhren. Lassiter had said they had to sedate her again and he wanted to know why.

"Damn," he laid back on the bed. He must have really lost his mind down there. The only thing he clearly remembered was thinking he had to protect her. Everything in him was, is screaming, '**Protect her**.' Not good.

…

"How is he?" No'One asked the angel Lassiter as he came into the billiards room.

"He's awake. I'm not sure what's going on with him now," he answered joining her on the couch.

"Does anyone know what set him off down stairs?" No'One handed him his drink. She couldn't figure it out. Tohr was a very reserved male. Since losing his beloved _shellan_ he was somber and, according to Xhex, up until recently was like the walking dead.

"Not really. But it's the only time he has ever let a female other than Wellsie feed from him. Thank you," He said picking up the remote and turning on the T.V.

"You think that's what caused him to attack?" No'One could understand the feeding would upset him. She just couldn't see why it would make him so violent.

"Thing is he let that female take too much from him. I think in his state of blood lose he was confused. I think for him to act like that he had to of believed it was Wellsie in that bed."

"Oh, that makes sense. If he thought Saxton was trying to feed his _shellan_ he would have easily went into a rage," she said. She thought about the young male she once knew, so eager and happy. She thought of the sad lonely male he had become. She had learned the hard way that time would heal and hoped that time would not take to long for him. "So who's on Oprah this evening?"

…

Blay opened his eyes for a moment he was frightened thinking it had all been a dream. Then he realized the arms wrapped around him were too well defined to be Saxton's. Thank god, he didn't need that nightmare again. He inhaled deeply. It really was Qhuinn in his bed. He was pressed safely against his broad chest. He could feel his breathe on the back of his neck. He couldn't help but smile. He had dreamed of waking like this so many times. Blay kept his breathing as slow as he could even though his heart was now racing. He didn't want to wake Qhuinn. He wanted this moment for himself, a beautiful memory to keep no matter what their future held.

The feel of Qhuinn's breath sent tingles down his spine every time he exhaled. His scent was musky and wild. Qhuinn's arms tightened around him and his body betrayed him as his need for Qhuinn became uncomfortably obvious. Qhuinn was asleep and still his face turned red with embarrassment.

"Did you know even the back of your neck turns red when you blush?" Blay tried to move but Qhuinn wouldn't let him up. "I love it when you blush. It's actually very sexy."

Blay stilled at those words. _'Damn him.'_ "It is not sexy and saying that is just fucking stupid."

Qhuinn let him go and sat up. "It's not stupid, it's the way I feel. And this shitty attitude you've got going on, it's not going to drive me away. I get it. I was really god awful shitty to you. I deserve the attitude and I know it. But I'm not leaving. So yeah, I was an asshole, will probably always be an asshole to some degree, but from here on out I'm **your** asshole."

Blay sat up too, feeling awful about his attitude. "I'm sorry. I'm trying, I really am," he took Qhuinn's hand in his. "I'm just so scared. What if you change your mind?"

"I'm not changing my mind. Hell, I'm not even listening to it anymore when it comes to you. I'm listening to my heart. I love you and I'm not talking myself out of it anymore," he said staring into Blay's eyes.

"I hear you saying that and I know you'd never lie to me on purpose, but after that night with Sax, it's just so hard to believe. You left your bonding scent all over me and you still walked away. You kissed me like that and still sent me off to him." Fuck he was going to cry.

"I'm sorry. I know I handled it all wrong. I wanted you so bad that my heart hurt. But I kept thinking up excuses to stay away. At first I kept telling myself that my dream had always been to find a female of worth and have some young, to show the _glymera_ and my family that I was just as good as them. Then that because I am flawed that I couldn't be with you, couldn't be with a male. That both things together would defiantly make me a total outcast," Qhuinn paused. Blay knew this was hard on him. He wasn't one for sharing his feelings.

"How many times do I have to tell you there is nothing wrong with you? I love your eyes. They are beautiful and so are you," he told Qhuinn with a smile.

"Now who's 'just fucking stupid'?" he asked bringing Blay's knuckles to his mouth for a quick kiss. Blay blushed again. "No more distracting me. I need to get this out while I can. All that I just said was before the Massacre. After that, after I outed you and my family was gone, you became my excuse. The _glymera _was still a problem in my head but not the same way. I knew that I wasn't good enough for you. That if I let anything happen between us, it was you who was going to pay. And yeah I was jealous when Sax came along. Mostly because he was brave enough to take what I wanted. And that night I kept telling myself he was so much better for you than I was. He was a real male of worth. He was what you needed. What you deserved."

"Qhuinn, you're all I ever wanted," Blay said as the tears finally spilled from his eyes.

"I still think you're better off with him, but I'm not pushing you away anymore. I'm a selfish bastard at heart and I'm never letting you go ever again."

Blay wiped his cheeks knowing they were wet from his tears. "Qhuinn I am glad you told me all that, I do love you. I could never stop loving you and that's what scares me the most. Last night standing on the edge of the pool it took everything in me and Butch to stop me from trying to end it all. I am so scared that loving you is going to be the death of me."

Qhuinn pulled him into his arms, "Fuck, baby. You can't ever even think of that shit again. I can't live without you." Qhuinn eased back. Blay watched him look at his mouth. Just when he thought they were going to kiss his bedroom door opened.

"Oh, sorry guys, I was just checking on you before we headed out," Rhage said. He seemed a little uncomfortable. "Both of you are to stay put. One of the Brothers will check on you latter tonight."

He was gone just as fast as he came. "Was he wearing a black robe?" Blay asked.

"He was. Now where were we?" Qhuinn smiled at him.

"I'm still scared," Blay whispered.

"I'm still not going anywhere."

…

There was a knock on the door. Tohr got up off the bed as Zsadist entered wearing his hooded black robe.

"It's time," was all the brother said and tossed Tohr his robe.

"So soon," he hadn't looked at the time since he had come to.

"Sun will be down in fifteen," Z headed into the hall. "Hurry up and meet us outside John's room. Wrath figured you want to do his talking for him. If it's okay with you I want to speak for the proposal."

"That's fine," Tohr quickly changed into his robe and met up with the Brothers outside John Matthew's door.

His heart filled with love and pride. His son was about to become a Brother. They would now share an even greater bond. They would both be members of the most elite group in their society, the Black Dagger Brotherhood. John would be recognized as a protector of the entire vampire race. No father could be prouder.

All the Brothers were there, even Phury. "Thought you went back to the Grand Camp."

"I did, but this is important so I just slipped to the Other Side and came here. One of the perks of being Primale," Phury grinned.

"Are we ready?" Wrath asked.

"Yes," the other six said as one.

Wrath entered first.


	22. Chapter 22

**I do not own any part of the Black Dagger Brotherhood. All of that greatness is the work of the amazing J R Ward.**

**As of 5-22-12 the wonderful GothicBelle has beta'ed this for me. Hopefully this is now easier to read.**

**I hope everyone enjoys.**

**Chapter Twenty Two**

John rolled over reaching for his _shellan_, but she wasn't there. At first he was alarmed then he remembered she was with Rehv at the Colony. He rolled back over and relaxed into his pillow only to bolt straight up in bed. He wasn't alone. His bed was surrounded by dark figures.

Seven hooded figures. Three on either side of the bed and the largest was at the foot. As he started to speak John realized it was King Wrath.

In the Old Language Wrath said, "There is no going back from the question that shall be posed of you this night. You shall be given it only once, and your answer will stand for the rest of the life you lead. Are you prepared to be asked?"

This was impossible, he was too young. He hadn't done anything worthy of this. The Brotherhood. Holy fucking shit.

"Yes," he signed. He was shaking all over from fear, excitement, and nerves.

"He signed yes, my Lord," Tohr spoke for him. John thought his voice sounded as shaky as his hands.

"Then I shall say unto you now, Tehrror, son of Darius, will you join us?"

"Yes, I will join you," he signed and added, "This is the greatest honor of my life."

Tohr spoke for him again.

"Thank you, father."

The Brother closest to him handed him a black robe. As Wrath continued to speak, "Tender this to your skin, raising the hood unto your head. At all times, you shall say nothing unless spoken to. You shall keep your eyes on the ground. Your hands shall be clasped at the small of your back. Your bravery and the honor of your bloodline shall be measured in every action you take. You will be permitted to empty your body. Do it now."

John jumped to his feet and made his way to the bathroom. John stared at himself in the mirror.

'_Holy fucking hell. I'm going to be a Brother,_' he thought. He took a deep breath and hurried to do his business and dress. John left the bathroom with his head down and his hands behind his back as instructed. A hand landed on his shoulder.

"Come with us now," Wrath said.

The hand guided him out of his room, down the hall and stairs, and out of the mansion. He was sure it was Tohr leading him.

John was lead into V's Escalade. Some of the Brothers joined them. They rode in silence. John had spent several mornings walking these woods with Z, but still had no idea where they were headed. After a rough ride they stopped and exited the SUV.

John stepped to the side and kept his head down. He heard the Brothers moving about and was sure they were all here. After a minute the hand was back leading him once again. Soon the light on the ground disappeared and the smell of the earth be came stronger. John figured they had to be in a cave. They had traveled forty or fifty feet when they came to a stop. He heard the faint sound of metal on metal like a well kept gate opening. Then they moved forwards again. Slowly the light returned and the floor became smooth and glossy. It was as black as night, and John was sure it was marble.

They continued on a little farther before stopping once more. He could hear the Brothers shifting about, then the sound of fabric hitting the floor. He saw a robe drift to the floor beside him; the Brothers had shed their robes.

A hard hand clamped onto the back of his neck and Wrath growled into his ear, "You are unworthy to enter herein as you stand now. Nod your head."

John nodded.

"Say you are unworthy."

"I am unworthy," John soundlessly spoke the words as he signed.

Tohr spoke the words aloud for him. John heard a small tremble in his voice and was sure it was pride.

The Brothers shouted a protest in the Old Language.

Wrath spoke again, "Though you are not worthy, you desire to become such this night. Nod your head."

John nodded and took a deep breath.

"Say that you wish to become worthy."

John quickly moved his hands again and Tohr said, "I wish to become worthy."

This time the Brothers shouted their support.

Wrath continued, "There is only one way to become worthy and it is the right and proper way. Flesh of our flesh. Nod your head."

John nodded.

"Say that you wish to become flesh of our flesh."

"I wish to become flesh of your flesh."

A low chanting started. From the sound of things a line had formed in front of and behind him. The Brothers started swaying to the rhythm of the chant. John was bumped back and forth a few times before finding the rhythm himself. Then they were moving as one. It was amazing.

They moved forward swaying left and right to the chant. Suddenly the sound surrounded them. They had entered a vast space were every voice echoed.

Tohr's hand returned to his shoulder and he stopped as did the chanting. He was taken by the arm and lead forward.

Z whispered, "Stairs."

John stumble a bit on the stairs and when he reached the top Z positioned his body.

"Who proposes this male?" asked the Scribe Virgin.

"I, Zsadist, son of Ahgony, do."

"Who rejects this male?" She asked. John held his breath, knowing this was all too good to be true, but all was quiet to his relief.

The Scribe Virgin's voice increased in volume and filled the chamber. "Though it is no longer required to have my approval, I am honored the Brotherhood still called upon me. Tehrror, son of the Black Dagger Brother Darius, on the basis of the proposal made by Zsadist, son of Ahgony and brother of the Primale and acceptance by Wrath, son of Wrath, King of our glorious race and leader of the Brotherhood, I find this male before me, Tehrror, son of Darius, an appropriate nomination unto the Black Dagger Brotherhood. I am proud to see you brought before my chosen warriors. You may begin."

"Turn him. Unveil him," Wrath ordered.

Z turned him to face forward and removed his robe.

"Lift thine eyes."

John found he was standing on a platform behind an alter. He was in a massive cavern. Everything was black including the candles that lit the place. It was so beautiful that he could not process it all. He didn't have time to.

The Scribe Virgin was no longer there. The naked Brothers were lined up in front of the platform. Without clothes they seemed more impressive and dominating.

Wrath came forward and stood at the alter. "Step back against the wall and hold onto the pegs."

John did as he was told. Wrath brought up his hand and it was covered with an old silver glove. The glove had sharp barbs on the knuckles; he was holding a black dagger in it. Wrath cut his wrist deep and held it over the skull on the alter. John studied the skull just now seeing it for the first time. As he watched Wrath's blood drain into the skull he realized a cup was hidden inside.

"My flesh," Wrath said and licked his wound closed. He placed the dagger on the table and moved in front of John.

Wrath gave him a wicked smile and grabbed his face shoving his head to the side. Then he bit his neck hard and drank deep. He stepped back and smiled again. "Your flesh."

Wrath stepped back and punched John as hard as he could with his gloved hand. The barbs punctured him right were his birthmark was. Now his scar would mark him as a true Brother. Yet something told John this was only the beginning. He adjusted his grip and gritted his teeth as he watched Tohr take the glove from Wrath.

Tohr stepped to the alter and repeated the ritual. John was practically ecstatic when Tohr hit him even harder than the King.

Then came Rhage who proved himself the strongest Brother and Vishous that lived up to his name. The twins came next followed by Butch. John became a little nervous then. He was tired and growing weak and this would be Butch's first time.

He worried for nothing; the cop was flawless, even hit harder than V. He'd have to remember to tell him sometime.

Wrath moved forward again and lifted the skull high into the air. He faced the Brothers. "This is the first of us. Hail to him, the warrior who birthed the Brotherhood."

The Brothers let out a fierce war cry filling the cavern with their voices.

Wrath moved in front of him. "Drink and join us."

John brought the skull to his lips and drank swiftly. The blood of the Brothers was powerful. He realized that this was not just the blood of those that stood here, but was the blood of every Brother before him.

Wrath took the skull. "Step back and replace your hands on the pegs."

Wrath smiled at him wickedly again. '_Sometimes that male is seriously twisted,_' John thought as he followed the instructions.

At first John just felt a slight burning in his gut. Then it was shooting through his whole body. Soon the pain overtook him and everything went black.

When John awoke he found himself face down on the floor. At least now he was sure it was marble. He rolled on to his back and caught sight of Z and Tohr; they were in their robes again. Tohr smiled at him then looked up past him. John followed his gaze. He saw a black marble wall. He stood and moved closer so that he could se the carvings. They were names. Names of all the Brothers back to the beginning. John carefully searched the last column. He ran his fingers over Darius and Tohrment's names. The male that brought him into the world and the male that had rescued him and loved him. Then he saw the last name, his name, Tehrror. Several things became very clear to him in that moment.

"I'm so proud of you," Tohr said handing him his robe.

John slipped his robe on and hugged Tohr. "Thank you, Father," he stepped away not wanting to make Tohr uncomfortable.

Wrath stepped forward again. "You shall be called the Black Dagger warrior Tehrror, son of Darius."

"I don't want to show any disrespect," John signed, "but about the name."

"Not to worry we can still call you John," Z said. "We still call the cop, Butch."

"It's no problem," Wrath tried to reassure him. "Tehrror is the name of a warrior. The name our race will call you, it will only be for the history books," he grinned.

"It's not that," John waited while Z translated. "Not to disrespect any of you or Darius's memory, but I'd rather not carry his name."

"What?" Several of the Brothers exclaimed.

"I want to be Tehrror, son of Tohrment."

"He is not your blooded father," Wrath stated.

"He is the only father I've known," John dropped his head in defeat. He had known it wouldn't be acceptable, but he needed his feelings to be known.

"I think Tehrror, son of Tohrment is perfect," the Scribe Virgin said.

John lifted his head; she was standing right in front of him. He was too stunned to do or say anything. She was looking right at him.

"If this is what he desires, then it shall be so. I know that I wronged you recently with my wrongful behavior in not attending your mating. It was shameful. I shall do this for you to make amends. You and your mate are an excellent pairing and I wish you well," she stepped forward and touched his cheek. "Darius is your past. Leave him there. Embrace Tohrment as he has been a true father to you. Embrace your future, your new life, my warrior."

She vanished.

"V, man, some times your mom rocks," Butch said breaking the silence.

Wrath spoke again, "You shall be called the Black Dagger warrior Tehrror, son of Tohrment."

This time the Brothers applauded him. John smiled as Tohr put his arm around his shoulders. There were tears in the older male's eyes. "I love you, son."

For John life was good.


	23. Chapter 23

**I do not own any part of the Black Dagger Brotherhood. All of that greatness is the work of the amazing J R Ward.**

**As of 5-22-12 the wonderful GothicBelle has beta'ed this for me. Hopefully this is now easier to read.**

**I hope everyone enjoys.**

**Chapter Twenty Three**

Jane materialized in the living room of the Pit. It was only 2:00 a.m. and she had already finished up at Safe Place. She wanted to spend a few minutes with V before checking in with her patients here in the compound.

Vishous wasn't at his normal place in front of the Four Toys, so Jane checked the kitchen then made for the bedroom. Both bedroom doors were open letting her know that the house was empty.

'_Well,_' she thought, '_I'll check on Syhren, then if V's not in the Training Center I'll just head up to the main house._'

Jane ghosted into the Physical Therapy room and found Marissa watching over Syhren.

"Why are you here?" Jane asked.

"Our Queen called me about half an hour ago. Her Majesty was in need of a replacement here at Syhren's bedside. There seems to be some royal business she must tend to in King Wrath's stead," Marissa explained in her usual aristocratic manor. Jane had thought her a bit uppity at first, but soon learned that in Marissa's case appearances were defiantly deceiving.

Jane had quickly learned that Marissa had a kind and generous heart and a brilliant mind. The things that Marissa had done for the vampire race through Safe Place were amazing. Jane was also impressed with her acceptance of Queen Beth after V had told her that Marissa had been Wrath's _shellan_ before he met and bonded with Beth. Marissa had also endeared herself to Jane by readily accepting and supporting Blay after he came out. Her acceptance of Blay's sexuality had surprised Jane and given her hope for V and Butch.

"Where is Wrath?" Jane asked as she started a routine check on Syhren.

"The entire Brotherhood went to the Tombs," Marissa answered.

"What for?"

"It is unknown to us as it is Brotherhood business."

"Well then," Jane responded as a plan started forming in her mind. "I guess that means it's just you and me tonight. That is unless you need to get back to Safe Place?"

Jane moved from her patient over to her make shift desk in the corner. She really had to talk to Wrath about expanding.

"I have finished at Safe Place for tonight and I don't mind staying here and helping. I am better here than upstairs with the young."

Jane found that be an odd comment. She had always thought Butch was the type of guy that would make a great father and just assumed Marissa would be on board. Jane realized that for being housemates, she and Marissa knew very little about each other. And what she knew of Marissa she learned from Vishous. She and Marissa never really talked with each other, everything was always business.

If Jane was going to help their _hellerns_ out, she and Marissa were going to have to respect, trust and support each other.

"Marissa, I always thought you wanted children. You're so good with them at Safe Place," Jane said.

"I love young. I am just worried about my first needing after my mating. Butch and I have not discussed our wishes on the matter." Marissa's honesty touched Jane.

"Oh, I hadn't considered that. V and I had no choice," Jane said.

"Life is not fair at times," Marissa responded.

"For us it's not a problem. It doesn't bother me and V doesn't want to pass his genes on to another generation, so basically we're good," Jane looked over at the other woman.

"That's nice for you then," Marissa paused before going on. "Butch talks so lovingly about Nalla and is great with her. He has been up to meet the new young. I just fear he will be like the other males if I do become pregnant. Pregnancy is the worst fear for a bonded male. Thankfully we still have a few more years."

"Mary said that Nalla's delivery was harder on Z than Bella," Jane said.

Marissa smiled at her, "This is nice Jane."

"Yeah, it is," Jane agreed. "We should take time to talk more often."

Jane went back to her paperwork pleased that her plan had started off so well and surprised at how easy this was going to be.

…

Qhuinn was about to move in for a kiss when he realized he had no idea what time it was or how long it had been since Blay had ate.

"Are you hungry, Baby?" he asked.

"Food would be nice," Blay smiled at him and his heart skipped a beat.

Qhuinn leaned into Blay and lightly pressed their lips together. He pulled back looking Blay in the eyes. "I love you," he whispered bring the house phone to his ear as Blay blushed. He let out a low growl as he waited for the kitchen to answer.

"Hey Fritz. Yeah man. You're the best," he said into the phone. The old _doggen_ was amazing. He had known what was needed without Qhuinn saying a word. "Fritz said he'd have fresh food up in five."

He took the opportunity to steel another little kiss as he hung the phone up. His heart skipped again and he smiled. This was perfect. So fucking perfect.

Qhuinn slipped from the bed and reached for his clothes. Blay was still a little pale and Doc Jane hadn't been back to check him. It was best if Qhuinn put a little distance between them. He thought about how amazing waking up with Blay in his arms had been as he pulled his pants back on.

"You want a clean shirt?" he asked Blay as he rounded the bed.

"If you don't mind," he blushed again.

"You need to stop that shit right now or I won't be held responsible for my actions," Qhuinn grinned eyeing Blay over his shoulder as he went to the closet to grab a shirt. As he crossed the room the shutters started rising. It was night fall already; so much had changed in the last twenty-four hours.

"I can't help it," Blay said. "It's just you. You know."

"Here let's get this on before the _doggen_ show up and you blush again," Qhuinn crossed back to the bed and helped Blay into a dress shirt. He had grabbed a light blue one so that Blay's eyes stood out even more than usual. "When you blush it's all I can do to keep my hands off you. And right now I'm afraid the things I want to do to you go against the Doc's orders for you to rest."

Blay smiled at him as he buttoned the shirt up for the male. "Qhuinn, you don't have to button my shirt. I'm not that bad off."

"Hey, you better enjoy all this pampering while you can," He teased as he stood back up and picked up Blay's pants off the floor. He took them to the bathroom and put them in the hamper.

"Alright, that's it," Blay called to him from the bed. Qhuinn smiled at the laughter is his voice, it was a good sign. "Who are you and what have you done with the real Qhuinn?"

He sat on the side of the bed again. "Ha. Ha. Very funny. I said you better enjoy this now, cause as soon as you're better it'll be right back to your ass nagging mine to clean," he paused. They smiled at each other. He grinned, "Then you'll just do it for me."

This felt so right, so perfect. Qhuinn had the oddest sensation and realized that he was happy. He hadn't felt like this in so long, he had almost forgotten the feeling.

He fussed with Blay's pillows until the knock on the door. He kissed Blay's forehead and got up and opened the door. Two _doggen_ entered followed by Fritz.

Fritz placed a stand between the bed and Qhuinn's chair. The first _doggen _place his tray there and moved to collect one of the old trays. The other placed her tray in the now empty spot and collected the other old tray. Both slipped quietly from the room.

"Masters, is there anything else I can do for you at the moment?"

"No, Fritz. You've done more than enough," Blay answered.

"Master Qhuinn perhaps I can bring you a set of clean clothes?" He asked.

"Sure, man," Qhuinn smiled at him. "You really do think of everything. You rock."

The old _doggen_ bowed his head. "Thank you, sire. I will leave your things outside the door as not to disturb you anymore. Do call if you have any other needs tonight," he said leaving the two alone again.

…

Blay watched as Qhuinn removed the cover from the food tray and sat it aside. As he inhaled the scents coming from the tray his stomach growled causing him to blush yet again.

'_What is with me tonight,_' he thought. '_I can't even move without blushing.'_

Qhuinn sat on the side of the bed and picked up a plate. He cut a piece out of the stack of pancakes and held it up for him to eat. "Qhuinn, I think I can feed myself," he said reaching for the fork.

"I don't think so," Qhuinn said leaning out of reach. "Just sit back and enjoy," he said touching the food to Blay's lips.

Blay smiled around the bite of pancakes then opened his mouth. He closed his lips over the fork and slowly slid them off. He smiled at the look in Qhuinn's eyes as he ate. Blay had a hard time believing this was happening. That Qhuinn was really here, really doing all this. Hell he had just put dirty clothes in the hamper. Qhuinn held up another bite and they repeated the process. This time Qhuinn licked his lips as he watched. It made Blay feel amazing.

Blay knew this was dangerous, but earlier when he had still been wrapped in Qhuinn arms he had felt so safe and so loved. His heart was telling him to go ahead and jump in, Qhuinn was there to catch him, but his head was telling him whoa boy, hold up, you know this is only temporary. He took another bite and watched Qhuinn. This was everything he wanted. He was positive that it was love he saw in those beautiful mismatched eyes watching him.

'_But for how long?_' he thought.

He took another bite.

'_Will I survive if he leaves?_'

He took another bite. Qhuinn continued to smile.

'_When did it change from 'when' to 'if'? Damn, there's that hope again._'

He took another bite.

'_Should I trust in this? Should I trust him?_'

He took another bite. The pancakes were almost gone.

'_He would never hurt me on purpose,_' Blay knew that with all his heart.

He took another bite.

'_But he's hurt me so much already._'

He took the last bite of pancakes.

'_And I don't care. It was the past. If this is real, if he is really here to stay, it was all worth it. Right?_'

Qhuinn grabbed the other plate from the tray. Eggs, sausage and biscuits. He cut a piece of sausage and held it up. Blay smiled, "You need to eat too."

"There's another tray. I'll eat when you're done. Now eat. I need you healthy again," Qhuinn said.

"**You** need me healthy?" Blay smirked, shaking his head and took the bite.

"Told you I was a selfish bastard," Qhuinn looked so serious Blay laughed at him.

"That you are, Love," Blay responded and took the bite of egg offered to him.

"Love?" Qhuinn looked at him all funny.

"If you get 'baby', I get 'love'," and that's when Blay knew his heart had won and this was really going to happen. '_To hell with the consequences,_' he thought. If the worst happened he had John and Butch to see him through it. He could do this.

"I can live with that," Qhuinn sat the plate down and took both Blay's hand in his. "Does that mean you're ready?" There was so much hope in those blue and green eyes that Blay's breath was taken away.

Blay nodded.

"I'm still afraid," he whispered.

"I'm still here," Qhuinn answered leaning forward.

"I'm scared because I can't live without you."

"You don't have to ever again. I told you, I'm never letting you go again," Qhuinn was dead serious and this time Blay closed the distance between them.

At first the kiss was soft and sweet, and then Qhuinn wrapped one hand behind his head and pulled him closer. Blay opened his mouth and Qhuinn invaded. Blay was lost in the moment. This was his heart's desire. This was his dream come true. Qhuinn tasted even better than he remembered. They were taking it slow, savoring the taste of each other. Blay let out a little moan of pleasure and tried to get closer to Qhuinn. He pressed himself into Qhuinn only to jerk back in pain.

"Shit," Qhuinn growled. "You okay, Baby?"

"Yeah," he said rubbing his hand over the bandage. "I wasn't thinking."

Qhuinn laughed at him, "That's a first."

"Very funny," he said leaning back into the pillows to ease the pain.

"I think we just need to hold off on that shit until Doc Jane clears you," Qhuinn said.

"When did you become the mature one in this relationship?" Blay laughed.

"When your ass tried to die on me," Qhuinn said. He looked like he was in pain. "You can't ever do that to me again."

Blay squeezed his hands, "You know I can't do that. Neither of us can make that promise, not with the lives we lead. I will promise to try my damnedest to make it home safe to you every morning."

"Here you need to finish eating," Qhuinn grabbed the plate again. Avoidance, classic Qhuinn.

"Qhuinn, we need to talk this out."

"Not tonight, when you're better," Qhuinn held up another bite. "Promise. This is just too fresh right now."

Blay took the bite and ate it.

"We will finish this," he promised Qhuinn.


	24. Chapter 24

**I do not own any part of the Black Dagger Brotherhood. All of that greatness is the work of the amazing J R Ward.**

**As of 5-22-12 the wonderful GothicBelle has beta'ed this for me. Hopefully this is now easier to read.**

**I hope everyone enjoys.**

**Chapter Twenty Four**

Qhuinn was standing naked in Blay's shower and had never been so nervous in his life. Doc Jane was in the other room presumably giving Blay a clean bill of health.

It had been three nights since the attack on Syhren's home. Blay was looking as good as new. Qhuinn wasn't ready for him to be cleared yet. He had enjoyed the last two nights and days. He loved taking care of Blay. He had fed Blay ten meals now. There was something so satisfying in feeding his male. It also helped that Blay had the sexiest mouth on Earth. The way he slowly wrapped his lips around every bite was a total turn on to Qhuinn. He was amazed at what love could do. He had never wanted anyone the way he wanted Blay and yet it was so easy to set he's needs aside for Blay's right now.

Qhuinn had spent the last two days with Blay wrapped safely in his arms. They had spent the last two nights watching movies together. Blay would choose a chick flick to torture him with and then he would choose a horror movie to get revenge. He loved the way Blay tucked his head into his chest every time he was startled, though he didn't remember Blay ever being that jumpy before. They touched all the time now. Blay's hand belonged in his.

Their time together had been wonderful. Qhuinn and Blay had virtually been in their own little world the last two nights. The whole household seemed to be giving them space. Other than Doc Jane's regular visits and the _doggen_ that brought in their meals their only visitor had been John.

Last night John had dropped in to share his news. John was now a Brother. Qhuinn wasn't sure what that meant for him. He didn't think a Brother would need an _astrux nohtrum_. A Brother wouldn't have a need for a bodyguard. Where that left Qhuinn, he didn't know. He'd have to talk to the King soon. So many things where changing.

'_Damn,_' he thought as he lathered up his hair. '_I'm so nervous that my hands are shaking. Shit.'_

The thought of making love to Blay was driving him crazy. There was nothing he wanted more and at the same time it scared him to death. He had never since his transition been nervous about sex. He had had sex at least a thousand times. He had fucked countless females and males. Never, not once had he felt like this.

Then the answer came to him. '_I love him,_' he thought. '_This will be the first time I've ever made love to someone. To Blaylock.'_

Tonight he wanted to make love to Blay. This would not be sex; this would be so much more. This was his opportunity to express his feelings to Blay; the things he had put into words and the ones he couldn't. Tonight he would worship Blay. Tonight he was going to mark what was his. After tonight no one was going to be able to doubt his love for Blay.

…

Blay saw Doc Jane to the door and thanked her once more. He was officially cleared for all activities. All activities. Blay smiled to himself as he locked the door and turned towards the bathroom.

Qhuinn was in there and he was naked and wet. Blay left a trail of clothes on the bedroom floor. He could pick them up later. Some things were more important.

He opened the bathroom door and sucked in a breath at the sight of Qhuinn. He was turned away from Blay and was washing his hair. Blay watched the muscles of Qhuinn's back and shoulder's flex.

"Perfect," Blay whispered as he opened the shower door and slipped in blocking the spray of water.

Qhuinn froze in place. Blay put his hands on Qhuinn's shoulders, and then pressed a kiss between his shoulder blades. "I love you," he said punctuating each word with a kiss over the tattoo on the back of his neck.

Qhuinn growled and turned around. He latched his mouth onto Blay's and kissed him with so much passion Blay couldn't think. Blay wrapped his arms around Qhuinn holding him as tight as he could.

Blay couldn't seem to get close enough to his male. He could feel Qhuinn's nipple rings pressing into his chest. Qhuinn spun them around pinning Blay to the wall. He pulled Blay's leg up and wrapped it around his waste. This caused their hard lengths to rub and press together. They moaned into each other's mouths. Qhuinn moved his hips causing his erection to move against Blay's again. The fiction was a sweet ecstasy that was new to Blay. His breathing became quick and short. He could no long keep contact with Qhuinn's mouth. He buried his face in Qhuinn's neck. And whispered, "You're amazing, Love."

Qhuinn reached between them and wrapped his hand around both lengths.

"Sweet, Jesus," Qhuinn said. "You're so damn perfect, Baby."

Blay started to speak again but when he opened his mouth he couldn't stop himself. His fangs elongated and he sunk them into Qhuinn's neck. It was heaven. The best thing he had ever tasted. Suddenly he felt himself coming hard and fast. He pulled his fangs out and shouted, "Fuck."

"Fuck is right, Baby," Qhuinn said in his ear. He turned his head and captured Blay's lips in a gentle kiss.

Blay pulled back and returned his mouth to Qhuinn's neck to seal the wounds. Blay lowered his leg and pushed Qhuinn back under the spray of the shower.

"Qhuinn, I'm sorry. I'll make it up to you," he said blushing.

"Blay, make what up? That was amazing," Qhuinn smiled at him.

"I didn't know that was going to happen. I should have asked before biting you," Blay turned a darker shade of red. "Then I came all over you."

"That was the goal wasn't it?" Qhuinn laughed.

"Yes, but you were suppose to enjoy it too."

"Umm I'm glad I rocked your world that much, but Baby," Qhuinn said grabbing the wash cloth and soap. "You didn't make this mess all by yourself." He swept his hand down gesturing to the cum on his gorgeous stomach then lathered the wash cloth.

Blay was amazed. "Let me," he took the cloth from Qhuinn and slowly started at his neck making sure there was no trace of blood left. Then he ran the soapy cloth over Qhuinn's chest and abs making sure he was all clean. He cleaned his own front before he turned Qhuinn around and washed his back. Then he got to his knees.

Blay smiled at the sight of Qhuinn's perfect ass. He leaned forward and kissed one cheek. Qhuinn moaned and Blay's cock twitched.

"Baby, if you want to get me clean you better keep your lips to yourself," Qhuinn hissed at him.

"Really?" Blay asked as he soaped one leg and then the other. Blay smiled to himself and bit Qhuinn's other ass cheek.

Qhuinn spun around, "What the hell?"

"Too much, Love?" Blay asked lifting one eyebrow. Qhuinn's erect cock was now in his face. "From what I can see you seem to like it."

Blay dropped the rag and put one hand on Qhuinn's hip and took his length in the other. With his hand at Qhuinn's base he slid his tongue over the slit on his head. Once, twice, then sucked it into his mouth. Qhuinn moaned and Blay moved forward. When Qhuinn hit the back of his throat he slid back slowly drawing his hand down at the same time. He moved back and forth at a steady pace.

"Fuck, Baby," Qhuinn moaned. "Your mouth is so fucking perfect."

Blay smiled around the head of Qhuinn's cock. Qhuinn bucked into his mouth. He moved his hand from Qhuinn's shaft to his other hip to help control his movements. Blay looked up into Qhuinn's eyes, they were glowing with so much passion, and he thought he might weep with joy.

Qhuinn had moved his hands to Blay's head and weaved his fingers into his hair. "Blay?"

He asked looking into Blay's eyes. Blay didn't understand. He let Qhuinn slip from his mouth.

"What is it?" he asked getting to his feet. "Did I do something wrong? Did you not like it?"

Qhuinn ran his hand through his hair. "Of course I like it. Baby, what you where doing was awesome."

"Then what was wrong?" Blay had been afraid of this. Qhuinn had had many male partners along with all the females. He was far more experienced than Blay. Qhuinn was only the second male Blay had been with. The only one he had actually done anything to. He had never done anything to Saxton. They hadn't gotten that far.

When Qhuinn didn't answer Blay stepped out of the shower, grabbed a towel and headed in to the bedroom. He just didn't know what to do.

…

"Jane, I just don't understand why you won't discuss this," V said turning from the Four Toys to watch his _shellan_ as she finished getting ready for her evening with Marissa.

"Because I honestly don't have any issues with it," Jane said. "V, I knew coming into this relationship that you two were very close. Hell, that first night I was here I thought you two were lovers."

That first night, even with Butch as bad off as he was, Jane remembered thinking that she had been so sure they were lovers. What convinced her was the way V held Butch, like he was the most precious thing in the world. Like nothing could ever mean more to him. That was how V held her as they slept during the day. She fell asleep everyday knowing how very much she was loved.

"But I'm bonded to you," V responded.

"You're not using me as an excuse," Jane said stopping to glare at him. Sometimes she felt like smacking him upside the head for his stupidity and not the pleasure of it.

"You're my _shellan_," he said pulling her into his lap.

"You loved him first, though, didn't you?" She never thought she would have to convince Vishous that she understood; Butch yes, but never V.

"I love you more, Jane," he said wrapping his arms around her.

"I believe you," she said putting her head on his shoulder. "But you still love him and I'm fine with that." '_Especially if I get to watch once in a while,_' she thought.

V gave her a stunned look. "How can you be fine with that?"

"How can you ask that? I thought we were on the same page the other night. You should understand this. You're smart. I love you. I trust you. I want you happy." What else could she do to prove this?

"You make me happy," he squeezed her close.

"Not completely," she whispered sitting back up to look into his eyes.

"I am as happy as I've ever been."

She didn't doubt him and that was sad. He had given her so much. A real home, a family to care for, and a whole new race of beings to study. "But you could be happier. You still want him."

"I won't hurt you."

"Tell me one thing. Who comes first?"

"You. Always you," he didn't hesitate.

"This won't hurt me. I want this as much as you do. I want you to be as happy as I am," she softly kissed him.

"You're sure about this?" he asked pulling back from her this time.

"Yes. I have shared you with him from the beginning. And I've never been hurt, never felt left out, and never been jealous of you and him." These words were the truth and from her heart and she hoped he understood.

"You're absolutely sure?" He asked again.

"Positive. You know I love him just because he loves you." Jane smiled at her _hellern_.

"You know I fucking love you," he smiled back.

"I love you too. Now let me up. I've got a date with Marissa. We need some girl time."

"Girl time? You?" he laughed.

"Yes, girl time," she said getting up. "She and I need to bond too if this is really going to work."

"You are so damn perfect for me."

"Ditto," she said walking out the door.


	25. Chapter 25

**I do not own any part of the Black Dagger Brotherhood. All of that greatness is the work of the amazing J R Ward.**

**As of 5-22-12 the wonderful GothicBelle has beta'ed this for me. Hopefully this is now easier to read.**

**I hope everyone enjoys.**

**Chapter Twenty Five**

'_Fuck, fuck, fuck,_' Qhuinn thought. '_I've fucked it all up again.'_

He finished rinsing the soap off, grabbed a towel and hurried after Blay.

"Blay?" He called when he didn't see Blay in the bedroom. He felt panic rising in his chest. '_He has to be in here,_' he thought. He hadn't heard the door close. "Baby, where are you?"

"No more 'Baby'," Blay's eyes shot daggers at him as he came out of the closet pulling on a pair of stone washed jeans. "I should have known. The minute Jane cleared me you would go and change your tune."

"Fuck." He was ashamed. He had really done a number on Blay. The one person he needed most in the world didn't trust him. This was all his own damn fault.

"Actually, that's the one thing you don't seem to want from me," Blay spit the words at him turning back to the closet. "Guess I should be glad we managed what we did in there before you changed your mind."

"Would you shut the fuck up for one goddamn minute and let me explain?" Qhuinn yelled.

"If you're going to yell at me you can just get the fuck out of my room right now. I will not put up with that shit from you any more."

"I'm sorry, Baby," Blay flinched at the pet name and Qhuinn swallowed hard before continuing. "Just let me explain."

"Fine," Blay sat on the side of the bed. He put his hands in his lap and ducked his head. He looked so sad and defeated that Qhuinn wanted to kick his own ass. He never wanted to hurt Blay, yet that's all he ever seemed to do. '_Fuck me, I'm a total ass,_' he thought.

Not sure how to start he knelt in from of Blay. "First, I didn't change my mind. I have told you and told you I am here to stay. Second, I loved what you were doing. Your mouth is fucking amazing."

He covered Blay's hands with his. '_Sweet Scribe Virgin, I love this male,_' he thought and smiled at his lover.

Blay blushed, "Then what was the problem?"

"Baby, I was on the edge. I wasn't going to be able to hold back anymore," Qhuinn admitted. "Baby, I almost shoved myself down your throat. I was ready to totally fuck your mouth."

Blay looked up at him his blue eyes looked like glowing sapphires. "You could have," he whispered.

That broke Qhuinn. Good intentions be damned. He had his mouth on Blay's in less than a heart beat. He wrapped his arms around Blay's waist. Blay kissed him back with a hunger that had him growling. He stood pulling Blay up with him. "Pants off now," he growled and tossed his towel on the floor.

Blay quickly obeyed. As Qhuinn watched him shimmy the jeans down his perfectly toned legs he noted that Blay wasn't wearing any briefs. Un-fucking-believable. "Commando?"

"I wasn't thinking straight," Blay said with his cute little pouty lips looking so damn kissable.

"You're driving me crazy, Baby. I thought you said straight?" He grinned at Blay.

Blay blushed again, even deeper this time.

"So damn sexy," he growled backing Blay into the bed.

Blay rolled his eyes, "Just shut up already and kiss me."

So Qhuinn did. He wrapped one arm around Blay's waist pressing their once again hard cocks together. Amazing, they fit together so perfectly. He placed his other hand on the back of Blay's head weaving his fingers in his hair. Blay was fucking made for him.

'_This is fucking Heaven,_' he thought. Blay was the best thing he had ever tasted. He could kiss this irresistible, beautiful male for eternity and still not be satisfied.

Qhuinn let out another growl as Blay clung to his shoulders. Blay shifted and the next thing he knew he was on the bed flat on his back. Blay was sprawled on his chest. Blay broke the kiss then trailed kisses along his jaw line and down his neck and chest. Blay circled his nipple before flicking the ring with his tongue. A jolt of electricity went through Qhuinn. He moaned and Blay did it again this time sucking the nipple into his mouth. Blay's tongue when around and around his nipple. His lover was damn sexy. Just when he was sure he was going to come, Blay stopped. Qhuinn looked down at him.

"You really like that, don't you, Love?" Blay smiled at him.

"So fucking much, you wicked little minx," Qhuinn said stroking his cheek.

"Then I best not neglect this one," Blay latched on to his other nipple and repeat the process.

"Fuck, Baby, your mouth is amazing." He said thinking, '_I've said that so many times I'm starting to sound like a fucking broken record._'

Blay stopped again and continued his path down his chest. Blay paused and paid special attention to his abs. He licked up and down all the little dips in between and nipped at the muscles. It was really sexy too. Qhuinn never realized that abs could be this erotic.

"You have the greatest abs I've ever seen, Love," Blay told him. "I've always admired them. There one of my favorite of your features."

Those words made him feel special. He been told he had a great body numerous times, but had never felt any emotion. Blay's words made him happy and proud. Pride in himself was new to Qhuinn. He realized that with Blay he didn't feel like a reject any more. He just felt loved.

"I love you so fucking much, Blay."

"Good. Now let me show you how much I love you." Blay slid off the edge of the bed. Blay grabbed his thighs, pulled him to the edge of the bed and spread his legs open.

He sat up so he could see what Blay was up too. Blay was kneeling between his legs. His heart started racing. "Blay, you don't have to do this. I don't want you to think I expect you to be submissive all the time."

"Qhuinn, just when I think I can't love you any more than I already do, you do something so amazing you floor me," Blay said then kissed the inside of his right thigh. "Now relax. I want to do this," he kissed the inside of his other thigh. "So many times I have watched others doing this to you just wishing it was me instead."

Qhuinn took Blay's head in his hands and rubbed his thumbs along his cheeks. Looking Blay in the eyes he said, "So have I, Baby, so have I."

Blay wrapped his hand around Qhuinn's dick and started pumping it. It felt wonderful. Blay took his balls in the other hand and lightly squeezed. Qhuinn's hands dropped to his sides and gripped the comforter. This was fucking perfect. Blay held eye contact with him as he licked the tip of his cock. This was even better than the first time. He had the feeling every time was going to be better than the last when it came to Blay. In one motion Blay took him to the back of his throat again. He moaned and threaded his fingers in Blay's hair again. God he love that hair. It was always soft and silky to the touch.

"Fuck, Baby," He moaned trying not to buck and giving Blay's hair a little tug. He really didn't want Blay to think he had to let him come in his mouth. He wanted to make sure this was Blay's choice. He wanted to make sure his lover didn't feel pressured.

Blay moaned around his cock and the feeling made him jerk. Blay started moving his head up and down again, his hand mimicking the motion of his mouth. Blay moved his other hand away from Qhuinn's sack, skimming it over his thigh and hip, up along his abs and ribs, and settled it on his neck. It was the most intimate thing anyone had ever done to Qhuinn.

Blay paused for a second, his mouth full of Qhuinn, and then he swallowed taking him even farther down his throat. Qhuinn dropped back onto the bed. The pleasure was getting to be too much. Blay's hand settled in the center of his chest.

"Fuck, fuck, fuck," he moaned out. Blay swallowed again. "Damn, Blay." Qhuinn could feel his orgasm building in his stomach. A warm surge moving through his body. His eyes rolled back in head. Before he could say anything he erupted into Blay's mouth. He heard Blay cough, but couldn't lift his head to check on him. He was far to gone. His body had taken over and he pumped into Blay's mouth a few more times. Then he couldn't move at all. He couldn't talk. '_Best fucking orgasm ever,_' he thought.

Blay's hands slipped from his body and he felt the mattress shift as he sat on the bed.

He felt Blay nudge his chest and opened one eye.

"Qhuinn, Love," Blay had lean down to whisper in his ear.

He turned his head and capture Blay's lips. He had the most perfect male on the planet. He deepened the kiss and realized the slightly salty new flavor in Blay's mouth was him. It was sexy as hell.

He pulled back, "Blay I'm sorry. It just came on me too fast to warn you. Did you really swallow?"

"Does that surprise you?" Blay sounded so unsure of himself that Qhuinn quickly kissed him again.

"Baby, no one's ever done that with me before. You're amazing."

"You mean I'm finally the first at something with you," Blay smiled his eyes lighting up.

Qhuinn stood up and move around Blay to sit at the head of the bed against the headboard.

"Come here, Baby," he said.

Blay crawled up beside him and he wrapped his arm around Blay's shoulders. He couldn't believe how right it felt when Blay put his head on his shoulder. He then reached over and laced his fingers with Blay's. He had never considered himself anywhere near being an affectionate person, but he loved holding Blay's hand. Loved holding Blay period.

"Blay you've been a lot of firsts in my life. You were my very first friend. You were my first best friend. You're the first person I ever got drunk with," he grinned at Blay knowing this was about to get a little serious. "You're the first person I want to tell anything to. You were the first person I ever shared my thoughts and feelings with. You're the first person that ever really accepted me. You were the first person to tell me I wasn't a reject, that my defect didn't matter, that I was worth something. You're the first person to ever love me. Do you know how fucking important that is to me? You are the first person I have ever loved," Qhuinn kissed the top of Blay's head trying to lighten things up a bit before finishing. "You're the first person I've ever actually made love to, even if you've done all the work so far."

Blay looked up at him, he had tears on his face, but he was smiling, "Am not. I remember you doing some pretty wonderful things to me in that shower."

"That ain't nothing compared to what I have planned, but I'm going to finish this little speech first," he smiled and kissed Blay again. "You're the first person I've ever wanted to take care of, to protect. You are number one in my life."

"Qhuinn," Blay said running his fingers along the chain around his neck and touching his tear shaped tattoo. "You may love me more than anything, even life itself, but John Matthew will always be first in your life. Don't argue with me, there's no point. I am so proud of you for what you did for John Matthew. It was very brave and honorable that you became his _abstrux nohtrum_. I am so proud of you. My male, you are my male of worth."

Qhuinn kissed him again so that he couldn't see the unshed tears in his eyes. "Baby, you are too damn good for me. But like I said before I'm a selfish bastard and I won't ever give you up," he stole another kiss. "I'm never going to get enough of your mouth. You know you give the best fucking blow jobs ever."

Blay blushed, "I'm glad you liked it."

"Liked it? Blay, there isn't a word to describe how awesome that was. I don't know how many of those you've given, but I sure as hell have been on the receiving end of a lot, too fucking many to count and I am being humble saying best fucking one in history."

Blay snuggled back into his side and sounding embarrassed said, "Two."

Qhuinn didn't get it. "Two what?"

"Two blow jobs. You were my first."

That really confused him. "What about Sax?"

"We never got that far."

"What do you mean?" Even as the fury built in him, Qhuinn needed to know what had really happened between his cousin and Blay. Then maybe he could completely box it away and move on with his and Blay's new life.

"Well I never… we, umm, well…"

"Baby, take a deep breath and just tell me what happened that day," he said stroking Blay's hair. "I need to know."

"I didn't plan on anything to happen. I was just so hurt and mad and really confused. I only meant to rest with him like the night before. I knew better though, I knew going in there something would happen," Blay paused and took another deep breath. "Who am I fucking kidding? Deep down I knew it would hurt you and right then I wanted to hurt you so fucking bad. I was being petty. I wanted you to feel like I did, even if it didn't last," Blay turned and wrapped his arms around Qhuinn's waist. He was crying. "I'm so sorry, so very sorry."

Qhuinn swallowed hard before he spoke. "I deserved to be hurt. Blay, I did too many fucked up things where you're concerned. There isn't enough pain in the world to inflict on me to make up for what I've put you though. Baby, will you finish telling me? I need to hear this so I can really move on."

"Well we made out for a while and then Saxton…," Blay was embarrassed again, "Well he gave me a blow job. That was it."

"That was it? How could that be it?" He tilted Blay's face back up so he could see his eyes. No way had his cousin stopped without being satisfied. They had a lot of the same blood in their veins and he knew for a fact that when it came to sex, Sax was just as selfish as he was.

"You see . . . I called your name out when I came," Blay was ashamed. He could see it all over his face, but he was so damn happy he laughed.

Blay pulled away, "That is so not funny, Qhuinn," Blay punched him in the arm. "Asshole."

"Your asshole," he said still laughing. "I can't help it. I can't tell you how happy that makes me. If that makes me an asshole, like I said I'm your asshole."

With a boldness that surprised him Blay straddle him and sat on his lap. The feel of Blay's bare ass against him had his dick up and saluting again. He growled and flipped Blay onto his back. Raising Blay's leg he kissed a trail from his calf up to his thigh then from his belly button to the base of his throat pausing to suck the skin above Blay's throbbing vein.

"Fuck," Blay said bucking against him. Qhuinn could feel Blay hardening under him. Such a fucking turn on.

He used his tongue to follow the vein up to Blay's ear and nipped the lobe before whispering in his ear, "Am I really your first, Baby?"

"Yes, Qhuinn, only you. You're all I've ever wanted, Love." Blay's words knocked the air out of his lungs.

"You're mine, Baby, all **mine**," he growled as his bonding scent pour off of him.

He moved back down the bed and picked up Blay's other leg. He trailed kiss along this leg too, only this time instead of moving on to Blay's stomach he ran his tongue around the head of Blay's dick. He sucked the head into his mouth then pulled back and blew on the tip. Blay hissed and bucked. Qhuinn watched as a drop of precum appeared. He licked it off marveling at the taste and took Blay in mouth again. He took him all the way to the back of his throat. Taking a page out of Blay's book he wrapped one hand around his base.

He felt one of Blay's hands on his head and looked up. Blay was gripping the headboard above his head with his other hand. His eyes were closed and he was biting down on his bottom lip. It was the sexiest thing he had ever seen and it had his cock throbbing again. Qhuinn carefully worked Blay. He made sure to trail his tongue ring up and down the vein on the underside of Blay's dick. Blay twitched in his mouth and bucked against him. Blay was so close. He was so beautiful.

"Qhuinn," Blay panted pulling at his hair. "I'm about to come."

He just pushed Blay's hand away and sucked on him harder. Blay exploded into his mouth and scream his name. The cum was warm and salty, nothing like Qhuinn had expected. Not too bad. Blay pumped a few more waves of cum into his mouth. He swallowed it all. On second thought, he loved salty things. Blay tasted great.

Qhuinn trailed kisses back up Blay's body and kissed him again. He tasted blood. Blay must have bit his lip too hard. He drew back and licked Blay's lip sealing the small wound.

"Baby, you taste so damn good," he smiled down at his lover.

"Qhuinn, you are a sex god," Blay stared up at him with love in his brilliant blue eyes.

He sucked two of his own fingers into his mouth wetting them. When he removed them he looked Blay in the eyes again. "Let me make love to you. Let me take you, _leelan._"

As he started to move his hand down Blay grabbed his wrist.

"I love you so much," Blay said. "There's nothing I want more right now. The lube's in the night stand drawer."

Qhuinn had to smile, "Good thinking."

He opened the night stand drawer and was surprised at what he found. Not only did Blay have a bottle of lube in there he also had a vibrator. He couldn't help himself. He snatched the vibrator up and waved it in Blay's face.

"Been experimenting in your free time?"

Blay actually blushed from head to toe and covered his face with his hands. Qhuinn laughed.

Blay jerked his hands down and for the second time that evening said, "Not fucking funny, Qhuinn."

"Baby, you are so sexy when you blush. I couldn't help myself," he said toss the damn thing back in the drawer and getting the lube out this time. "Actually that thing could come in handy later. If things ever get boring it could help spice them back up. We can play with it when you get tired on me."

Blay had calmed back down while he spoke and was looking absolutely delicious again.

"I'll never be tired of you, Love," Blay said.

"Well then shall we continue," he said lifting Blay up a bit and putting a pillow under his ass. "Want you to be comfortable, Baby."

He put lube on two of his fingers and slowly worked them in and out of Blay getting him ready.

"Feel good, Baby?"

"Qhuinn, I need you in me now," Blay moaned.

Qhuinn quickly lubed up. He positioned himself at Blay's entrance and slowly and carefully pushed his head in. He watched Blay's face for any sign of pain, none showed. He continued to push in slowly until he was completely buried in Blay's sweet, tight ass.

"Blay, you are so fucking tight, so fucking perfect."

Blay's muscles clinched around him. They both moan. He captured Blay's mouth and kissed him as he started moving in and out. Every time he pulled out Blay's muscles would clinch again. The feeling was so fucking amazing. Qhuinn's bonding scent was flowing again. He had been right; no one would ever doubt Blay was his after tonight.

He must have found the right spot because Blay jerked his mouth away from his and shouted his name. Blay flung his head back leaving his neck exposed. Qhuinn felt his fangs slide out. "So fucking perfect," he whispered and sunk his fangs into Blay's vein. It was warm and sweet like honey with a little spice. It was better than any female he had ever tasted. He took just a few long pulls and noticed a new smell. Blay's bonding scent was pouring over him. Before he could completely process the event his orgasm hit him. He rode it out, his mouth never leaving Blay's neck. Blay however was screaming his name again. Finally he sealed the wounds and collapsed on top of his male.

"I seriously think my bones melted," Blay said nipping at Qhuinn's ear. "Sex God, you were amazing. You can do that to me any time you want."

"Baby, we're going to have to fucking sound proof this room," he said rolling off Blay and scooping his discarded towel off the floor. "You are such a fucking screamer."

Blay had come all over the two of them. It gave Qhuinn a feeling of satisfaction that he had pleased Blay. He had never taken the time to please others when having sex. It had always been about him getting off. More proof that this was love. Qhuinn cleaned them both off and tossed the towel again. He lay back down on his side and drew Blay to him. He pulled the throw on the foot of the bed up over them not wanting to make Blay get up to get under the covers. If it got too cold he could always grab one of the extra blankets from the closet. Over the past few days here in Blay's bed spooning like this had become his favorite way to sleep.

"I tried to be quite, I really did," Blay blushed again settling into his embrace.

"Yeah and I don't want you ever pulling that shit again. Scream all you want. I don't fucking care who hears. I'm serious we'll have the walls lined. You are not to hurt yourself again. Are we clear?" Qhuinn knew he was being a little too fucking intense, but this was his male he was talking about.

Blay turned his head to look at him. "You really are a bonded male, Love."

"And damn proud of it. I'm not the only bonded male in this room you know," he smile and gave Blay a little peck on the lips.

"It's been a long time coming," Blay gave him a scolding look when he smiled. "Don't you dare laugh at that. I'm being serious," Blay playfully smacked him on the thigh. "I love you so very much, _Nallum_, that at times it actually hurts."

"I love you with every fucking thing in me, Baby. I'm yours and only yours, now and forever," he kissed Blay slowly savoring the way their tongues moved together. "Now," he said pulling Blay tight against his chest again. "Let's get some rest so we can get another round or two in before Wrath orders us back on patrol."

Blay took a deep breath, "I love you always, _Nallum_."

He kissed the back of Blay's head. "I'll love you into the Fade. Baby, you are my everything."

Qhuinn fell asleep with Blay wrapped safely in his arms. For once all was right in his world.


End file.
